[PG13] Confessions From a Broken Heart
Title: Confessions from a Broken Heart
Chapter: 11/ 13 + alternate ending
Author: sahbeL
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I do not own these boys. <3
Characters/Pairings: JaeHo/YooSu
Summary: “JaeJoong-Hyung! IF you had to choose between your own life and the success of Dong Bang Shin Ki, which would it be?”
Author's Notes: Oh gosh, ladies and gentlemen, sahbeL here and im SICK...T__T again. not as badly as before, but still. I really really blame the weather and can't wait for spring/summer to get here already! I'm so over wind and cold, it's not even funny. Anyway, as you can see (or you know, or you've heard) this fic has an alternate ending so it can flow smoothly onto the sequel. I'm not counting it as a chapter because it was really a spur of the moment thing when I realised as I posted the final chapter that I didn't want to stop writing JaeHo fics. lol. EnjOy this one! ^^
NOTE: For those who are participating in the whole fic!BGM thing, same rules as before, Don't open the cut until you've got access (& can repeat) the song. The music cue for this chapter is: "Holding Back the Tears" by DBSK and "Begin" - DBSK. For those who don't have the song in their computers, I suggest youtubing it & just playing it as you read. (The scenes are a bit longer than last time and the [Music Fade] should be followed since there's different songs). Anyway! Enjoy! & don't forget to tell me what you think!
--x-
Chapter 11
Re-Cap
Yunho didn’t say anything as he pushed past the Doctor and walked ahead of her and the other members.
The tears had begun to fall.
Yunho found him on his own and not needing directions from Dr. Chang.
He looked small.
It was the first thought that crossed Yunho’s mind the moment he laid eyes on JaeJoong.
His love lay against the pillows, blissfully oblivious of anything that had happened after he collapsed.
If it weren’t for the shallow but steady rise and fall of JaeJoong’s chest, Yunho would have thought he were dead, seeing as he was so still and motionless.
It was like…JaeJoong was in the room with him…but…really, he wasn’t.
Yunho stood frozen at the foot of the bead, caught up in watching the lifeless JaeJoong. The light streaming in through the windows beside the bed bathed his angelic face with light. His dark-as-night hair contrasted strongly with the bright white pillows his head rested against.
His usually fair complexion was tinged with gray and the tube taped to his mouth marred the perfection that was JaeJoong.
Yunho ignored the tightness in his chest, not wanting to cry again because his dongsaeng would be in the room at any minute.
He knew it was up to him to show strength at this time, because he had to be strong for the younger ones. If he cried for JaeJoong now, somehow Yunho had a feeling that JaeJoong would think he was letting go and then the others would let go too.
Yunho couldn’t let that happen.
He walked over to the right side of the bed, taking JaeJoong’s cold and limp hand in his own and giving him his own warmth.
“I’m still here, Joongie. It’s okay. You can wake up now…” Yunho murmured, sitting in the chair placed beside the bed.
Of course there was no response.
He wished for JaeJoong to open his eyes. He wanted to see those big dark orbs meet his gaze. He wanted to be able to drown in JaeJoong’s eyes again and see him smile and laugh.
Yunho sighed and just murmured again, “It’s okay now, Joongie. You can wake up now…”
He was still holding JaeJoong’s hand in his when Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin followed Dr. Chang into the room.
Junsu POV
He saw Yunho sitting by the bed, clutching JaeJoong’s hand like he was afraid to let go.
For a split second, Junsu took the time to commit the scene in front of him to memory.
Two boys.
One lying prone in a hospital bed, eyes closed and weakened, but as beautiful as ever. His face was almost serene if it weren’t for all the tubes and IVs stuck to him.
And the other…the stronger one at that moment, afraid to show weakness but clutching the beautiful one’s hand like it were his lifeline.
He looked like he was watching over the sleeping one. As if guarding him while he slept.
