Fic and Art: After All This Time (J2DG)
Title: After All This Time
Author: safiyabat
Artist: vilabelle
Pairing: J2, Gen/Danneel, Jared/Stephen, J2DG
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 7,273
Warnings: Internalized homophobia, het sex, Chad
Prompt: Kinky Neighbors: The Mitchells and the Harts have been next door neighbors and friends for the past year. They have loads in common; double incomes, professional careers, no kids...and a kinky streak.
Now they're about to become very good friends...with kinky benefits.
The sex between them all is hot, naughty, and unbearably exciting. It isn't merely swapping partners and moving to another room; it's true foursome sex, same room, same bed, all four involved. For Drew and Cat Mitchell and Logan and Alexis Hart, it's about barreling through boundaries none of them have ever crossed before, doing kinky things they've only fantasized about. But when they begin to exchange not just sex but emotional connection, the problems start; a little jealousy, feeling left out, wanting more from the wrong partner. Can two couples really share everything without losing it all?
Summary Jensen's a pretty happy guy. He's happily married to his hometown sweetheart, Danneel, and he's got a thriving law practice in Austin. He lives next door to his lifelong best friend, Jared, who is married to his and Danneel's girlfriend, Gen. When Danneel and Gen suggest bringing Jared into the bedroom, though, things get weird. Jensen thought Jared had gotten over his schoolboy crush on Jensen, but it turns out that Jared isn't the only one with lingering feelings.
I.
Jensen wrapped his arms around Danneel’s waist and nuzzled into her neck. “Happy, sweetie?” He loved the smell of her today. He could pick up the chlorine from the pool, the white wine she’d been drinking, and the sunblock she’d kept putting on all day. If he tried, he could probably smell Gen’s shampoo in Danneel’s hair, or Jared’s vaguely piney scent clinging to her skin.
That shouldn’t excite him. And it didn’t. Jensen wasn’t into guys. The fact that he could share the most intimate parts of his life with the best friend he’d known since he was four, on the other hand, that was gold. Jensen just couldn’t be excited by the knowledge that his wife smelled like Jared because she’d snuck off to romp with the giant tech mogul before guests got there, or by the fact that if he kissed into her mouth he could probably taste Jared there.
“Ecstatic,” she told him. “I’m so glad that we were able to get the place next door to Jared and Gen, you know? It makes everything so much better.”
Jensen didn’t need words. He gave a happy little hum into his wife’s ear instead. He’d been lucky to find someone that understood him so well - understood him and Jared so well, he should say. “I’m glad we waited to do the housewarming until we’d gotten the landscaping set up.” He kissed her cheek. “It’s a lot more obvious that the whole place is useable this way, not just our half.”
Danneel snorted. “It does kind of make it look more like a compound, doesn’t it?"
Jensen waved a hand. “It’s Texas. We’re allowed.”
She turned around, so their lips were almost touching. They’d been together for so long that the closeness of her body like this shouldn’t still get him all hot and bothered, but he couldn’t help it. Danneel was perfect. “Gen and I were wondering if you wouldn’t mind having Jared come by tonight. Having a good night, you know, the four of us.”
Jensen swallowed hard. Getting hot and bothered because he knew that Jared’s huge hands had been all over Danneel only a few hours ago was one thing. The thought of having those hands only a few inches from his own was something else. “Tonight?” It wasn’t that he objected to having Gen over. Not at all. Danneel and Gen had met about a year after Jensen and Danneel had married, when they’d met in a book club for women’s erotica. Jensen enjoyed his wife’s girlfriend, and enjoyed the time that they spent together as a trio. He liked the fact that his wife slept over with Jared and Gen, too.
Making it a foursome? That was something else.
They’d talked about it in passing. Jensen had mostly thought that she was joking.
Danneel trailed her finger down the side of his face. “If you don’t want to you don’t have to. It’s okay, Jensen.”
His breath hitched in his chest. His heart was thudding against his ribs, like he’d just run a marathon. “No no. If it’s what you want I’m all for it. I just - is Jared going to be okay with it?”
Danneel grinned. “I think he’ll do whatever Gen wants him to. Besides, he likes guys, remember?”
Jensen took a step back. “Yeah, but I don’t. I don’t want him thinking we’re going into this and we’re going to -“
Danneel put a hand on his chest and laughed. “Oh come on, Jensen. You don’t still think he’s in love with you? That was high school.”
