(no subject)
I was walking to campus on Alder this afternoon (which is a semi-residential street) when a man yelled at me. Typically what occurs is one or several honks, and by chance I had been reflecting on that topic earlier. It is a startling experience and serves to jolt one out of one's private thoughts. It is disruptive and rude, but not particularly personal.
Shouting at (young, skinny) women, though, is far more personal and vulgar. Blessedly, in the past all the words have been drowned out by traffic noise, but this time the speed was slow enough and the ambient noise low enough to get the exact gist of the comment.
"...those titties anyday!" My understanding of the earlier part was something like "I'd suck those..." or possibly even "I'd fuck those...". Ah, the possibilities: not endless, but several.
Since he was going so slow I could react. I whirled around and bellowed, "Fuck you!" Apparently the understanding that his comment displeased me was unexpected, and he got the last word with "You ugly anyway!" That begs the question of why he felt the need to comment, then, since my value as a person depends on my sexual use to him, even in passing. If I was truly ugly, then I would be beneath comment (unless possibly to try to put me down). I just wish I had my wits about me enough to shout, "Suck my dick!", for I feel that would have sent him into a homophobic tizzy.
Part of the problem of feminism is that people seem to hate standing around to hear a complete argument for it in the first place, much less in a moving vehicle. It seems like the only response, at least between strangers, is the basest, coarsest possible interaction in which discourse is impossible. That does not...surprise me, per se, but I wonder if an alternative is even plausible, given the resistance of certain friends to hearing, much less adopting, my stance.
The interaction did not take anything from me. This is only because I am an adult now; when I first started getting this sort of attention from men it very much surprised and intimidated me. I remember the first time I did not have that reaction: last semester, walking in downtown Tacoma at dusk, a man in an SUV actually interrupted his cell phone conversation to try to menace me into coming near his car. I said "No" and kept walking, but later reflected that I could have told him he was rude or something. Still, both experiences ruined my peace of mind and made my heart pound for a long time after that. It's nothing that I can't easily get over, but it is interesting to note how conditioned I am to be polite and comply, especially to the man who used intimidation, to the behavior exhibited to me. If I fight back, then I am "punished" by being declared "ugly," the lowest possible form of existence for a woman.
Next time I shall throw a rock.
Shouting at (young, skinny) women, though, is far more personal and vulgar. Blessedly, in the past all the words have been drowned out by traffic noise, but this time the speed was slow enough and the ambient noise low enough to get the exact gist of the comment.
"...those titties anyday!" My understanding of the earlier part was something like "I'd suck those..." or possibly even "I'd fuck those...". Ah, the possibilities: not endless, but several.
Since he was going so slow I could react. I whirled around and bellowed, "Fuck you!" Apparently the understanding that his comment displeased me was unexpected, and he got the last word with "You ugly anyway!" That begs the question of why he felt the need to comment, then, since my value as a person depends on my sexual use to him, even in passing. If I was truly ugly, then I would be beneath comment (unless possibly to try to put me down). I just wish I had my wits about me enough to shout, "Suck my dick!", for I feel that would have sent him into a homophobic tizzy.
Part of the problem of feminism is that people seem to hate standing around to hear a complete argument for it in the first place, much less in a moving vehicle. It seems like the only response, at least between strangers, is the basest, coarsest possible interaction in which discourse is impossible. That does not...surprise me, per se, but I wonder if an alternative is even plausible, given the resistance of certain friends to hearing, much less adopting, my stance.
The interaction did not take anything from me. This is only because I am an adult now; when I first started getting this sort of attention from men it very much surprised and intimidated me. I remember the first time I did not have that reaction: last semester, walking in downtown Tacoma at dusk, a man in an SUV actually interrupted his cell phone conversation to try to menace me into coming near his car. I said "No" and kept walking, but later reflected that I could have told him he was rude or something. Still, both experiences ruined my peace of mind and made my heart pound for a long time after that. It's nothing that I can't easily get over, but it is interesting to note how conditioned I am to be polite and comply, especially to the man who used intimidation, to the behavior exhibited to me. If I fight back, then I am "punished" by being declared "ugly," the lowest possible form of existence for a woman.
Next time I shall throw a rock.