its impossible to be rid off

[sahriou]

 time and time again I keep trying to block the image from my mind

seeing the gun in eriks mouth

the top of his head bursting open and blood flowing out like lava

hearing the agonizing final scream as he slumps against the wall

i could have stopped him but we all thought it was just another prank

all i feel is regret

no happiness, no joy, no thrill or love, just regret

i wish i could forget it

i try and try and for brief moments it works

when i act silly and weird with the people close to me... just trying to forget

i dont want to remember

every time i do i feel myself being pulled closer and closer to repeating his actions

i just want to forget
but i have to face it accept it one day and move on

i just don't know how