It had been high school. Jensen and Jared had been best friends since grade school, and they and Danneel had planned to go to UT San Antonio together. At the last minute - well, two weeks before graduation - Jared had told Jensen that he was off to UT Austin instead, on a full ride. Jensen had been pissed, which led to Jared’s second big confession of the night.
Jared had gone after the Austin scholarship specifically to get away from Jensen. Not because he didn’t like Jensen anymore or anything like that, but because he liked him too much. “I’m bisexual,” he told Jensen. “And I’m in love with you. And I get that you’re straight and can’t love me back, not the way that I mean. So I’m going off to Austin, because I think what I need to get better from this is to be around some other people who also like guys. Maybe meet someone, who knows. But you’re my best friend, and I don’t want to risk losing that because I keep moping around. So I’m going to go and try to get over it, and you’re going to go to San Antonio and do a great job there.”
It had just about broken Jensen’s heart, largely because Jared was right. Sure, Jared was hot for a guy, if you were going to look, but Jensen wasn’t attracted to guys. He couldn’t be attracted to guys. He was dating Danneel, who he loved and was going to marry. He was on the football team. Those guys would eat him alive if he were gay or bi or whatever. Even if Jared was the single most important person in the world.
It hurt, though, that Jared was leaving him - not just leaving for school, but leaving Jensen, and had been planning to leave Jensen for a while. It hurt, too, that the most important person in Jensen’s life thought of being in love as a sickness to be gotten over instead of something to be celebrated and enjoyed. But what could he do? He physically couldn’t give Jared what he wanted, and Jared wasn’t even asking him to.
All of that had been years ago, though. Danneel was right. Jared hadn’t mentioned his schoolboy crush since that night right before graduation. They’d picked up their friendship right where they’d left off after graduation, when Danneel and Jensen had gotten married and moved up to Austin. Jared was married now, to Genevieve. Sure their relationship was open, in ways that were different from the way that Jensen and Danneel’s relationship was open, but there was no way that Jared had any thoughts like that about Jensen anymore. “You’re right,” he said to Danneel. “Sorry. That was stupid. Anything the two of you cook up will be just fine with me and Jared.”
She grinned and kissed him. “I know, baby. It’ll be great.” Then she returned to the party.
The party wound down around ten. Part of Jensen mourned for that. At some point they’d all become responsible adults and Jensen missed the wilder days of youth. At the same time, the party had been going all day, and he only felt like he could be expected to entertain for so many hours. Chad was the last one to leave, with a baleful glare at Jensen and Danneel. “I don’t like it,” he said, wagging a finger at them. “Should’ve stayed in San Antonio ‘n left him alone. But whatever.” And he skulked out into the night, carrying a bowl of Cheetos with him.
“Wasn’t that our bowl?” Danneel asked.
“I think it was,” Jensen nodded. “But we didn’t supply Cheetos. Whatever. It’s Chad.”
Danneel sighed. “He doesn’t like us much, does he?”
“It’s Chad,” Jensen said again. “I think the only thing he does like is Jared. And sometimes I’m not even sure about him. Come on, let’s get the cleanup started.”
They didn’t work too hard at cleaning up, just brought in whatever shouldn’t be left out and left the rest for tomorrow. Once they’d done what they couldn’t put off, they went to shower and get ready for their big night.
Jensen sat in a chair in the master bedroom, foot tapping while he tried not to chew on his fingernails. He shouldn’t be this nervous. He knew that he could trust Jared not to go too far, not to even look at him, so why should he be so uptight and jittery? It was just sex, for crying out loud. He’d had sex plenty of times, with both Gen and Danneel.
Danneel slipped into a black lace teddy. “It’s going to be fun, Jensen. Don’t worry about it.”
“I know.” He smiled at his wife and tried to relax, but he still jumped when her phone buzzed.
“It’s Gen,” she said, checking the screen. “They’re on their way over.”
Jensen blew out a long, steady stream of air. It was show time. There was no getting out of this now. And just between him and the wall, he didn’t want to.
Jared and Gen both had keys to the house, and they let themselves in now. Genevieve was the first to walk into the master suite, dragging Jared in by the hand. Jared’s eyes refused to settle on any one place in the room, and he was biting his lip hard enough that it looked like it hurt. Jared was nervous, Jensen realized. Jared was uncomfortable.
“I think both of our guys are a little out of their element,” Danneel suggested, walking over to Gen and helping her off with her shirt.
