Writer's regret
Just over a week ago I posted an ad on Craigslist and Kijiji. In a fit of impatience, I whipped the thing off in five minutes on Sunday night. The ad on Craigslist has since been flagged and pulled, but here is the original text:
Date: 2013-04-28 10:52:32
PostID: 3771950967
Title:(cars & trucks - by owner) 1993 Nissan D21 King Cab
Nissan RWD pickup truck. 5 speed manual. Gas. 285K on the clock.
This truck is ugly as fuck. The rear wheel wells are rusting out faster than Stephen Harper's sense of ethics and responsibility. There are dents and scratches on the paint (which is red-ish). The front left side got banged harder than a two-bit Bulgarian prostitute. Left side needs signal and headlights replaced. Yeah. It's dented and crumpled. Remember what I said about the Bulgarian? I didn't say she was young. Or pristine. Oh yeah. There's a crack right across the windshield (which was replaced last year - that last bit pisses me off). It doesn't interfere with vision. Unless you're a midget. So, if you're 4'6" and replying to this ad, don't bitch about the crack in the windshield being at eye level. That will be redundant, and annoying.
The good:
I can't fuckin' kill this truck. It runs forever. I've started it easily in -40 (without using the block heater - which it has - but I don't know if it works....'cuz I've never used it). Last year, I drove it to Vancouver and back (twice). The clutch was replaced last year. It could probably use a new muffler. Two sets of rimmed tires: summer and winter. Hell, it even has a topper (that's also pretty crappy but you're welcome to it). The box has a liner. Regular oil changes (every 5K) for the 3 years I've owned it. It has a CD player. Best of all, it has a Hello Kitty steering wheel cover. No one will ever steal this truck. Hell, it doesn't even look like it runs. And the steering wheel cover makes it look like it's driven by a total pussy (pun intended).
Why would you want this truck? $50 and a couple of hours at pick n' pull will have the light situation sorted. The ugly fucker has a four banger which is great on gas. And it just doesn't want to die.
Why am I selling it? One, I just got a new truck. Same model. 1996. Less ugly. Less rust. And it's green. Two, I don't need two trucks.
Who would want this? Fuck. Who am I, the amazing fucking Reveen? That fucker's dead; he's not buying jack, including this truck. Dunno who would want it. Run a landscaping company and want a shit truck for your employees to drive? Wanna haul hay bales around your bullshit yuppie acreage for your manky dressage horse you bought from an exiled Austro-Hungarian princess? Need to give a voice to your screaming inner redneck, but don't wanna spend too much to do so? WELL THEN HERE'S YOUR FUCKIN' TRUCK!
Cash only. You want pics? I'll post some later. But. Really. Pick. Up. Truck. Ugly. What the fuck more needs to be said?
Location: Calgary, AB
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
The ad went viral. It was picked up by the Huffington Post ( http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/04/30/calgary-craigslist-pickup-truck-funny-ad_n_3188256.html ) and by Auto Blog Canada (http://ca.autoblog.com/2013/05/02/calgary-craigslist-ad-humour-ugly-truck-pc-comedy-prostitute-midget-hello-kitty-steven-harper-prime-minister/ ).
The truck itself sold in less than 48 hours.
However, I am now experiencing what a friend called ‘writer’s regret’.
This ad is really funny. But, in a very non-PC, twisted fashion. And there are some elements about it that get a chuckle that certainly shouldn’t. For example, the line about the Bulgarian prostitute. I cannot imagine how horrific such a life would be. I’ve read a fair bit about how awful human trafficking is. I haven’t experienced it. I hope not to. And it is a fate I would have trouble wishing upon my worst enemy. There’s nothing funny about it.
The line about Stephen Harper? Another cheap shot. Personally, I do believe the man is a bully, manipulative, and a lousy PM who is very quickly destroying hard won legislation that protects and promotes the best interests of the citizens of this country. However, his ethics and politics are not best summed up by a comparison to rusting out wheel wells. Pinochet? Maybe. Wheel wells? Not as accurate.
The list goes on. The liberal use of the word ‘fuck’. Deriding people for their success (yuppies) or size (midgets) or ethnicity (Bulgarians / Austro-Hungarians).
In short, this ad is a PC disaster of the worst kind.
Why did it go viral? The writing is good. The juxtapositions are amusing. As the Autoblog article put it:
The author of this Calgary Craigslist ad smashed several PC formalities while attempting to sell his pickup truck, entwining Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Bulgarian prostitutes, midgets and Hello Kitty into one comedic, somewhat offensive sales effort with NSFW lingo.
Further, the ad was brutally honest. Hell, the title described this as an ‘ugly as fuck’ truck. There aren’t too many ad copy writers who are allowed to get away with that.
But, as to actually why? When there are funnier things out there? When there are things out in the world that are genuinely funny, and don’t take the piss out of maltreated sex trade workers or dwarves? I don’t have an answer for that.
I am currently re-reading J.S. Mill’s “On Liberty”. It is an incredible book. The writing is clear and elegant. And the message is as current and as important (if not more so) now as when it was written over 150 years ago.
This is the kind of writing that people should be reading. Paying attention to. Commenting on. Promoting. Not some shite ad for a POS $500 truck. And certainly not an ad that is vapid and offensive (albeit amusing - if for entirely wrong reasons).
As a final note, I don’t know why the ad was flagged and pulled from Craigslist. Looking at their TOS, while it certainly might qualify as ‘offensive’, from what I’ve seen, people looking at Craigslist seem a fairly tolerant lot. My suspicion is that, true to Harper’s bullying form and discomfort with subtle notions like ‘freedom of expression’, some conservative cronies flagged the ad ‘cuz it painted Harper in an extremely unflattering light, the dimness of the image further enhanced through a humour most unsubtle (a la Hogarth? ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Hogarth ) Well, perhaps not so timeless, but he’s a worthy inspiration nonetheless.).
Thoughts? I'm curious.