Both were bathed in sunlight streaming in through the window revealing their expressions, one serene and the other showing a mixture of worry, fatigue and sadness.
As Junsu stood just inside the door, giving Yunho and JaeJoong some space, he felt a strong warm hand slip into his relaxed palm.
And then Yoochun was beside him just like that.
Composed and calm, silently offering his strength to Junsu’s wavering composure.
He was aware of Dr. Chang standing by the door behind them, and noticed that Changmin stood on his other side, wordlessly taking in the sight of Jae-hyung so lifeless.
No-one said a word, each member trapped in their own thoughts and worries, and afraid to approach the bed that held a different JaeJoong.
And then Yunho looked up and gazed at them, his eyes sad and tired and knowing what they were thinking.
In a soft and gentle tone, he called to his dongsaeng, holding out his free hand in the process and gesturing them to approach.
“It’s okay. It’s still him…” was all he said.
Junsu shivered and felt Yoochun squeeze his hand in reassurance. In response, Junsu groped for Changmin’s hand, who gratefully accepted and clutched his hand tightly.
And together, the three youngest members approached the bed holding their sleeping hyung.
Yunho POV - [Music Cue - “Holding back the tears” - DBSK]
His brothers approached simultaneously, surrounding JaeJoong’s bed in cautious silence.
Dr. Chang quietly stepped out of the room and left them to watch over the motionless form on the bed.
Yunho knew that it was useless telling them to go home. Despite the dark circles under their eyes, he knew that they wouldn’t leave, and suggesting that they do so would probably just offend them, so he wouldn’t even try to ask.
Talk to him. He can hear you even if he’s asleep, Dr. Chang had advised.
Yunho leaned back in his seat, never letting go of JaeJoong’s hand and let out a soft sigh.
Changmin had settled himself at the foot of the bed, silently playing with the corner of the blanket covering JaeJoong.
Yoochun settled against the armrest of another chair on the other side of the bed while Junsu sat in the seat and grasped JaeJoong’s other hand.
Dr. Chang’s words repeated in his mind. Talk to him. He can hear you even if he’s asleep.
Yunho swallowed nervously and then spoke in a voice husky from so much emotion experienced at once.
“We’re all here now, Joongie. We’re waiting for you to wake up.”
“Yeah hyung. What are you sleeping for?” Junsu continued softly, a hint of tentative teasing in his tone.
“I need someone to make me ramen, hyung. I haven’t eaten since yesterday,” Changmin said softly.
“Wake up, Jae-hyung. So I can sleep easy already…” Yoochun added.
Yunho felt tears burn his eyes when JaeJoong didn’t respond. Slowly he chewed his lip then leaned forward and murmured softly in JaeJoong’s ear.
“JaeJoongie-yah. If it’s not too much trouble…we’d really like for you to wake up now. Changmin is hungry. And Yoochun needs to sleep. And Junsu won’t smile. And I - I … I miss you.”
The room was still with expectancy, but there was no response from JaeJoong.
Junsu sighed in disappointment and rested his chin on the palm that held JaeJoong’s right hand.
“We’re waiting aren’t we…” Yoochun murmured softly without taking his gaze away from JaeJoong’s still form.
“It looks that way, hyung.” Changmin replied just as softly.
Yunho rested his head on JaeJoong’s shoulder and watched the older boy sleep.
-----
Dr. Chang watched the 5 boys from the door. Sunlight flooded the room but there seemed to be a dark shadow surrounding the bed.
Four watched over the beautiful one, their gazes never once wavering.
At that moment, the boys she saw didn’t seem like the most popular boy band in Korea.
They were just four brothers, praying to get the fifth back, and at the same time fearing the loss of one.
[Music fade]
------------------------------------------------------
Two days later…
Yunho sat in the same spot he’d occupied right from the start.
Apart from going home to shower and change once a day, he hadn’t left JaeJoong’s side.
On the other hand, Junsu, Changmin and Yoochun had been urged by their leader to go home and do some damage control with their manager-hyung.
