Fic: Won't Get Fooled Again (3a/7)
Title: Won't Get Fooled Again
Author(s): safiyabat
Artist: evian-fork
Beta: tumblr user parvasilvi
Characters & Pairing(s): Sam/Cas, brief Sam x Ruby
Rating: M
Word Count: 52,595
Warning(s): Graphic violence, sexual content, mentions of noncon, suicidal tendencies, depression
Summary: Sam and Cas descend into Hell.
Previous Chapter
Sam called Zille and Pete while Ruby called the rest of their allies from the field. Their best plan, everyone agreed, was to go in through the Devil’s Gate in Wyoming, a twenty-seven hour drive from their present location in Vicksburg. Dean would have an absolute cow if he knew that Sam was allowing Ruby to drive the Impala, but Sam would deal with that when they survived the Harrowing. Their allies would not be joining them in Hell, not this time around. Sam knew that he lacked the strength to go against Lilith right now, although he dearly wanted to. This job was about Dean - not so much a fight but an extraction. No, the allies would track the movements of other demons and fight them if need be. Even Ruby would not venture into the Pit this time around. Her cover was still intact and would remain so. The ultimate fight against Lilith would come later.
They booked a motel room for the night when they arrived in town. Sam objected; whatever had spooked Castiel so thoroughly couldn’t be good for his brother. Still, this was going to be his last opportunity for comfort for a while, as Cas explained. “Time does not move in Hell as it does on Earth,” he explained. “It’s different of course depending on where in Hell you are; the Cage is vastly different from the rest of Hell. But in the rest of the Pit an hour is roughly equivalent to five days.”
Sam did the math quickly in his head. “So you’re saying that a month up here is about a decade down there?”
Cas nodded. “We will need to move quickly. You needn’t worry about ageing or anything like that, not physically. I don’t anticipate that we’ll be there that long. But I do not wish to be there any longer than necessary. And you will need to be as well rested as you can be, mentally. This will be very difficult for you, on a number of levels.”
He sighed. “Nothing can be more ‘difficult’ than losing Dean.”
“You never know what’s to come, Sam. Nevertheless, this is a dangerous mission. We don’t know what we’ll find when we get there. We can both be harmed and even killed by demons, and by the human souls on their way to becoming demons.”
He shrugged. “If that happens, your people will send in plan B, right? A garrison of angels to free Dean?”
Cas hesitated. “Yes, they will.”
“All right. If it looks bad, you get yourself out. It’s not even a question, okay? Dean is the priority.”
“Of course.” The angel sighed. “I wish…”
“You wish what?” He looked up from the crudely drawn map Ruby had given them. “You had more backup than me? Because I’ve got to say, I’m kind of wishing there were a few more demon-fighters coming with us on this one myself.” Preferably demon-fighters who actually knew what they were doing, and maybe knew their way around Hell too.
“No.” Cas’ vehemence startled Sam, sent his hair into his face. The angel stepped forward into Sam’s space and hauled him to his feet. “I wish you understood your importance, Sam.”
They were too close, too near to each other. “I’m a weapon, Cas. I’ve always been. It’s okay. It’s time to stop fighting it.”
“No, Sam. You’re so much more.” He leaned forward and claimed Sam’s mouth with his own.
For a moment Sam’s shock paralyzed him. What the Hell did an angel even know about kissing at all? Apparently this one had learned from somewhere, because those full lips definitely had a lot going for them. Sam’s brain and body finally got onto the same page and he brought his hands up to cradle Castiel’s face, chasing after the kiss like it might be the last he ever got. Hey, it might be. And Castiel, well, Cas believed in him, didn’t he? Cas valued him, not his powers, not his family connection, not just his brother. Cas didn’t think he was just demon-blooded trash. Cas was goodness, and light, and was helping him. Cas was pure, and didn’t think that a thing like Sam would sully him.
When Sam risked darting his tongue out to taste the angel’s mouth his partner took it in eagerly. He tasted oddly clean, like rain smelled, and a bit like fresh roses. He couldn’t get enough of the flavor, only breaking the kiss when he started to see stars from lack of oxygen. “Was that your first kiss?” he gasped.
“Yes,” Cas admitted. “Was it adequate?”
“More than,” Sam replied fervently, stifling a chuckle. He didn’t want to ruin the experience by making the guy feel like he was being laughed at, especially when there was no reason for him to feel that way at all.
He frowned. “I found it enjoyable, but it made me unpleasantly warm.”
He had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. “If you wanted to you could take off the trench coat.”
Dark eyebrows drew together. “But what if I continued to grow warm? Would I then need to remove more clothing?”
Sam sobered. This guy hadn’t even had a body three months ago. Maybe he was a natural talent but this was a lot - it was too much. “I wouldn’t ask you to.”
He paused. “And if I wanted to?”
Sam swallowed. “I wouldn’t stop you. If you were sure that’s what you wanted. But I thought angels didn’t…”
“It is not an obligation,” he replied. “There is no… no kind of regulation stating that we cannot enjoy sexual acts if we so choose under most circumstances.” He put his hand on Sam’s chest, gently. “There may not be another opportunity. And I have grown very fond of you, Sam Winchester.”
