My sweetest Sin - Chapter IX
When a person’s whole world shatters, time turns out to be a not more than loosely defined something - whole hours and days fly by in a blurr, without real beginnings or endings or contents, wheras certain moments seem to stretch into forever, only to be constantly replaying after they finally, finally die.
JaeJoong was currently sitting on the hood of a dirty old car wreck, the cold mid-autumn air stinging his delicate skin and he felt like he just came back to conciousness when the smallest and iciest of droplets started hitting his frame mercilessly. Trying to figure out where, or when and especially how, he mentally rewound to the spot he knew was hiding there, not too long ago, if the deep red, still stinging bruise on his cheek was anything to go by. The disappointment, the disgust, the selfrightous judgement in the priest’s eyes were haunting the young boy ever since; but what really happened afterwards was merely a vague, most certainly distorted memory.
Just for one moment and for the first time in weeks, JaeJoong felt relieved, finally at peace with himself, when he internally admitted how much there really was that connected him to the teenage giggolo. It wasn’t only the fact that Yunho had stolen his virginity, had tainted him, introduced him to a whole world of sin, or the fact that he was so openly against everything religious, everything JaeJoong believed in and found strength in; with more time passing, he found himself drawn to the mysterious, broken aura surrounding the taller teen, his delinquent ways surely appealing. Maybe it was due to the extreme contrast between the two 17-year-olds, but everything that Yunho did or said, the way he was and the things he thought - Jae found himself very interested in, wanting more.
But when Father Matthew suddenly appeared, catching his charge kissing an obvious inappropriate, male stranger in the middle of the street - no, the slap he gave Jae wasn’t really that much of a surprise in retrospective - all of the positiveness of his little epiphany suddenly disappeared.
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“Tell me again - why did you bring annoying church boy back here?”
Yunho sighed and finally turned his gaze away from the window that showed the old junkyard where a certain black haired beauty sulked in the drizzle. No matter how often the question was asked, Yunho really couldn’t find a satisfying answer; but he’d already figured that with JaeJoong, this tended to be the standard.
“Come on, Chun, what choice did I have? I mean, he was practically kicked out of his home and neither you nor me can honestly pretend that wasn’t at least partly our fault.”
Just thinking back to JaeJoong’s face after the priest slapped him - he didn’t look angry or shocked that a man of church would use violence but just caught. When the old man then turned away, full of disappointment and with words of disapproval muttered under his breath, the young acolyte was way too shaken to just leave him there onhis own. And, additionally, in all that commotion Yunho didn’t forget about the sole reason why the priest found out; the boy had kissed him!
The gigolo dared another look at the backyard, at the lost boy sitting there in the freezing rain.
“Really, Chun, what have I done?” It was merely a whisper, but it helped changing Micky’s whole attitude. They had talked about this before, about Yunho corrupting the pious boy with YooChun drugging him and even back then, covered by joking and showing off, they both knew what they did was despicable.
“He had everything before I entered his life.”
Now it was the older’s turn to look outside as well, his face serious and his voice calm.
“Well, I guess we have enough space and a history of broken souls living here, so why don’t you get him inside and we grand him a roof to sleep under, or however they say it, at least as long until he figures this one out for himself?”
It was already getting dark when Yunho finally found the courage to go outside and talk to JaeJoong. Or well, maybe not outright talk, but at least getting closer to the boy again. He was slowly walking towards the car, clad in a thick, woolen sweater as he was wondering how the hell the other boy managed to spend hours sitting in the cold with nothing to protect him from the wind and the rain other than this thin jacket. So, when he settled down next to Jae on the old wreck’s hood and he couldn’t think of anything to say, he chose to voice out this.
“It’s usually pretty cold in the convent, as so we should not get used to too much luxury. You know, because other people in the world suffer much more?”
The voice was hoarse and he didn’t even glance into Yunho’s general direction when he answered, but at least he reacted at all.
“Sorry, but I really don’t get most of these rules and prohibitions the church sets up. Most of the time I find myself doing something wrong without even intending them; they’re just so... complicated and sometimes really dumb.”
Yunho briefly wondered why it was so easy to get comfortable around JaeJoong, even in his state of grief and desperation. The slightly younger boy was by now lying on top of his folded arms, looking into the cloudy, dark sky. Maybe now that the other wasn’t feeling so superior due to his religiousness anymore, they were finally on the same level. Both hurt, both let down.