Needless to say, the sight of JaeJoong collapsing on stage during a concert had caused mass chaos among Cassiopeia world-wide, and the news hadn’t taken long to reach every active Dong Bang Shin Ki forum, fan club, website, you-name-it-it’s-there site.
Yunho had just returned from recording a personal message with the other members, reassuring the fans that JaeJoong would be okay, and successfully hiding how uncertain he felt.
After recording it, Manager-hyung had taken Junsu, Changmin and Yoochun away to attend a press conference - more damage control.
“Yoochun-ah,” Yunho called softly as Junsu and Changmin walked on ahead, protesting all the while.
Yoochun looked at him enquiringly. No-one wanted to leave JaeJoong but they had settled for the fact that their Yunho-hyung would be watching over Jae-hyung while they held up DBSK.
They also knew that Yunho was counting on them more than ever.
Yoochun looked curiously at his hyung as Yunho held him back with a gentle hand on his arm.
“What is it, hyung?” Yoochun asked, his fatigue evident in his gaze.
“You’re in charge, okay?” Yunho simply said. His tone was soft but still had the necessary authority behind it.
“Without JaeJoong and I, you’re next. You have to watch over the others for a while, okay?” Yunho continued.
Yoochun had nodded. “Not a problem, hyung.”
Both boys had turned at the sound of their manager calling Yoochun.
Yoochun had turned back to Yunho, wordlessly asking his permission to go, even if he hadn’t said a word.
Yunho had nodded encouragingly to him. “Go,” he said softly.
Yunho had waited until his dongsaeng disappeared around the corner before walking back into JaeJoong’s room.
JaeJoong POV - [ Music Cue - ‘Begin’ - DBSK]
Darkness.
Darkness but no pain.
Just numb.
He was drifting aimlessly. JaeJoong had no idea how long he’d been in darkness, but there was one thing that kept keeping him away from the peace that beckoned him.
There was a voice.
In the darkness, a voice called to him as if it were from millions of miles away.
Sometimes it called to him endlessly. Simply saying his name over and over again.
Sometimes, it was so intense and angry that JaeJoong wanted to cry as it begged him endlessly not to go.
Sometimes, JaeJoong would just hear the voice break down into incoherent tears. It wasn’t a loud sobbing or hysterical wailing - the tears were shed with small whimpers, as if they were being denied even as they fell. As if the person who was crying was refusing to give in to the tears.
The voice clutched at him and refused to let him go. It didn’t matter how much the peace beckoned to him, JaeJoong knew he had to stay. Somehow he knew he had to stay.
“Joongie, I’m back,” JaeJoong’s heart jumped softly, and instinctively he tried to find the owner of the one who had spoken.
“So I just came from a personal message recording. You don’t know how many fans are worried about you. They’re freaking out like crazy…”
As the voice continued to speak, JaeJoong felt a sharp tug at his hand, as if someone had slipped their hand into his. He was being tugged and pulled slowly towards the direction the voice was coming from.
“Junsu, Changmin and Yoochun say ‘Hi’ and they’re sorry for not being here, but manager-hyung is really pushing us to make appearances because Cassiopeia-world is so worried about you.” There was a pause. “They say you had a scared look on your face before you collapsed…and now there are rumors that you’re…deathly ill.”
JaeJoong could hear him clearly now, as if the voice were speaking from right beside him.
The voice paused again, and then there was a deep intake of breath and a shudder, as if he were on the verge of tears.
“So wake up already and stop worrying people. Changmin makes his own ramen because of you! He really needs some of your cooking to fatten him up again…”
another pause and JaeJoong felt his hand being squeezed.
“Junsu only smiles when he’s in front of the camera. Yoochun has big dark circles under his eyes - and this is all because you won’t come back. Fight it, and don’t let us down!”
Another pause and JaeJoong felt a drop of wetness touch his hand.