Sam kissed him this time, gently before letting Cas heat things up at his own pace. The angel did indeed remove his trench coat, and his suit jacket, and his dress shirt, and his shoes and socks. He glowered at Sam’s clothes, which reappeared in a neatly folded pile on a chair in the corner. Sam had not yet discovered a gift for teleportation, so he had to help his partner with his remaining garments. This was okay; it gave him an opportunity to touch, to kiss. Castiel gasped when his lips gently touched his half-hard cock. “Too much?” Sam apologized, backing off.
The angel grabbed his head. “No,” he ground out. “Just… surprising. Pleasant, just… startling.” And indeed, his body did seem to be pretty enthusiastic about even that light touch. “Please…”
Sam smiled. He had something he could offer this divine person, who was about to risk everything for him and for Dean. He guided Cas over to a seat on the bed, mostly for comfort, dropped to the ground and took him into his mouth. It seemed like a small thing to offer, paltry payment for everything he’d done and everything he might yet do, but if the sounds he was already making were anything to go by he certainly seemed to be getting something out of it.
Cas let go of his hair when he finished his release. “I have never experienced anything quite like that,” he said, eyes on Sam as the taller man stood up.
“You’ve had a physical body for all of three months, Cas,” he chuckled. “I wouldn’t imagine so.”
Of course Cas was able to stand up after that. Sam could remember his first orgasm. He’d been unable to move for several minutes, absolutely certain that Ben Taylor had cast some sort of paralysis spell on him and he hadn’t cared one little bit. Cas wasn’t human, though, and he wasn’t whatever kind of trash Sam was. He was an angel, and apparently there wasn’t an Enochian word for “refractory period.” Arms encircled Sam’s waist. “Will you come to bed?”
He raised his eyebrow. “Are you sure you want that, Cas?”
“I’m certain, Sam.” He ran a hand over Sam’s pecs. “I want you to make love to me.”
Sam took a deep breath. “It’s a big step.”
“If not now, when?”
He kissed the angel again and fished the lube out of his duffel. “I’ll make this good for you, Cas,” he promised. And he did. He took his time with prep, making sure not only that Cas was technically ready to accommodate his (admittedly proportional) size but that he thoroughly enjoyed the process and actively begged for more. When he entered his lover finally there was some initial discomfort - that was only natural - but Sam made sure to distract him with plenty of attention and stimulation until he was entirely ready to proceed. He made sure that Cas came first, succumbing to the dual ministration of Sam being able to find his prostate with reasonable accuracy and Sam’s careful attention to the angel’s cock, awake again and throbbing between them until Sam took it in his large hand and gave it the attention it so thoroughly deserved. Only once their chests were sticky with grace-charged cum did Sam allow himself to finish, pumping his own release into the beautiful creature who gazed in awe up at him.
“We should clean up,” Sam offered, rolling off Cas after a moment.
Cas snorted, and they were both as clean as if they had showered. “Angels don’t get dirty, Sam.” He leaned in and kissed Sam thoroughly. “Thank you.”
The hunter blinked. He had put that look on Cas’ face - himself, simply by showing him a good time. He’d given him physical pleasure, hopefully something more. “Thank you, Cas. You’re amazing.”
Cas held him while he fell asleep, and he held Cas. It never even occurred to Sam that the sheets were clean too. In fact, there was no physical evidence that they’d had sex at all.
They woke the next morning and dressed with none of the awkwardness of some first-time mornings after he’d survived. They met Ruby and the others at a diner not too far from the Devil’s Gate. There were a few civilians there and Sam had to wonder - did any of them suspect that they were in fact surrounded by inhuman creatures from Hell? They seemed oblivious, going about their business like today wasn’t any different from any other day. Ruby smirked when they joined her at the table. “Finally,” she muttered, and passed him a plate of eggs.
“Shut up,” he muttered without much heat, cheeks pinking up. “Let’s do this. Everyone know their role?”
“We run distraction,” Zille confirmed, nodding. She stood out here, in rural Wyoming. It didn’t seem to bother her any, but then again if someone gave her any trouble she could rip his heart out of his ribcage and eat it. That probably went a long way toward her willingness to cope with racists. “You and your friend here go in, make the extraction and get out. You’ll let us know when you’re clear.”
“Sam,” Cas said then, “There’s something you need to know. You’ll be in Hell - actual Hell.”
“Yeah, Cas. I’m aware.”
“You can’t exorcise demons if you’re in Hell.” He met Sam’s eyes squarely. “You’ll have to actually kill them.”
Sam frowned. “I… I mean, I can do that with the knife, but then Ruby’s unprotected.”
She sneered. “Aw, chivalry.”
Pete threw a home fry at her. “He’s a prince, not a knight.”
She shrugged. “Meh. Close enough.”