“Listen, Jae, I’m sor-“ the (former?) acolyte raised his hand to stop Yunho from apologizing.
“I apperciate that, Yunho, but I don’t want to hear it right now, okay? Still, I guess I do owe you an apology as well - I’m sorry I judged about your lifestyle while mine wasn’t that much better, as it turned out in the end.”
The guilty feeling that pooled in Yunho’s abdomen would most probably stay for a while, he decided. Well, it was his own fault, wasn’t it?
“Nah, don’t say that! I won’t be able to recognize you if you’d stop lecturing me at any given chance.”
Of course, that didn’t force a bubble of laughter out of the other, but it was a try.
“If it helps any, you are welcome to stay here as long as you need to. I talked with Chun about that and I bet the others will be okay with it as well, so... well, you’ve got a place. And now, let’s get inside, I’m fucking freezing out here!”
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Why did everything had to be this difficult with this boy? It took Yunho at least 15 more minutes of begging and persuading before Jae finally agreed to come inside as well - he kept insisting that if he felt cold, Yunho should just go and leave him there, but come on, he wasn’t that much an asshole, right?
Finally inside, the two boys were greeted with the rest of the inhabitants of the warehouse and Yunho couldn’t suppress an annoyed groan. Of course, somehow the news must have spread - they actually were never all together in the evenings. It was the best time for business. His dark rimmed stare focused on Chun, who at least at the decency to look a little sheepish, but most probably that didn’t mean anything.
“Hey Yunho, I hope you don’t mind, but if there’s a new kid moving in with us, we all like to get t know him. That’s what good manners would demand, right, Jae?” The smug look on Micky’s face made JaeJoong shy away a little, the whole attention thing too much for him to handle right now. Instinctively, he stepped backwards, hiding himself behind Yunho in the process.
“Now, now, pretty boy, don’t be shy. Just ignore the druggie if he makes you feel uncomfortable.” A pretty guy
said upon getting up and nearer to the new addition. He was really pretty and very feminine in his looks, but something about his eyes spoke of danger.
“My name’s HeeChul, most people here just call me Chul or master. You’re allowed to use the latter!”
Confused, the Christian boy turned his head and looked at Yunho, trying to wordlessly ask him how to handle this.
“Just ignore him, the princess is just trying to play a little with you.” A short exchange of arrogant gazes made HeeChul sitting down again, a smirk on his lips that left JaeJoong uncomfortable. “Anyway, this guy over there is Siwon, Chul and Micky you already know, and the two guys in that corner over there are ChangMin and Kyuhyun, aka devillish duo or the masters of snark. Guys, this is JaeJoong, he’s got a little trouble and will stay here for a while until everything cooked down a bit.”
Few of the guys were smiling wickedly, especially those two youngsters in the back, but Jae tried not to let his discomfort show. By the looks of it, they’ll let him have a place to stay for sometime, so he should just get along with them, right?
“Well, welcome then.” The most amicable looking of them - Siwon it was? - was greeting him, directly followed by YooChun again. “So, Jae, you already decided where to make your bed for the night?”
An opening HeeChul couldn’t help but jump in. “Well, maybe he should get to know us first before he decides; what are you saying about staying here for the night, together with all of us?”
The slightly seductive undertone didn’t go unnoticed by Jae, but before he could as much as fully process the words, he already felt someone grabbing his hand and dragging him away.
Much to his relief, it was Yunho, leading him into his room - one JaeJoong did already know quite well. He swallowed thickly as the memories flooded his brain. Yunho was already on the huge mattress that was the floor, rearranging some pillows and blankets and by the looks of it, he wasn’t sharing JaeJoong’s inapproriate walk down the memory lane.
“Don’t ever, ever stay in their company at night when I’m not there, alright?
And with that said, the teenage gigolo handed him a towel and an old, worn t-shirt. Seems like they were getting ready for the night.
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A/N: Hey my lovelies!! First of all: Thank you guys so much for all your comments on the last chapter - I was overwhelmed with all the love♥ I didn't have the time to reply, I'm so sorry, but I wanted to focus on giving you the new chapter asap! I hope you don't mind?