“Don’t let me down…”
And then JaeJoong heard the small whimpers begin, making him feel like the most useless person on earth.
“This isn’t funny anymore, Joongie.” It was barely a whisper but JaeJoong heard it all the same, the hurt in the voice that made JaeJoong feel like he’d betrayed this person. “I can’t be Yunho without you…”
Yunho, JaeJoong thought.
This is Yunho. This voice is Yunho. This grief and tears is Yunho.
JaeJoong felt his heart beat faster as the darkness faded and changed into flashes of his Yunho.
He vaguely recalled the same voice frantically yelling at him to come back, way back when the darkness first engulfed him.
And then he also recalled the fist words he’d heard amidst the panic he had caused.
‘Joongie, I lied! When I said I didn’t love you, I lied!...Okay, Joongie! I love you! I change my mind okay?! I LOVE YOU!’
JaeJoong didn’t know whether he had gasped out loud or not but suddenly he opened his eyes. The harsh sunlight glared at him and the pain had returned, making him cringe slightly.
But JaeJoong ignored all of it and instead looked down at the bowed head rested against their entwined hands.
He tried to speak, but his voice was silent from days of neglect. JaeJoong tried again, relieved to hear a strangled rasp come out of him.
“Yunho-yah. Don’t cry, I won’t let you down anymore…”
[Music fade]
--x-
A/N: Two more chapters + alternate ending. Readers please join me in praying for spring/summer so that I stop re-lapsing into feeling so rotten every few weeks.. T__T
and another thing! I've been thinking about this for awhile, but have only recently decided to go for it (since I've got money now and nothing's stopping me... cept maybe the fact that my mom will kill me lol) But im getting a tattoo! On exactly the same spot where Jae's tatt is (except smaller) and it's going to be a butterfly, for reasons that are too LONG to explain. But it DOES have personal significance. =) Does anyone have any stories to share about tattoos? what do you guys think??
I should really start posting regular blog entries instead of just fics and small notes inserted as A/Ns. LOL.
Chapter: 11/ 13 + alternate ending
Author: sahbeL
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I do not own these boys. <3
Characters/Pairings: JaeHo/YooSu
Summary: “JaeJoong-Hyung! IF you had to choose between your own life and the success of Dong Bang Shin Ki, which would it be?”
Author's Notes: Oh gosh, ladies and gentlemen, sahbeL here and im SICK...T__T again. not as badly as before, but still. I really really blame the weather and can't wait for spring/summer to get here already! I'm so over wind and cold, it's not even funny. Anyway, as you can see (or you know, or you've heard) this fic has an alternate ending so it can flow smoothly onto the sequel. I'm not counting it as a chapter because it was really a spur of the moment thing when I realised as I posted the final chapter that I didn't want to stop writing JaeHo fics. lol. EnjOy this one! ^^
NOTE: For those who are participating in the whole fic!BGM thing, same rules as before, Don't open the cut until you've got access (& can repeat) the song. The music cue for this chapter is: "Holding Back the Tears" by DBSK and "Begin" - DBSK. For those who don't have the song in their computers, I suggest youtubing it & just playing it as you read. (The scenes are a bit longer than last time and the [Music Fade] should be followed since there's different songs). Anyway! Enjoy! & don't forget to tell me what you think!
--x-
Chapter 11
Re-Cap
Yunho didn’t say anything as he pushed past the Doctor and walked ahead of her and the other members.
The tears had begun to fall.
Yunho found him on his own and not needing directions from Dr. Chang.
He looked small.
It was the first thought that crossed Yunho’s mind the moment he laid eyes on JaeJoong.
His love lay against the pillows, blissfully oblivious of anything that had happened after he collapsed.
If it weren’t for the shallow but steady rise and fall of JaeJoong’s chest, Yunho would have thought he were dead, seeing as he was so still and motionless.
It was like…JaeJoong was in the room with him…but…really, he wasn’t.