“You can do it readily enough with your mind, Sam. And you’ll need to be able to let yourself really go - shine through as who you really are.” Cas sighed. “No hiding, no holding yourself back. Remember, it’s all for your brother.” He reached out and put his hands over Sam’s. “There is no shame in who you are, in what you are. It’s a fact, pure and simple. We would not have loved each other if there were.”
No one laughed. Whether that was because no one dared or because they actually didn’t think the angel was wrong Sam couldn’t tell. “Yeah. Okay, Cas. You’re right.” He cleared his throat and drank some coffee to hide his discomfort. “Let’s make this happen. Every minute we wait is a longer time Dean has to wait down there, right?”
The three of them drove out to the Devil’s Gate. It had been a long time since Sam had been here and gunned down Jake Talley. Part of him felt bad about that. Most of him did not. The guy had murdered him after all, in front of Dean. The guy had driven Dean to make that idiotic deal. The guy had thrown his lot in with Azazel. The ground had absorbed the bloodstains now. And this was the place that had seen his father escape Hell, dismissing him with nothing but a cold nod. He felt his hands shaking. He didn’t need John Winchester’s approval. He never had. It would have been nice to have, sure, but the time for that was long gone. He’d have been disgusted by what Sam had become, but Sam had an angel of the Lord that believed in him and loved - well, approved of him, didn’t condemn him. “Whatever happened to my father’s soul?” he asked as they stared at the mausoleum that held the Gate.
“I’m not certain,” Cas told him. “He escaped Hell, but Heaven was barred to him.”
Sam snorted. So much for John’s self-image. “Okay. Well, here goes nothing I guess.” He paused. “Wait a minute. We don’t have the colt. How are we supposed to do this?”
“You’ve awakened enough of your nature, and the seal on the gate was broken once already. The combination of factors should be sufficient. Just relax, open your mind and bid the gate to open.”
Bid the gate to open. Right. This was no fairy tale. If anything his life was more of a dark fantasy or horror story than anything else. Still, the angel hadn’t steered him wrong yet. He closed his eyes and forced himself to relax as much as he could, remembering that night in the field when he and Dean had set off the fireworks and almost burned it down. He remembered last night, the feeling of being buried in an angel’s body and surrounded by an angel’s love. Castiel believed in him; he could do this. Open. He didn’t speak the word, just held out his hand and thought it. For half a second there was nothing, and then the doors slowly swung open.
Beyond them was fire, and sulfur, and the screams of the damned. It was impossible to differentiate one shriek from the next. “We must be off,” Cas told him, taking his hand. “It will be okay, Sam.”
They entered Hell together. Nothing could have stopped Sam’s heart from speeding up, his lungs from gasping for the super-heated air. This was Hell. He’d known that this was his final destination since he was old enough to understand the idea of death, even though he’d fought against it just as long, and here he was. He was going to burn, he was going to fry in the lake of fire and this was final, nothing to be done. It was nothing less than he deserved of course, what with letting Dean die like that and being what he was but still, anyone would have panicked. He felt the scream starting to well up in his throat and he bit down on his lip to hold it back. Once he started screaming he would never stop. No one did, not until they became a demon and he was halfway there already, wasn’t he?
Cas kissed the blood on his lip away. “Be calm,’ he whispered. “Remember, you are here because you can be. No other living man could walk here. You are as much of this place as you are of earth. Do not be afraid, Sam.”
His heart slowed. Down here he could see Cas’ wings, the outline of his true form against the shadows of the cavern. He exhaled and straightened up. There was no use in slouching here, no sense in trying to appear smaller than he was. He was here on a mission, with an angel at his side. He would succeed or die trying and that was simply all there was to it. “Thanks, Cas.”
They encountered no real resistance in the first day. He felt a few tentative brushes against his mind from the shadows but they weren’t even sentient, not really. He couldn’t call them real demons, more like demonic spirits - like the daevas, he supposed. Hell, as near as Sam could tell, appeared to be a massive prison. There were cages all around, and the cages were filled with people who screamed. They walked a path that sloped downward, which only made sense. After all, weren’t the deepest, lowest parts of the Pit reserved for the worst offenders?
“You’ve been reading too much Dante,” Cas informed him when he commented on this fact. “Each person perceives Hell differently, although I believe it is different for you because you are not a prisoner. You’re... well, in a very real sense you’re imposing your own will over reality down here without actually knowing it. It’s something I didn’t expect of you, not entirely, but I should not be surprised when I consider whose blood runs in your veins.” He smiled gently.
“What about all of these people, Cas?” He glanced into one of the cages and shuddered away from the scene inside. “Can we help them?”
“They’re damned souls, Sam. What would you do with them?” He shook his head gently. “There isn’t anyplace for them. This is the fate that they earned.”
They walked on. After the second day Sam noticed that he wasn’t getting tired. He wasn’t getting hungry, either. Maybe it was because his body was still attuned to earth time. Maybe it was because the demonic side of his nature had precedence here, and demons didn’t sleep or eat unless they wanted to. He didn’t ask about that, because he was pretty sure he didn’t want to know at the end of the day. It didn’t matter, it just meant less time he had to spend doing insignificant crap and more time that he got to spend working for Dean.
Next