This strikes me as a very heartfelt statement from Acheron that one sees less of in the book.
I am wondering what you aimed to do here and whether you feel you succeeded?
It ties in very nicely with one of my prompts but I had not read this when I made my prompt.
Concrit - what would I pick on to mention to you? I would personally enjoy seeing something extra to the book's content, like a small incident to link his feelings to, but if your aim was a picture of his feelings to match his general situation then my comment is not relevant. I mean, pick on one detail and draw it out a little in a sentence or phrase, if that makes sense?
I might would have added that you should have read The Start of Hell (http://sagas-stories.livejournal.com/78047.html) I will write more ficlets in this where you have to follow Ash when he was 'human' or young. So you never know what else ther can come.
I wish almost that the Achern book had been two books the first only until he became who he is, but still about the same pages as the book is now.
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I am wondering what you aimed to do here and whether you feel you succeeded?
It ties in very nicely with one of my prompts but I had not read this when I made my prompt.
Concrit - what would I pick on to mention to you? I would personally enjoy seeing something extra to the book's content, like a small incident to link his feelings to, but if your aim was a picture of his feelings to match his general situation then my comment is not relevant. I mean, pick on one detail and draw it out a little in a sentence or phrase, if that makes sense?
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I wish almost that the Achern book had been two books the first only until he became who he is, but still about the same pages as the book is now.
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