So, this chapter... I know, it's mostly some kind of filler and not really dramatic or very interesting. But I think all those things needed to be written, so yeah, I hope, you're not disappointed^^;
Btw, I didn't re-read this chap (mostly cause I was writing it on my way to university XP) so I hope it does make sense at least XD
Love you all♥
JaeJoong was currently sitting on the hood of a dirty old car wreck, the cold mid-autumn air stinging his delicate skin and he felt like he just came back to conciousness when the smallest and iciest of droplets started hitting his frame mercilessly. Trying to figure out where, or when and especially how, he mentally rewound to the spot he knew was hiding there, not too long ago, if the deep red, still stinging bruise on his cheek was anything to go by. The disappointment, the disgust, the selfrightous judgement in the priest’s eyes were haunting the young boy ever since; but what really happened afterwards was merely a vague, most certainly distorted memory.
Just for one moment and for the first time in weeks, JaeJoong felt relieved, finally at peace with himself, when he internally admitted how much there really was that connected him to the teenage giggolo. It wasn’t only the fact that Yunho had stolen his virginity, had tainted him, introduced him to a whole world of sin, or the fact that he was so openly against everything religious, everything JaeJoong believed in and found strength in; with more time passing, he found himself drawn to the mysterious, broken aura surrounding the taller teen, his delinquent ways surely appealing. Maybe it was due to the extreme contrast between the two 17-year-olds, but everything that Yunho did or said, the way he was and the things he thought - Jae found himself very interested in, wanting more.
But when Father Matthew suddenly appeared, catching his charge kissing an obvious inappropriate, male stranger in the middle of the street - no, the slap he gave Jae wasn’t really that much of a surprise in retrospective - all of the positiveness of his little epiphany suddenly disappeared.
۰۰†۰†۰†۰†۰†۰۰
“Tell me again - why did you bring annoying church boy back here?”
Yunho sighed and finally turned his gaze away from the window that showed the old junkyard where a certain black haired beauty sulked in the drizzle. No matter how often the question was asked, Yunho really couldn’t find a satisfying answer; but he’d already figured that with JaeJoong, this tended to be the standard.
“Come on, Chun, what choice did I have? I mean, he was practically kicked out of his home and neither you nor me can honestly pretend that wasn’t at least partly our fault.”
Just thinking back to JaeJoong’s face after the priest slapped him - he didn’t look angry or shocked that a man of church would use violence but just caught. When the old man then turned away, full of disappointment and with words of disapproval muttered under his breath, the young acolyte was way too shaken to just leave him there onhis own. And, additionally, in all that commotion Yunho didn’t forget about the sole reason why the priest found out; the boy had kissed him!
The gigolo dared another look at the backyard, at the lost boy sitting there in the freezing rain.
“Really, Chun, what have I done?” It was merely a whisper, but it helped changing Micky’s whole attitude. They had talked about this before, about Yunho corrupting the pious boy with YooChun drugging him and even back then, covered by joking and showing off, they both knew what they did was despicable.
“He had everything before I entered his life.”
Now it was the older’s turn to look outside as well, his face serious and his voice calm.
“Well, I guess we have enough space and a history of broken souls living here, so why don’t you get him inside and we grand him a roof to sleep under, or however they say it, at least as long until he figures this one out for himself?”
It was already getting dark when Yunho finally found the courage to go outside and talk to JaeJoong. Or well, maybe not outright talk, but at least getting closer to the boy again. He was slowly walking towards the car, clad in a thick, woolen sweater as he was wondering how the hell the other boy managed to spend hours sitting in the cold with nothing to protect him from the wind and the rain other than this thin jacket. So, when he settled down next to Jae on the old wreck’s hood and he couldn’t think of anything to say, he chose to voice out this.
“It’s usually pretty cold in the convent, as so we should not get used to too much luxury. You know, because other people in the world suffer much more?”
The voice was hoarse and he didn’t even glance into Yunho’s general direction when he answered, but at least he reacted at all.
“Sorry, but I really don’t get most of these rules and prohibitions the church sets up. Most of the time I find myself doing something wrong without even intending them; they’re just so... complicated and sometimes really dumb.”
Yunho briefly wondered why it was so easy to get comfortable around JaeJoong, even in his state of grief and desperation. The slightly younger boy was by now lying on top of his folded arms, looking into the cloudy, dark sky. Maybe now that the other wasn’t feeling so superior due to his religiousness anymore, they were finally on the same level. Both hurt, both let down.
“Listen, Jae, I’m sor-“ the (former?) acolyte raised his hand to stop Yunho from apologizing.