Underneath her jeans and tee shirt, Gen wore a pretty, white lace bra that set off her dark skin and hair to perfect advantage. Jensen’s cock twitched in his pants. “I think you’re probably right,” Gen told her. “It doesn’t have to be weird though.”
Jensen tried to meet Jared’s eyes, but Jared wouldn’t look directly at him. What part of this wasn’t weird? “It’s a little different,” Jensen admitted, putting as much calm into his voice as he could. “If it’s what y’all want to do, though, I’m game.” He stepped forward and carded his hands through Gen’s long, dark hair. “I mean no one has to touch anyone they don’t want to.”
Jared turned his head away. “Yeah. Should be okay, right?”
Danneel walked over to Jared and cupped his face in her hands. “Come on, Jared. Like this is your first group sex experience.”
Jensen almost froze in his tracks. The image of Jared in the middle of a group of writhing, naked bodies appeared before his eyes and would not leave.
Jared gave a little laugh. Jensen didn’t know how to describe it, except that it hopped the line between bitter and dirty and back again. “No. It’s not.” He let Danneel kiss him then, and let her strip his shirts from his body.
Jared didn’t want to be here.
Jensen couldn’t shake that knowledge. He knew that Jared was willing to play with Gen and Danneel, so his best friend’s discomfiture could only have one source. It was Jensen. Jared didn’t want to be here because of Jensen.
Well, of course he didn’t. Jared had been very careful his entire life to keep the details of his own sex life away from Jensen, because he knew that Jensen was straight and he didn’t want Jensen to be uncomfortable. For example, Jensen hadn’t known that Jared was into group sex outside of their little unit there, and that kind of bothered him. Jared was there because his wife wanted him there, and because he believed that Danneel and Jensen wanted him there, but he wasn’t there for his own entertainment.
Jensen had to show him that it was okay. He had to make it right. He kissed Gen, licking into her mouth like he had something to prove.
They hadn’t talked about how this was going to work, at least not among the four of them. Apparently their wives had, because instead of playing with one another Gen focused on Jensen and Danneel focused on Jared. That was fine; less opportunities to make one another uncomfortable for the men that way.
Jensen knew exactly how to get Gen hot. They’d been doing this for years, after all, longer than Gen and Jared had been together. He knew exactly when to nibble his way down her neck, and just when to pick her up and carry her over to the oversized bed that dominated their bedroom. He knew how much pressure to use when he pinched her nipples, just how much was enough to give pleasure and how much would cross the line.
He was a little worried about how Jared and Danneel would fare. After all, Danneel and Jensen had been together since high school, whereas Jared only occasionally played with Danneel at all and even then only in the past few years. When he lifted his eyes to check, though, Jensen could see that his wife wasn’t having any problems at all.
Danneel had gotten Jared to sit down on the end of the bed. She’d gotten his shirts off, and now she straddled him. Her head was thrown back as Jared sucked on her left breast, and she gripped his biceps like she was holding on for life.
Jensen had seen Jared without his shirt on plenty of times. Jared had been in his pool only today, and the Austin heat made running without a shirt a practical option for a sweaty guy like Jared. Jensen had always been comfortable enough in himself to admit that Jared had a nice body, but that was an objective observation. That wasn’t right next to him in a bed, being straddled by Jensen’s wife. That wasn’t in a sexual context, in a way that Jensen could easily just reach out and enjoy.
Enjoy?
Jensen tried to focus on Gen. Gen, who was amazing. Gen, who let him move his face down her body and taste her. No guy would taste like this. No guy would feel like this either. Jensen poured everything he had into eating Gen, into making her come and wallowing in the taste and smell of her. He loved this, going down on women. Some guys wouldn’t do it but for Jensen, this was a favorite part of the experience.
Beside him, Danneel’s soft cries told him that she was getting something that she wanted for herself, too. He took a breath from his attentions to Gen to see Jared lying on his back and Danneel riding his face like there was no tomorrow. He had his hands on her hips, but that seemed to be more of a way to guide her than any kind of control.
Jensen couldn’t help but be struck by the long, beautiful lines of Jared’s body. When they’d been kids, Jared had been skinny and gawky. Now Jared looked like some kind of god. His muscles were perfectly sculpted, and how Danneel could avoid running her tongue down the ridges of his abs would forever be one of the mysteries for the ages. She was a stronger person than Jensen, that was for sure.