Yunho stood frozen at the foot of the bead, caught up in watching the lifeless JaeJoong. The light streaming in through the windows beside the bed bathed his angelic face with light. His dark-as-night hair contrasted strongly with the bright white pillows his head rested against.
His usually fair complexion was tinged with gray and the tube taped to his mouth marred the perfection that was JaeJoong.
Yunho ignored the tightness in his chest, not wanting to cry again because his dongsaeng would be in the room at any minute.
He knew it was up to him to show strength at this time, because he had to be strong for the younger ones. If he cried for JaeJoong now, somehow Yunho had a feeling that JaeJoong would think he was letting go and then the others would let go too.
Yunho couldn’t let that happen.
He walked over to the right side of the bed, taking JaeJoong’s cold and limp hand in his own and giving him his own warmth.
“I’m still here, Joongie. It’s okay. You can wake up now…” Yunho murmured, sitting in the chair placed beside the bed.
Of course there was no response.
He wished for JaeJoong to open his eyes. He wanted to see those big dark orbs meet his gaze. He wanted to be able to drown in JaeJoong’s eyes again and see him smile and laugh.
Yunho sighed and just murmured again, “It’s okay now, Joongie. You can wake up now…”
He was still holding JaeJoong’s hand in his when Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin followed Dr. Chang into the room.
Junsu POV
He saw Yunho sitting by the bed, clutching JaeJoong’s hand like he was afraid to let go.
For a split second, Junsu took the time to commit the scene in front of him to memory.
Two boys.
One lying prone in a hospital bed, eyes closed and weakened, but as beautiful as ever. His face was almost serene if it weren’t for all the tubes and IVs stuck to him.
And the other…the stronger one at that moment, afraid to show weakness but clutching the beautiful one’s hand like it were his lifeline.
He looked like he was watching over the sleeping one. As if guarding him while he slept.
Both were bathed in sunlight streaming in through the window revealing their expressions, one serene and the other showing a mixture of worry, fatigue and sadness.
As Junsu stood just inside the door, giving Yunho and JaeJoong some space, he felt a strong warm hand slip into his relaxed palm.
And then Yoochun was beside him just like that.
Composed and calm, silently offering his strength to Junsu’s wavering composure.
He was aware of Dr. Chang standing by the door behind them, and noticed that Changmin stood on his other side, wordlessly taking in the sight of Jae-hyung so lifeless.
No-one said a word, each member trapped in their own thoughts and worries, and afraid to approach the bed that held a different JaeJoong.
And then Yunho looked up and gazed at them, his eyes sad and tired and knowing what they were thinking.
In a soft and gentle tone, he called to his dongsaeng, holding out his free hand in the process and gesturing them to approach.
“It’s okay. It’s still him…” was all he said.
Junsu shivered and felt Yoochun squeeze his hand in reassurance. In response, Junsu groped for Changmin’s hand, who gratefully accepted and clutched his hand tightly.
And together, the three youngest members approached the bed holding their sleeping hyung.
Yunho POV - [Music Cue - “Holding back the tears” - DBSK]
His brothers approached simultaneously, surrounding JaeJoong’s bed in cautious silence.
Dr. Chang quietly stepped out of the room and left them to watch over the motionless form on the bed.
Yunho knew that it was useless telling them to go home. Despite the dark circles under their eyes, he knew that they wouldn’t leave, and suggesting that they do so would probably just offend them, so he wouldn’t even try to ask.
Talk to him. He can hear you even if he’s asleep, Dr. Chang had advised.
Yunho leaned back in his seat, never letting go of JaeJoong’s hand and let out a soft sigh.
Changmin had settled himself at the foot of the bed, silently playing with the corner of the blanket covering JaeJoong.
Yoochun settled against the armrest of another chair on the other side of the bed while Junsu sat in the seat and grasped JaeJoong’s other hand.
Dr. Chang’s words repeated in his mind. Talk to him. He can hear you even if he’s asleep.
