Happy Holidays?
Though Christmas and it's traditions have changed over the past many years, the message of the season for me is still and always Peace on Earth and Goodwill towards ALL. During my unconscious years, I thought that peace was beyond my control and contribution. I was confused. I thought that peace was only a global concern until I began to notice the people and things in my life that I was at war with. I began to truly understand the meaning of peace and if I continued to leave the business of peace to others to achieve, I was overlooking my responsibility and contribution... I was overlooking myself in the grand scheme of things. I saw my hypocrisy as I expected from others what I wasn't willing to do or give myself. I learned that choosing peace is at times not easy... especially when I needed to be right at the expense of making "them" wrong. I've learned that peace begins with me. I can't choose peace for the world, but I can certainly choose peace for myself. I can become a demonstration of peace if I'm willing to practice.
As you approach this holiday season, be mindful of who and/or what you've been at war with. If you use the past as a reason to be at war with someone or something in the present, the confusion is yours. The wonderful thing about the past is that it's over... unless YOUR thinking keeps it alive. We can't change the past but we can use it to support and illuminate our present and future... it's a choice. If we obsess about a painful past that's over and can't be changed, the chances are good that we keep recreating the same dynamics in the present. It's simply our thinking that we're reacting too, and not anything that's happening in THIS moment.
We can't control anyone or anything beyond ourselves. Look inward... that's where change is possible. We become dictators and war mongers as we demand others change to fit our illusion of how and who we think "it" or "they" should be. If you think you can impose your beliefs and agenda on others and use threats and intimidation to get their compliance, they may do what you demand out of fear... and that equals war... and in the end they're still who they are and we can never control anyone else's thinking but our own... sometimes. If "they" or "it" doesn't fit, it's your job to find something/someone who does. When we resort to control and manipulation of someone else in order to get our needs met, we create a world of confusion and suffering for ourselves and others; then wonder why we aren't having a wonderful life and happy relationships. Asking anyone to be inauthentic in order to gain your approval and acceptance is ultimate arrogance and destructive.
Accept people (including your spouse, lover, children, parents, friends, co workers, etc.) as they show up and as they are. In my experience, I can't be anyone but who I am, can you? And yet, we too often expect "them/it" to change in order to accommodate us and our disapproval. When you have the thought they should be, do, say, think or feel anything but what they do, it's you who causes the separation; it's you who's choosing war at that moment (even if only in your mind); it's you who's confused... and that doesn't mean we have to invite them for dinner or stay married to them!
"Should" is a mythical concept and argues with reality. People are who they are and they do what they do... we don't get a vote. Who do you become in the face of it or them? Are they the excuse you use to justify who you become when they are who they are? Every person and experience is simply a conduit that show us our own reflection. There are only 3 kinds of business in the universe... my business, your business and God's business. When you have a thought that anyone or anything should be different than than they are or it is... ask yourself who's business you're in. That simple question may help you to restore your balance and a return to peace.
May this and every season provide you opportunity to practice PEACE everywhere and with everyone. Give the gift of peace and transform your life and relationships. It is what it is and they are who they are... the question is... who are you? That's your only business.
Happy Holidays!
www.coach-connect.net
As you approach this holiday season, be mindful of who and/or what you've been at war with. If you use the past as a reason to be at war with someone or something in the present, the confusion is yours. The wonderful thing about the past is that it's over... unless YOUR thinking keeps it alive. We can't change the past but we can use it to support and illuminate our present and future... it's a choice. If we obsess about a painful past that's over and can't be changed, the chances are good that we keep recreating the same dynamics in the present. It's simply our thinking that we're reacting too, and not anything that's happening in THIS moment.
We can't control anyone or anything beyond ourselves. Look inward... that's where change is possible. We become dictators and war mongers as we demand others change to fit our illusion of how and who we think "it" or "they" should be. If you think you can impose your beliefs and agenda on others and use threats and intimidation to get their compliance, they may do what you demand out of fear... and that equals war... and in the end they're still who they are and we can never control anyone else's thinking but our own... sometimes. If "they" or "it" doesn't fit, it's your job to find something/someone who does. When we resort to control and manipulation of someone else in order to get our needs met, we create a world of confusion and suffering for ourselves and others; then wonder why we aren't having a wonderful life and happy relationships. Asking anyone to be inauthentic in order to gain your approval and acceptance is ultimate arrogance and destructive.
Accept people (including your spouse, lover, children, parents, friends, co workers, etc.) as they show up and as they are. In my experience, I can't be anyone but who I am, can you? And yet, we too often expect "them/it" to change in order to accommodate us and our disapproval. When you have the thought they should be, do, say, think or feel anything but what they do, it's you who causes the separation; it's you who's choosing war at that moment (even if only in your mind); it's you who's confused... and that doesn't mean we have to invite them for dinner or stay married to them!
"Should" is a mythical concept and argues with reality. People are who they are and they do what they do... we don't get a vote. Who do you become in the face of it or them? Are they the excuse you use to justify who you become when they are who they are? Every person and experience is simply a conduit that show us our own reflection. There are only 3 kinds of business in the universe... my business, your business and God's business. When you have a thought that anyone or anything should be different than than they are or it is... ask yourself who's business you're in. That simple question may help you to restore your balance and a return to peace.
May this and every season provide you opportunity to practice PEACE everywhere and with everyone. Give the gift of peace and transform your life and relationships. It is what it is and they are who they are... the question is... who are you? That's your only business.
Happy Holidays!
www.coach-connect.net