Wait, what?
“I need you in me,” Gen told Jensen. There was no way that she hadn’t seen Jensen’s eyes wander, but she didn’t complain. She just smirked and winked.
Had this been her plan the whole time, hers and Danneel’s? And if so, had Jared been in on it?
Jensen couldn’t think about that right now. His cock was so hard that it hurt, and when Gen pressed the condom into his hand he checked it and rolled it over himself without a second thought. She was wet and relaxed and ready for him as she hooked her heels over his shoulders. He lined himself up and sank himself home.
She cried out when he entered her and he grinned. He’d always liked this. He set up a good rhythm, not too harsh but the kind of intensity that he knew Gen liked, and snaked a hand in between them to find her clit. She cried out loud as her pleasure built, bringing Jensen along with her.
Beside them, Danneel yelled as her own orgasm neared. Jensen didn’t look, didn’t dare, but he blindly reached out with one hand to give some kind of connection. He connected with hot flesh and he squeezed, and he got a squeeze back before he realized that the hand with which he’d connected was far too large to belong to his wife.
He’d just grabbed another man’s hand during sex. Not just another man’s, but Jared’s.
His balls tightened and he came harder than he’d ever come in his life, groaning as he spilled his release into the condom. Next to him, he heard Jared lose whatever rhythm had been going as Danneel hollered. They were done too.
Both couples lay panting for a moment, and then Jared pulled his hand back so he could pull out and dispose of his condom. Jensen did the same. He didn’t look at Jared. He didn’t want it to be weird. It didn’t have to be, after all.
It was just sex.
Jared cleaned himself up first and then staggered back to the bed. When Jensen finished cleaning himself up, he came back to find Jared playing big spoon to both Danneel and Gen, because his Gigantor arms let him do that. He could probably manage to hold Jensen too, if it came to that.
Not that Jensen could let him.
He slipped into the bed and tried to find some way of holding onto their wives that didn’t involve making physical contact with Jared, because that would be weird. Fortunately, both Danneel and Gen seemed to be content to let him flail around in his momentary gay panic, and Jared was apparently the kind of guy who fell asleep as soon as he was done because he didn’t seem to notice at all.
“That was pretty good,” Jensen whispered to Danneel and Gen. “I thought it would be weird, but it was nice.”
Gen glared at him, but she still had a smile on her face. “He’ll hear you, moron.”
“He’s fast asleep, he’s fine.” He kissed her and then Danneel before he, too, fell asleep.
He woke up an hour later to find Jared gone.
Danneel hadn’t woken up when he left, and neither had Gen. His clothes were gone, though, and a quick check out the window proved that he’d just gone home. Gen texted him, and he told her that he’d gotten a work message hat he had to take care of right away.
Both Danneel and Jensen were inclined to accept that at face value. Gen wasn’t so sure. “He turned his phone off for the night, guys,” she told them with a sigh. “I wonder if we didn’t maybe make a mistake.”
“How do you mean?” Jensen yawned. Part of him was ready to go another round, but most of him just wanted to go back to sleep.
She glanced at Jensen. “I mean that Jared was kind of uncomfortable with this and I pushed him into it. I thought it would be good for him. We share everything else, you know? But - meh. Maybe not.”
“He’ll be fine.” Jensen glanced out the window at the single light burning over at the Padaleckis’ house. “He’s a big guy, he can handle himself.”
That single light mocked Jensen’s words, but he forced himself to be cheerful. Jared was an adult, and he’d said yes to everything that had happened. Which was nothing - they’d brushed hands, for crying out loud. Nothing to get upset about.
II.
Jensen didn’t see much of Jared for the next week or so. Well, he saw Jared. He saw Jared from his windows, as Jared went for a morning run or as Jared poked at his dinner on their back deck. He got a few random tweets from Jared’s personal account, but they weren’t anything personal. They were just bad science jokes that required extra coffee for Jensen to wrap his head around the punch line.
Gen didn’t come over much during that week. Danneel went over to the Padaleckis’ place sometimes, but Gen seemed reluctant to come over to the house. After a week went by, Jensen finally cornered his wife about it.
“Okay,” she sighed. “So Jared’s a little freaked out, but we’re working on him. Don’t worry about it, he’s coming around, it’s not a big deal.”
