(no subject)
Welp, back on the old LJ I see, and in the school computer lab to boot. These things have got to stop, meaning that I need to either a)get the internet at my house, or b)stop wasting so much time at school and actually drive home at a respectable time. Of course, I semi have a reason for being here so late. By the time my Japanese class lets out, traffic is already bad. Me being with little money and gas as it is, I'm awfully scared of not getting home. This being put into account I have decided to stay at school until the traffic is reduced to at least 90% of its status thus far and then make it home while coasting all the hills and using gravity as MY BITCH!
It's just a plan of course...
I guess I should apologize to all the people I inconvenienced on Saturday. I have issues... I know. And not just phone issues, but person issues I have to really hash out soon. I feel like I need to just get my life in check as soon as possible, but the way things seem, I have to basically live day by day, but not in the good sense. I'm definitely a slave to the 4th dimension, and it feels like all I ever do is wait. I don't act, I just wait. I miss out on things, but I still just wait. Wait for a moment to happen and then when it does, all I can really do is wait till the next moment.
I guess this really means that I'm a very unconfident person. I was thinking about this yesterday, and in my opinion I really don't have anything to be too confident about. It's kind of like the work industry. If you don't have experience, you don't get the job. But what do you do if you just get into the job market without any experience? Isn't it all up to the other person to just give you a chance. Isn't it just up to luck, or fate, or whatever you could possibly call it?
I think one of my biggest problems is that I just have way too much time to think about things. Everything really. I think about a lot of nothing also. Sometimes I'll try and get something accomplished like maybe read a book or play a video game or maybe even watch a movie, but after 10-20 minutes I kind of space out and just stare off into space. You start watching the trees, the way they sway with the wind. The hummingbirds playing with each other. Your wandering mind forgetting if they ever do stop moving their wings and finally when they do, you think "oh, that's right..." Or maybe when you're sitting on a bench somewhere and you just start noticing little things about people. Small mannerisms. Probably only things loved ones would notice, because people really don't take the time to look in the first place.
Le Sigh... ^^
I guess all this entry is based on is uncertainty, loneliness, and maybe desperation. It's weird how the loneliest moments one can experience are usually in the midst of people. Like when you say goodbye to someone in a dark parking lot that may as well be the last parking lot at the end of the universe. That, is a lonely feeling...
[Tired of writing, end]
It's just a plan of course...
I guess I should apologize to all the people I inconvenienced on Saturday. I have issues... I know. And not just phone issues, but person issues I have to really hash out soon. I feel like I need to just get my life in check as soon as possible, but the way things seem, I have to basically live day by day, but not in the good sense. I'm definitely a slave to the 4th dimension, and it feels like all I ever do is wait. I don't act, I just wait. I miss out on things, but I still just wait. Wait for a moment to happen and then when it does, all I can really do is wait till the next moment.
I guess this really means that I'm a very unconfident person. I was thinking about this yesterday, and in my opinion I really don't have anything to be too confident about. It's kind of like the work industry. If you don't have experience, you don't get the job. But what do you do if you just get into the job market without any experience? Isn't it all up to the other person to just give you a chance. Isn't it just up to luck, or fate, or whatever you could possibly call it?
I think one of my biggest problems is that I just have way too much time to think about things. Everything really. I think about a lot of nothing also. Sometimes I'll try and get something accomplished like maybe read a book or play a video game or maybe even watch a movie, but after 10-20 minutes I kind of space out and just stare off into space. You start watching the trees, the way they sway with the wind. The hummingbirds playing with each other. Your wandering mind forgetting if they ever do stop moving their wings and finally when they do, you think "oh, that's right..." Or maybe when you're sitting on a bench somewhere and you just start noticing little things about people. Small mannerisms. Probably only things loved ones would notice, because people really don't take the time to look in the first place.
Le Sigh... ^^
I guess all this entry is based on is uncertainty, loneliness, and maybe desperation. It's weird how the loneliest moments one can experience are usually in the midst of people. Like when you say goodbye to someone in a dark parking lot that may as well be the last parking lot at the end of the universe. That, is a lonely feeling...
[Tired of writing, end]