Yunho swallowed nervously and then spoke in a voice husky from so much emotion experienced at once.
“We’re all here now, Joongie. We’re waiting for you to wake up.”
“Yeah hyung. What are you sleeping for?” Junsu continued softly, a hint of tentative teasing in his tone.
“I need someone to make me ramen, hyung. I haven’t eaten since yesterday,” Changmin said softly.
“Wake up, Jae-hyung. So I can sleep easy already…” Yoochun added.
Yunho felt tears burn his eyes when JaeJoong didn’t respond. Slowly he chewed his lip then leaned forward and murmured softly in JaeJoong’s ear.
“JaeJoongie-yah. If it’s not too much trouble…we’d really like for you to wake up now. Changmin is hungry. And Yoochun needs to sleep. And Junsu won’t smile. And I - I … I miss you.”
The room was still with expectancy, but there was no response from JaeJoong.
Junsu sighed in disappointment and rested his chin on the palm that held JaeJoong’s right hand.
“We’re waiting aren’t we…” Yoochun murmured softly without taking his gaze away from JaeJoong’s still form.
“It looks that way, hyung.” Changmin replied just as softly.
Yunho rested his head on JaeJoong’s shoulder and watched the older boy sleep.
-----
Dr. Chang watched the 5 boys from the door. Sunlight flooded the room but there seemed to be a dark shadow surrounding the bed.
Four watched over the beautiful one, their gazes never once wavering.
At that moment, the boys she saw didn’t seem like the most popular boy band in Korea.
They were just four brothers, praying to get the fifth back, and at the same time fearing the loss of one.
[Music fade]
------------------------------------------------------
Two days later…
Yunho sat in the same spot he’d occupied right from the start.
Apart from going home to shower and change once a day, he hadn’t left JaeJoong’s side.
On the other hand, Junsu, Changmin and Yoochun had been urged by their leader to go home and do some damage control with their manager-hyung.
Needless to say, the sight of JaeJoong collapsing on stage during a concert had caused mass chaos among Cassiopeia world-wide, and the news hadn’t taken long to reach every active Dong Bang Shin Ki forum, fan club, website, you-name-it-it’s-there site.
Yunho had just returned from recording a personal message with the other members, reassuring the fans that JaeJoong would be okay, and successfully hiding how uncertain he felt.
After recording it, Manager-hyung had taken Junsu, Changmin and Yoochun away to attend a press conference - more damage control.
“Yoochun-ah,” Yunho called softly as Junsu and Changmin walked on ahead, protesting all the while.
Yoochun looked at him enquiringly. No-one wanted to leave JaeJoong but they had settled for the fact that their Yunho-hyung would be watching over Jae-hyung while they held up DBSK.
They also knew that Yunho was counting on them more than ever.
Yoochun looked curiously at his hyung as Yunho held him back with a gentle hand on his arm.
“What is it, hyung?” Yoochun asked, his fatigue evident in his gaze.
“You’re in charge, okay?” Yunho simply said. His tone was soft but still had the necessary authority behind it.
“Without JaeJoong and I, you’re next. You have to watch over the others for a while, okay?” Yunho continued.
Yoochun had nodded. “Not a problem, hyung.”
Both boys had turned at the sound of their manager calling Yoochun.
Yoochun had turned back to Yunho, wordlessly asking his permission to go, even if he hadn’t said a word.
Yunho had nodded encouragingly to him. “Go,” he said softly.
Yunho had waited until his dongsaeng disappeared around the corner before walking back into JaeJoong’s room.
JaeJoong POV - [ Music Cue - ‘Begin’ - DBSK]
Darkness.
Darkness but no pain.
Just numb.
He was drifting aimlessly. JaeJoong had no idea how long he’d been in darkness, but there was one thing that kept keeping him away from the peace that beckoned him.
There was a voice.