“It is a big deal if my best friend’s turning into a hermit,” Jensen snapped. “I didn’t move us up here from San Antonio, and get a place next door to him, so he could lock himself in his office and pretend we don’t live here!”
Danneel ran her fingers through his hair. “I know. It’s just… well, he wasn’t expecting it when you grabbed his hand, and he thinks you’re mad at him.”
Jensen thought about that for a second. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
She held up her hands. “Look, it’s the truth. It’s not like you’ve reached out to him since then, right?”
“I was giving him his space!” Jensen rubbed his face. “Which was probably dumb of me.” He sent Jared a text. “Let’s go out and grab some beers tomorrow night.” Their wives were already planning to get together, so it would be a good opportunity to go hang out and just be buddies again.
Jared took ten minutes to reply. “Okay, sounds good.”
He didn’t sound nervous. Then again, a text never did.
Of course, it turned out to not be just the two of them when it came right down to it. Jensen’s client and friend, country singer Chris Kane, wanted to come out and catch up a little bit. Then Jared told him that Chad would be coming too, which made Jensen cringe but whatever. He’d get over it. Chris had survived a few encounters of the Chad kind before, and had only tried to punt him once.
They all met up at Riley’s. Riley’s was a laid-back beer hall down on Sixth Street. If Chad wanted to get rowdy later, he could go someplace else, but Riley’s wasn’t that kind of place. It was a chill place, for hanging out and relaxing, and being a damn adult.
Okay, maybe Jensen was kind of taking things out on Chad a little bit. He’d never liked Chad, and only half of it was because Jensen couldn’t quite tell if Chad was a human or a fungus.
Chad had been assigned as Jared’s roommate during his freshman year at Austin. He was a part of Jared’s life that Jensen could never share, and Jensen wasn’t too proud to admit to himself and his beer that he hated Chad for it. Chad wasn’t just Jared’s old roommate; he was his big gay friend who could go do big gay things with him. They weren’t dating; Jensen couldn’t imagine Jared and Chad meshing that way. But Chad got to know all about that side of Jared, the people Jared dated and the pride parades and whatever. All of the things, in short, that Jensen would never be part of.
And Chad had this weird kind of protective thing about Jared, too. He was like a guard beagle, not able to do much but always snapping his teeth in Jensen’s face. Like Jensen would ever hurt Jared.
Jensen got to Riley’s early, meeting up with Chris to go over Chris’ new contract with the record company. Jared and Chad arrived exactly on time, which mean that Jared must have told Chad that they needed to be there two hours before their actual meet-up time. Jared looked good. He wore jeans that actually fit him for once, and a black and white button-up left loose to reveal the black V-neck underneath. Jared’s neck was shown to advantage that way, long and perfect for Jensen to nibble his way down -
Okay, what the fuck?
Jensen shook his head to clear it, which failed spectacularly when Jared threw his head back and laughed at a joke that Chad had just told him. Thank God for the bar. Thank God Jensen was sitting at the bar, and thank God Chris would never look for this kind of thing, because Jensen absolutely hadn’t just gotten hard from the sight of Jared’s long, tanned neck and megawatt smile. He hadn’t.
Maybe Jensen was coming down with something. He’d have to hit WebMD later and see if there was some kind of flu virus that came with inappropriate erections, because Jensen Ackles was not attracted to men.
He drained half of his beer in one gulp. “Hey, are you okay?” Chris asked.
“Never better,” Jensen lied. Chris didn’t buy it, Jensen could see it in his eyes, but he didn’t call Jensen on it either and that was what mattered.
Jared and Chad joined them, and they grabbed a booth rather than staying at the bar.
Jensen barely heard anything anyone said for the whole night. He tried to fake it, and to keep up with whatever the others were talking about, but he didn’t know if he was fooling anyone. He definitely wasn’t fooling Chad, who just smirked at him and pointed out to Jared that some guy named Stephen was going to be in Austin next week. Maybe they should get together.
And then - then! - Jared looked interested. “Is Amell really coming down here? It’ll be good to see him. Been a while.”
“Yeah, he reached out to me the night of that housewarming party.” Chad gave Jensen a shit-eating grin. “Specifically asked about you, there, Jare-Bear.”
Jared rolled his eyes at the nickname. “Okay. I mean sure it’ll be good to see him again but it’s been a while, you know?” He flicked those amazing eyes of his over to Jensen for a quick second and then changed the subject, and Jensen understood. Stephen was an old flame, a former partner, whatever.
