Reset my Weight Goals and Learned to Identify True Friends
After losing about ten pounds last fall and winter, I stagnated around the winter holidays. Since January, I was just hovering between 133 and 136. I only took a couple breaks from working out but otherwise was putting five hours a week into it. However, my eating had fallen off discipline so I wasn't losing nor gaining weight.
My birthday was on the last week of June, and then our friend came to town to celebrate the Fourth of July. So it was two whole weeks of eating and drinking. On July 15th, my friend from Korea was going to visit for 9 days and that obviously meant lots of Portland food and beer. I also had to drop a week's worth of workout classes during her stay.
Between the Fourth of July and my friend's arrival, I only had about a week to fully control my diet. Rather than put it off until after she left, I decided to lose whatever weight I could for now. I somehow managed to lose almost 3 pounds in seven days and I was feeling more energetic than ever. I think setting a smaller short-term goal really helped because it made it seem much easier.
Nine days, my friend came, stayed and left. In those nine days I had gained five pounds.
I was angry with myself, of course, but I couldn't help but be annoyed with my friend, too. I was obviously looking for someone else to blame because I didn't want to completely admit that it was all my fault. However, I also had to be realistic about the fact that she was making it hard, too.
Until now, every friend I'd ever had here in Oregon have always been supportive and appreciative of my efforts to get back into shape. Even friends who wanted me to come out to bars with them were happy if I just had an unsweetened iced tea; they just wanted to enjoy my company. They were also happy to split orders for smaller portions. They never told me to stop dieting or stop working out.
For the first time, someone I had considered a close friend was basically belittling my efforts and telling me that it was more important to overindulge for her sake. In a way, I could understand she might be self conscious about eating everything alone during her first visit to the US ever. Yet, this could only validate her attitude to a short extent. She was literally trying to push food in my face - and I mean literally; have you had someone just keep holding up food right at your mouth like they think you don't know how to feed your own goddamn self? And she'd keep pressuring me to eat more. At the same time, she'd take two bites of her food and say she was full.
I get that the Korean way of showing you care is to inquire if you've eaten or, even if you have, to encourage them to eat more. However, it's not the least bit kind if you know that your friend is dealing with weight problems and you're pushing a doughnut into her face. Nor is it encouraging in any way to tell her that, "You're cute because you have plump cheeks." The moment she said this, I ceased to see her as misguided in her kind intentions. I saw her as a saboteur.
Again, this may not be your intention when you are telling your friend that she looks fine as she is and that she doesn't have to diet, that she can eat a little more, that maybe she's pushing herself too hard. However, if your friend is really struggling with weight, it may be better for her if she stops seeing you during the course of her progress. You're not helping her feel better by telling her to eat more. You're belittling her efforts to lose weight.
This may not be your intention, but consider the amount of discipline and focus it takes for one to count calories, to commit another hour a week of exercise into a busy week, to steer clear of favorite foods for healthier choices, to cut sweets and sugar out of beverages and learn to drink flavorless water instead. Applying all these changes to our lifestyle is more than a big step forward.
This is where I'll end my already long rant. I do admit that I had the ultimate control to keep my hands close and away from excess food, snacks and beverage. No matter how hard she tried to have things her way, I should have put my foot down when it was necessary. Realizing this was actually more empowering than I had expected. I mean, I could just hate myself for what I've done in the past but it's really what I do about it and how I hold myself responsible for my past actions and decisions that really matter.
Once I came to terms with that, I prepared myself for another strict exercise and healthy diet regimen. In two days, I somehow managed to purge four of the five pounds I had gained. I guess the prior weeks of exercising and dieting had done wonders to my metabolism. Saturday, I was bedridden with fatigue and muscle aches from what I call Hurricane Su (friend's nickname). Sunday, I had gone on a hike but I had also heartily partaken in a BBQ potluck consisting of 6 different types of meat and drinks. Saturday I worked out for two hours but I consumed 1500 calories. Monday morning, I weighed in at 0.8 pounds less. By the end of the same day, I had lost another 1.8 pounds. it was like my body was just so eager to get rid of all the crap I had put into it and went through a serious fast purge.
