Security
Yes.
I did indeed deactivate my FB again.
My Issue
I've been having a difficult time for
a while now when it comes to online
social networks. Excluding LJ here,
naturally. Barely anyone uses it
anymore anyway.
I actually really miss MySpace.
Back in its glory days anyway.
It was far less personal, and
had much better privacy settings
to be able to hide yourself from
any public searching.
Not to mention how much more you
could personalize and customize
it, and it wasn't strict at all
about what name you used.
FaceBook may have become much more popular
because it was the answer to MySpace's theme of
more "look at me and my bling page! We may only
comment each other once in a while, but look at
all my bling!!!". FB took a more simple approach,
focusing instead on people talking and sharing
pics and games and knowing each other.
Unfortunately, Zuckerberg wanted it to be a little
too personal. Not only did he do what Anderson
did by signing away your rights to any material
you uploaded to his website, but would make
private information public, and just blame it on
a convenient "glitch" whenever there would be
an HTML edit to the system or profiles. This
would suddenly expose much more than you
thought to the public. Let alone the "friends
of friends" setting, which didn't limit it to just
friends of your friends, but practically anyone
else who knew them, and so on could see it
all... every single even remotely negative
thing you may have shared, many more
people than you realized would see it.
In my teens and early-mid 20's, at the time, I
wanted to get my image out there as this eccentric
kid who needed everyone to pay attention to me and
recognize me for the "unique" individual I was. To
make my dent in the world. Little did I realize what
I was really doing then was making a huge mess for
myself later (now) when I've finally started to grow
up and actually want to make a legit try to do some-
thing with my life toward a respectable career...
let alone the US Navy.
We especially have to care in this economy,
where it seems barely anyone is hiring, and
when they do, you better be less questionable
than the competition.
Now, I have to check google searches every so often
to see if my MySpace pictures have been taken off
the search ever since I deleted my profile about a
year or so ago.
About the only smart choice I made in the whole time
I was persuing this persona was to use a non-legal
name. Hey, even if it was the name I was meant to
be given and it changed the night I was born, it's still
not my legal name. Therefore, it'll be much harder for
potential employers to piece it together.
It'll help even more when I do marry that I'll most
likely take the woman's last name, rather than to
keep my own (as I mentioned in my last entry...
an entry which, if you're not on my friend's list
here, you won't see it... because LJ is awesome
like that and actually means "private" or "friends
only" when you post something... let alone their
even more awesome custom friends filter feature :)).
Employment vs Private Life
Not only am I doing this to appear as a better
person and what speaks for my character for the
purpose of being hired and representing the entire
country while serving in a branch of the armed forces,
but you know, I've ranted about this for a while, and
I'm finally taking a stand.
The rant I'm referring to is trying to enjoy life
for what it is, rather than to depend solely on
pixels. Yes, the main reason behind it is the
fact that I do it more when I'm in Florida.
There is NOTHING to do here unless you
have money. It sucks to even go outside...
unlike in Colorado where I loved being
outside and could actually enjoy the
weather, you just CAN'T do that here.
You can't even enjoy a walk because
this place is NOT pedestrian friendly.
I haven't had a car in a long time, and I definitely
don't have any money. And besides, even having money,
this place is a damn wasteland that values going out,
shopping, stopping at a restaurant to eat, then going
home to enjoy your new things and to probably spend
the rest of the day inside getting fatter.
That's the only reason I re-activated my FB in FL after I
deactivated it while I still lived in CO - to keep me from
total boredom by talking with people, sharing my opinions,
looking up amusing pictures, and playing the FB games.
Because there is nothing to do here, unlike in CO, where
I could enjoy going for a walk any time of year and there
are plenty of places to go that are enjoyable and don't
cost a damn fortune just to have a decent time.
However, I do need to regain a lot of the self discipline I have
allowed myself to lose along the way. I have thought a lot about
how I entertained myself before I had any use of a computer. I
listened to music, I exercised, and I studied. Every so often
I'd see a friend, and the rest of the time, I was either still
in high school, or I was working. And when I was in the working
world, it was way before FB or even MySpace.
Hell, I didn't even have a cell phone yet.
This was around 2001... before everyone and
their mother and aunt and sister and dog and
goldfish Betty had a fucking cell phone
attached to their heads.
I have to admit, as much as I wanted a cell
phone back then, once I had a cell, then once
I lost it, I felt... free again. Just like any
time I move somewhere, I don't really like the
idea of changing it on a social network for all
to see and pass judgment on... normal life should
not need to be known by all those who can see your
page and feel compelled to comment on it. Every time
I deactivate my FB... I feel a much stronger sense
of freedom.
Anyway, back to what I used to do to entertain myself back then...
Between 2002 and 2004 when I was just working and
before going off to college, I had a bunch of free
games on my computer, and I had music to listen to
and movies to watch, with the occasional time when
I would go clubbing or go somewhere with friends
and take pictures. I had my first vehicle, and to
be honest, one of the things I enjoyed most was
the freedom to go wherever I wanted, whenever I
wanted. When I was bored and feeling claustro-
phobic at home, I would just hop in the truck
and go for a drive. Yes, truck... it was a
Chevy S-10. Not too big, not too small, and
quite handy when moving. Once I turned that
key and put the mix CD in the player (yes, CD
player... this was before everyone and their
daddy and brother and dog and kitty Felix had
an iPod), it didn't matter where I went... I
was just content to go anywhere.