Which was fine. Jensen knew that Jared had his own outside partners. That was part of what had drawn him and Gen together in the first place: they both wanted an open relationship. And it was none of Jensen’s business, except for the part where he wanted to hunt this Stephen guy down and put his head on a pike or something.
What was with him tonight?
He got through the rest of the evening on autopilot. When the time came to split for the night, Jared drove Jensen home, on the grounds that he had stopped drinking early on and Jensen had not. When they got back to their neighborhood, it was quickly apparent that Gen and Danneel were firmly ensconced at the Ackles residence and didn’t need the men along, thank you very much, so Jared invited Jensen to come over for a little while.
Jensen squirmed. He shouldn’t do this. He wasn’t exactly drunk but he wasn’t exactly sober either, and he’d been drooling over Jared all night, and maybe he should just go sleep it off by the pool or something. But that would be weird. Things weren’t supposed to get weird after swinging.
“Thanks, man.”
Jared found him a pair of sweats and a tee shirt and showed him to one of the guest rooms. Jensen didn’t need the escort; he’d crashed here any number of times before. Still, he didn’t say anything because it was easier than talking. Jensen was terrified of blurting out something weird or inappropriate. Because it didn’t get more inappropriate than, “I accidentally grabbed your hand during sex with your wife and now I can’t stop thinking about putting my hands on you.”
They made small talk for a little while, and then Jared got up and went to bed. Jensen longed to join him, but he stayed back.
The next day he went to Danneel and told her that he didn’t think that getting the four of them together, sexually, was a great idea anymore. She got very still, but she heard him out and let him get his words out. Then she turned around and raised an eyebrow. “Okay, I know that Gen and I kind of pushed you guys into it, but you seemed willing at the time and I know you had a good time.” Her face softened and she stroked his cheek. “Can you maybe explain to me why you don’t want to do that anymore? So I can wrap my head around it?”
Jensen sighed. “It just got weird, you know? I mean it was fine when it was just the three of us, but with Jared it’s different.”
“Are you finally ready to accept your attraction to Jared?” She grinned.
Jensen thought he might be having a heart attack. “I’m not attracted to Jared! He’s a dude!”
She put a hand on his arm. “Come on, Jensen. I’ve known you both for decades. I’ve seen the way you look at him, the way you watch him. It didn’t just start last week. Gen and I figured that maybe you were finally ready to accept that about yourself.”
Jensen’s whole body felt cold. “I’m not attracted to him. I’m not attracted to men.” He shook her arm off. “I can’t be attracted to men, Danneel. You know that. You know what would happen. I’d lose clients, I’d lose my family -“
She sighed. “Your family’s changed over the years, Jensen. But obviously we made a mistake. Fine. We won’t do that anymore.”
Jensen relaxed. Everything could just go back to the way they had been.
Except it didn’t. Gen started coming over more and more, leaving Jared at home, and there was worry in her dark eyes. “He’s shutting me out,” she told them. “I think he’s upset about the whole… thing…” She grimaced. “I don’t know. Maybe this Stephen guy will be good for him.” She rubbed at her temples. “I don’t know. I was just kind of hoping… I mean I know that he doesn’t necessarily like to go outside the marriage, you know? I guess I was hoping that expanding playtime would give him enough of what he wanted that he wouldn’t need to do that anymore.” She held up her hands. “Not that I mind, it was part of the agreement, but he doesn’t want to. So.”
Jensen shook his head. “I could have told you that it wasn’t going to work like that, Gen. I can’t be what he wants.”
Gen glared daggers at him. “Oh, I know it. Don’t you think for one minute that I don’t know exactly why you pushed me at him in the first place, Jensen Ackles. Or that he doesn’t, either.”
Jensen choked on his beer. “It wasn’t like that,” he spluttered. It hadn’t been.
“It was exactly like that,” Danneel said, taking Gen’s hand. “We thought we were being helpful. And you do love him.”
“We do love each other,” Gen said, her dark hair falling into her face. “We’re in love, don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t be having this conversation if I didn’t love him and want him to be happy, you know? I just don’t know what to do.”
Jensen didn’t like that Gen was talking about this Stephen guy in those kinds of terms. He knew that Jared sometimes sought out men for sex, didn’t want the details, but those were all casual affairs. When he’d gotten together with Gen, with Danneel’s girlfriend, they were supposed to be restricted to casual things.