In the darkness, a voice called to him as if it were from millions of miles away.
Sometimes it called to him endlessly. Simply saying his name over and over again.
Sometimes, it was so intense and angry that JaeJoong wanted to cry as it begged him endlessly not to go.
Sometimes, JaeJoong would just hear the voice break down into incoherent tears. It wasn’t a loud sobbing or hysterical wailing - the tears were shed with small whimpers, as if they were being denied even as they fell. As if the person who was crying was refusing to give in to the tears.
The voice clutched at him and refused to let him go. It didn’t matter how much the peace beckoned to him, JaeJoong knew he had to stay. Somehow he knew he had to stay.
“Joongie, I’m back,” JaeJoong’s heart jumped softly, and instinctively he tried to find the owner of the one who had spoken.
“So I just came from a personal message recording. You don’t know how many fans are worried about you. They’re freaking out like crazy…”
As the voice continued to speak, JaeJoong felt a sharp tug at his hand, as if someone had slipped their hand into his. He was being tugged and pulled slowly towards the direction the voice was coming from.
“Junsu, Changmin and Yoochun say ‘Hi’ and they’re sorry for not being here, but manager-hyung is really pushing us to make appearances because Cassiopeia-world is so worried about you.” There was a pause. “They say you had a scared look on your face before you collapsed…and now there are rumors that you’re…deathly ill.”
JaeJoong could hear him clearly now, as if the voice were speaking from right beside him.
The voice paused again, and then there was a deep intake of breath and a shudder, as if he were on the verge of tears.
“So wake up already and stop worrying people. Changmin makes his own ramen because of you! He really needs some of your cooking to fatten him up again…”
another pause and JaeJoong felt his hand being squeezed.
“Junsu only smiles when he’s in front of the camera. Yoochun has big dark circles under his eyes - and this is all because you won’t come back. Fight it, and don’t let us down!”
Another pause and JaeJoong felt a drop of wetness touch his hand.
“Don’t let me down…”
And then JaeJoong heard the small whimpers begin, making him feel like the most useless person on earth.
“This isn’t funny anymore, Joongie.” It was barely a whisper but JaeJoong heard it all the same, the hurt in the voice that made JaeJoong feel like he’d betrayed this person. “I can’t be Yunho without you…”
Yunho, JaeJoong thought.
This is Yunho. This voice is Yunho. This grief and tears is Yunho.
JaeJoong felt his heart beat faster as the darkness faded and changed into flashes of his Yunho.
He vaguely recalled the same voice frantically yelling at him to come back, way back when the darkness first engulfed him.
And then he also recalled the fist words he’d heard amidst the panic he had caused.
‘Joongie, I lied! When I said I didn’t love you, I lied!...Okay, Joongie! I love you! I change my mind okay?! I LOVE YOU!’
JaeJoong didn’t know whether he had gasped out loud or not but suddenly he opened his eyes. The harsh sunlight glared at him and the pain had returned, making him cringe slightly.
But JaeJoong ignored all of it and instead looked down at the bowed head rested against their entwined hands.
He tried to speak, but his voice was silent from days of neglect. JaeJoong tried again, relieved to hear a strangled rasp come out of him.
“Yunho-yah. Don’t cry, I won’t let you down anymore…”
[Music fade]
--x-
A/N: Two more chapters + alternate ending. Readers please join me in praying for spring/summer so that I stop re-lapsing into feeling so rotten every few weeks.. T__T
and another thing! I've been thinking about this for awhile, but have only recently decided to go for it (since I've got money now and nothing's stopping me... cept maybe the fact that my mom will kill me lol) But im getting a tattoo! On exactly the same spot where Jae's tatt is (except smaller) and it's going to be a butterfly, for reasons that are too LONG to explain. But it DOES have personal significance. =) Does anyone have any stories to share about tattoos? what do you guys think??
I should really start posting regular blog entries instead of just fics and small notes inserted as A/Ns. LOL.