Dear Dad; Get well soon you prick...
My father is not doing well. From reports received from my mother and sister, he has become anxious, paranoid, suspicious, hostile and overall a very, very confused and scared person.
Short version: he's gone fuckin' bonkers.
My parents are getting on in years. And I know that change is inevitable. Sadly, of all the scenarios I had imagined for my folks, this is the worst one. And in some ways the most likely; given good health overall, dementia of some form is pretty common. I can say, at least, that as the onset of my father's mental illness was rather sudden and no one has said either 'dementia' or 'Alzheimer's' in describing what he's going through, I am hopeful that, in time, a balance of meds will be found that will help him manage what he's dealing with.
It is almost just as hard for my mother and sister. God bless my mom; she's been through this herself, and has the patience and understanding to deal with this. Lord grant her the strength, too; this is exhausting her.
Mostly, now, I am sad beyond words. I am not in Ontario with them. There's no point in going; there's nothing I could do. I have a job and obligations here in Calgary; picking up for an extended period would be substantially taxing. Not impossible; just difficult, and it would entail some major sacrifices.
Fuck.
But there's no point. I couldn't add anything positive to the equation. It wouldn't be 'fun' or 'useful' for anyone to have me there. It might even agitate my father more to have a change to his environment. Assuming, of course, that he's not in the hospital by the time I arrive.
Fuck.
I simply don't know what to do. I'm going to try my damnedest to get out there early / mid September. I'm considering driving (to at least give myself some vacation, and to give myself the freedom to stay longer or leave early, depending upon circumstances). I don't know if that's a dumb idea. It's inconvenient in terms of time / money / etc. But it seems wrong to stay away.
Fuck fuck fuck.
I was really hoping to avoid this shit for another 20 years…
Short version: he's gone fuckin' bonkers.
My parents are getting on in years. And I know that change is inevitable. Sadly, of all the scenarios I had imagined for my folks, this is the worst one. And in some ways the most likely; given good health overall, dementia of some form is pretty common. I can say, at least, that as the onset of my father's mental illness was rather sudden and no one has said either 'dementia' or 'Alzheimer's' in describing what he's going through, I am hopeful that, in time, a balance of meds will be found that will help him manage what he's dealing with.
It is almost just as hard for my mother and sister. God bless my mom; she's been through this herself, and has the patience and understanding to deal with this. Lord grant her the strength, too; this is exhausting her.
Mostly, now, I am sad beyond words. I am not in Ontario with them. There's no point in going; there's nothing I could do. I have a job and obligations here in Calgary; picking up for an extended period would be substantially taxing. Not impossible; just difficult, and it would entail some major sacrifices.
Fuck.
But there's no point. I couldn't add anything positive to the equation. It wouldn't be 'fun' or 'useful' for anyone to have me there. It might even agitate my father more to have a change to his environment. Assuming, of course, that he's not in the hospital by the time I arrive.
Fuck.
I simply don't know what to do. I'm going to try my damnedest to get out there early / mid September. I'm considering driving (to at least give myself some vacation, and to give myself the freedom to stay longer or leave early, depending upon circumstances). I don't know if that's a dumb idea. It's inconvenient in terms of time / money / etc. But it seems wrong to stay away.
Fuck fuck fuck.
I was really hoping to avoid this shit for another 20 years…