People just don't realize that while technology is
a great tool and gives us so much, we have to be
careful not to enslave ourselves to it. We can
choose not to constantly update our whereabouts,
letting everyone know what we do or how we live.
My eventual goal is, after I pay off what I need to and
can finally join the Navy, I'll be grateful for how much
of my time it will consume, and force me to study and go
back to school and make something of myself. Once I have
most of my life working toward or on my career path, I am
done with the single life. Danielle and I are very happy
with each other and know we can make things work if our
paths can again intertwine. Even if not with her and with
someone else (which I really couldn't imagine), or if it's
best I am alone, I will do all in my power to never again
be trapped to depend on what's online to give value to my
life.
If I have a family, yes, I have to be cliche here, but
I really would look forward to devoting all my time
and efforts to family and work and hobbies. I look
forward to not having to care about a social life
as much as I have.
Besides... most people at my age aren't the friends they used
to be. As we age and more and more people start pairing up
together and begin their lives, the single ones become more
desperate. If they are opposite genders, one will try to
pursue the other to no avail, or they will just shrug and
say "why not" and end up settling down together. If the
friends are the same gender, they will become very cut-
throat and expect you to be their wingman while they try
to get into someone's pants while you're stuck entertaining
their annoying friend, and would rather have just stayed at
home with a good book or otherwise quietly, and pleasantly,
alone.
I really don't even get the point of going to
a bar. It's a place for single people. Unless,
of course, it's one of the more classy bar /
restaurants with a theme, like a 1920's speak
easy, which would then be a nice date spot.
This may also sound cliche and boring, like the South Park
promise ring episode, but honestly, I look forward to when
I settle down and begin a family. To make friends with the
other couples and other families. I look forward to all the
camping trips and maybe helping each other out with a
project or three around the house.
The only thing that I mentioned in my previous entry was
that I hope I never have to worry about some nasty pig
poly group of people who think that just because they're all
together, it's okay to hit on one or both members of another
married couple. It doesn't work that way. Fuck off, and stop
being so disrespectful and thinking everyone wants you or that
you can act like you're single just because of your life-style
sexual choices and freedoms with your partners.
I am all about monogamy.
I don't need or want any more than one.
And this is just my opinion, but almost
every example of a poly couple or other
multiple partner relationship I've seen
are the most selfish people in the world,
not to mention some of the most lonely,
no matter how many they have around.
Either that, or they're doing it to
be trendy.
Anyway... yeah... believe it or not, but I've always loved
the idea of doing fatherly things... such as building a tree
fort for future children, and teaching them about life, and
being a good man to a good woman and mother. Assuming
that my line of work would pay well enough, I would very
much look forward to taking them all on family vacations,
even outside of the country, and gladly paying for them to
visit other countries on their own.
All in all... beyond your 20's, what really is the point of
keeping a social life online? Yes, some of us never do
marry, or we have an online business or whatever have
you, or we use it to reconnect with long lost people we
used to know and maybe meet up with.
Bottom line is, I'm glad I've had my fun and waited to
explore life a bit in my teens and 20's so that I don't
have a mid-life crisis later. I won't feel like I missed
out on anything by knocking up some girl in high school
and being chained down for 18 years. I won't be too busy
to pay attention to my wife because I actually did have a
lot of experiences with women and got to realize what I
really like, want, and need, so I'll be content with my
final choice for marriage material when it does happen.
Let's face it... all those reasons by FAR beat the silly
little idea of having children young just because you
think you're going to be the "cool parent" by growing
up with your kid, or think you'll have the energy for
it while they grow into teenagers and young adults.
It is much better to get youth out of your system,
establish yourself, start building a future, and THEN
figure out settling down and having a family.
I know I'm ready for my future and without the
silly past getting in my way.
Don't get me wrong, I value and appreciate the
strong friendships I have maintained and who
haven't betrayed me. I will probably still keep
in contact with some of them, especially if
they have their own families one day and
we can do things together as families.
But let's face it... friendship really is more for
your younger years and having fun before you
decide to settle down. An online social life may
make it easier to keep in contact, but let's be
real here - as you age, you're supposed to
devote more time to family and the life you
have worked hard to have. You can't have
your cake and eat it too. If you can hold on
to many of your friendships and help each
other out well into older age, hey, congrats.
I'm not trying to be negative and say that
friendship is not worth it by any means, but
that it has its place, and we need to realize
that it will become less important as we all
pursue our own lives. That IS the cycle of
it - live, become as successful as you can,
procreate, live well into old age, be happy
with whatever you do, and pass into the
great beyond.
Anyone who thinks they can beat it
are fooling themselves and need to
remember this : There is no getting
out of life alive :P We have evolved
this way for a reason... and until the
course of evolution takes us to a point
where priorities change, it's best to
just go with the natural flow of things.