“I apperciate that, Yunho, but I don’t want to hear it right now, okay? Still, I guess I do owe you an apology as well - I’m sorry I judged about your lifestyle while mine wasn’t that much better, as it turned out in the end.”
The guilty feeling that pooled in Yunho’s abdomen would most probably stay for a while, he decided. Well, it was his own fault, wasn’t it?
“Nah, don’t say that! I won’t be able to recognize you if you’d stop lecturing me at any given chance.”
Of course, that didn’t force a bubble of laughter out of the other, but it was a try.
“If it helps any, you are welcome to stay here as long as you need to. I talked with Chun about that and I bet the others will be okay with it as well, so... well, you’ve got a place. And now, let’s get inside, I’m fucking freezing out here!”
۰۰†۰†۰†۰†۰†۰۰
Why did everything had to be this difficult with this boy? It took Yunho at least 15 more minutes of begging and persuading before Jae finally agreed to come inside as well - he kept insisting that if he felt cold, Yunho should just go and leave him there, but come on, he wasn’t that much an asshole, right?
Finally inside, the two boys were greeted with the rest of the inhabitants of the warehouse and Yunho couldn’t suppress an annoyed groan. Of course, somehow the news must have spread - they actually were never all together in the evenings. It was the best time for business. His dark rimmed stare focused on Chun, who at least at the decency to look a little sheepish, but most probably that didn’t mean anything.
“Hey Yunho, I hope you don’t mind, but if there’s a new kid moving in with us, we all like to get t know him. That’s what good manners would demand, right, Jae?” The smug look on Micky’s face made JaeJoong shy away a little, the whole attention thing too much for him to handle right now. Instinctively, he stepped backwards, hiding himself behind Yunho in the process.
“Now, now, pretty boy, don’t be shy. Just ignore the druggie if he makes you feel uncomfortable.” A pretty guy
said upon getting up and nearer to the new addition. He was really pretty and very feminine in his looks, but something about his eyes spoke of danger.
“My name’s HeeChul, most people here just call me Chul or master. You’re allowed to use the latter!”
Confused, the Christian boy turned his head and looked at Yunho, trying to wordlessly ask him how to handle this.
“Just ignore him, the princess is just trying to play a little with you.” A short exchange of arrogant gazes made HeeChul sitting down again, a smirk on his lips that left JaeJoong uncomfortable. “Anyway, this guy over there is Siwon, Chul and Micky you already know, and the two guys in that corner over there are ChangMin and Kyuhyun, aka devillish duo or the masters of snark. Guys, this is JaeJoong, he’s got a little trouble and will stay here for a while until everything cooked down a bit.”
Few of the guys were smiling wickedly, especially those two youngsters in the back, but Jae tried not to let his discomfort show. By the looks of it, they’ll let him have a place to stay for sometime, so he should just get along with them, right?
“Well, welcome then.” The most amicable looking of them - Siwon it was? - was greeting him, directly followed by YooChun again. “So, Jae, you already decided where to make your bed for the night?”
An opening HeeChul couldn’t help but jump in. “Well, maybe he should get to know us first before he decides; what are you saying about staying here for the night, together with all of us?”
The slightly seductive undertone didn’t go unnoticed by Jae, but before he could as much as fully process the words, he already felt someone grabbing his hand and dragging him away.
Much to his relief, it was Yunho, leading him into his room - one JaeJoong did already know quite well. He swallowed thickly as the memories flooded his brain. Yunho was already on the huge mattress that was the floor, rearranging some pillows and blankets and by the looks of it, he wasn’t sharing JaeJoong’s inapproriate walk down the memory lane.
“Don’t ever, ever stay in their company at night when I’m not there, alright?
And with that said, the teenage gigolo handed him a towel and an old, worn t-shirt. Seems like they were getting ready for the night.
۰۰†۰†۰†۰†۰†۰۰
A/N: Hey my lovelies!! First of all: Thank you guys so much for all your comments on the last chapter - I was overwhelmed with all the love♥ I didn't have the time to reply, I'm so sorry, but I wanted to focus on giving you the new chapter asap! I hope you don't mind?
So, this chapter... I know, it's mostly some kind of filler and not really dramatic or very interesting. But I think all those things needed to be written, so yeah, I hope, you're not disappointed^^;
Btw, I didn't re-read this chap (mostly cause I was writing it on my way to university XP) so I hope it does make sense at least XD
Love you all♥