And the week has only begun :) I'm going to be super disciplined with my diet and continue doubling my workouts when I can. I'll still have cheat days so I can stay happy and keep the metabolism stimulated.
My birthday was on the last week of June, and then our friend came to town to celebrate the Fourth of July. So it was two whole weeks of eating and drinking. On July 15th, my friend from Korea was going to visit for 9 days and that obviously meant lots of Portland food and beer. I also had to drop a week's worth of workout classes during her stay.
Between the Fourth of July and my friend's arrival, I only had about a week to fully control my diet. Rather than put it off until after she left, I decided to lose whatever weight I could for now. I somehow managed to lose almost 3 pounds in seven days and I was feeling more energetic than ever. I think setting a smaller short-term goal really helped because it made it seem much easier.
Nine days, my friend came, stayed and left. In those nine days I had gained five pounds.
I was angry with myself, of course, but I couldn't help but be annoyed with my friend, too. I was obviously looking for someone else to blame because I didn't want to completely admit that it was all my fault. However, I also had to be realistic about the fact that she was making it hard, too.
Until now, every friend I'd ever had here in Oregon have always been supportive and appreciative of my efforts to get back into shape. Even friends who wanted me to come out to bars with them were happy if I just had an unsweetened iced tea; they just wanted to enjoy my company. They were also happy to split orders for smaller portions. They never told me to stop dieting or stop working out.
For the first time, someone I had considered a close friend was basically belittling my efforts and telling me that it was more important to overindulge for her sake. In a way, I could understand she might be self conscious about eating everything alone during her first visit to the US ever. Yet, this could only validate her attitude to a short extent. She was literally trying to push food in my face - and I mean literally; have you had someone just keep holding up food right at your mouth like they think you don't know how to feed your own goddamn self? And she'd keep pressuring me to eat more. At the same time, she'd take two bites of her food and say she was full.
I get that the Korean way of showing you care is to inquire if you've eaten or, even if you have, to encourage them to eat more. However, it's not the least bit kind if you know that your friend is dealing with weight problems and you're pushing a doughnut into her face. Nor is it encouraging in any way to tell her that, "You're cute because you have plump cheeks." The moment she said this, I ceased to see her as misguided in her kind intentions. I saw her as a saboteur.
Again, this may not be your intention when you are telling your friend that she looks fine as she is and that she doesn't have to diet, that she can eat a little more, that maybe she's pushing herself too hard. However, if your friend is really struggling with weight, it may be better for her if she stops seeing you during the course of her progress. You're not helping her feel better by telling her to eat more. You're belittling her efforts to lose weight.
This may not be your intention, but consider the amount of discipline and focus it takes for one to count calories, to commit another hour a week of exercise into a busy week, to steer clear of favorite foods for healthier choices, to cut sweets and sugar out of beverages and learn to drink flavorless water instead. Applying all these changes to our lifestyle is more than a big step forward.
This is where I'll end my already long rant. I do admit that I had the ultimate control to keep my hands close and away from excess food, snacks and beverage. No matter how hard she tried to have things her way, I should have put my foot down when it was necessary. Realizing this was actually more empowering than I had expected. I mean, I could just hate myself for what I've done in the past but it's really what I do about it and how I hold myself responsible for my past actions and decisions that really matter.
Once I came to terms with that, I prepared myself for another strict exercise and healthy diet regimen. In two days, I somehow managed to purge four of the five pounds I had gained. I guess the prior weeks of exercising and dieting had done wonders to my metabolism. Saturday, I was bedridden with fatigue and muscle aches from what I call Hurricane Su (friend's nickname). Sunday, I had gone on a hike but I had also heartily partaken in a BBQ potluck consisting of 6 different types of meat and drinks. Saturday I worked out for two hours but I consumed 1500 calories. Monday morning, I weighed in at 0.8 pounds less. By the end of the same day, I had lost another 1.8 pounds. it was like my body was just so eager to get rid of all the crap I had put into it and went through a serious fast purge.
And the week has only begun :) I'm going to be super disciplined with my diet and continue doubling my workouts when I can. I'll still have cheat days so I can stay happy and keep the metabolism stimulated.