Crap. He had done it, hadn’t he? He and Danneel had deliberately set Jared and Gen up with the intention of keeping Jared within their orbit. Jensen hadn’t even done it consciously. Jared had run off to Austin to try to put some distance between them, to try to get over being in love with Jensen, and Jensen had chased him down and set him up with a woman who was part of Jensen’s own little family and done everything in his power to keep Jared right where he belonged, at Jensen’s side, just without the sex.
When this Stephen guy showed up, Jensen wanted to punch him in the face right off the bat. Stephen was another tech guy, just like Jared. He was into fitness, just like Jared, and the first time that Jensen looked out his window and saw the two of them running around out there without their shirts on Jensen wanted to throw up. Jared was probably washing his clothes on Ste-fan’s abs. Or Ste-fan was probably washing his clothes on Jared’s. They could compare notes on muscles and workouts and whatever.
Jensen remembered Jared when he’d been short, for crying out loud. Jensen remembered Jared when Jared had studied ballet.
To make matters worse, Jared gradually faded from the house. Gen was already at the Ackles’ place more often, but now Jared just wasn’t coming home. “He’s staying down at Stephen’s hotel,” Gen told them with a toss of her hair. “He sent me a pic last night.”
“Does he usually send you pictures of him with his guys?” Jensen growled.
“No.” Gen rolled her eyes. “But I send him pics of me with Danneel or me and you all the time.”
Jensen barely made it to the bathroom in time to be sick.
“Dude, what’s wrong?” Gen asked him when he returned. “What’s wrong with it? It’s nothing that we don’t do.”
“But that’s us!” Jensen complained. “Us! Not… not this guy. He’s freaking Canadian! From Toronto! They have hockey there!”
Danneel put her hands on Jensen’s shoulders. “I know. But Jensen, he’s having a good time and it’s not like Stephen’s going to be around forever. Why don’t you want him to have this? It’s like you’re jealous.”
Of course Jensen was jealous. He just couldn’t articulate it to his wife. He couldn’t articulate it to anyone. If he’d been able to say something to anyone, none of this would have happened and Jared would be right by Jensen’s side where he belonged.
Two weeks after Stephen got to Austin, everyone decided to get together at the Padalecki place for drinks. Jensen had been left out of the planning process, because he didn’t want to be involved with anything that had anything to do with freaking Stephen, but Danneel basically dragged him over there by his ear and he sat in a corner and grumped all night.
Jared looked happy. That was the thing that got to Jensen. Jared had a sparkle in his eyes and a spring in his step that had been missing for a while, and that hurt to see. He and Stephen weren’t overt, but they had an ease and familiarity with one another that turned Jensen’s stomach.
Chad was there. Chad was always there, his little Chad-spores had gotten into the carpeting or something, and he just sat back and watched with a smirk. He didn’t seem all that fond of Stephen, but he needled Jensen about it in ways that had even Genevieve telling Chad to go cool off somewhere.
Jensen did his best to try to avoid being in the same space as Stephen, but toward the end of the evening he went to get some water from the fridge and Stephen followed him. Great, Jensen thought to himself. Just what I always wanted.
Stephen shook his hand. “I’m really glad that I finally got to meet you,” he told Jensen. “I heard so much about you, you know?”
“Did you now.” Jensen grabbed a glass off the shelf.
“Oh yeah. Back in college. Jared and I had a thing, you know? Oh, we were together for about a year, before graduation. I tried to get him to come to Toronto with me, but he wasn’t ready to make that jump.” He hung his head and chuckled. “Still in love with someone else. The mysterious Jensen. Very tragic, of course.”
“He’s over it.” Jensen hated Stephen. He hated his abs, hated his stupid high-pitched voice, hated his broad grin. He hated Canada, because that was where Stephen came from. He even hated maple syrup.
“I’ll say.” Stephen winked. “I’m going to try to get him to come back to Toronto with me. Canada’s got favorable tax incentives for his type of company if they relocate, and we’ve definitely got the same kind of chemistry we did all those years ago.”
Jensen shook his head. “You do get that he’s married.”
“Details.” Stephen waved a hand. “Gen seems like a sweet girl. She can come if she wants, but she’s barely looked at him since I’ve been here. I don’t think that she’ll mind.” He winked at Jensen and walked out.
Jensen’s jaw dropped and he gaped at Stephen’s retreating back.
III.
The entire world was spinning, and Jensen’s head was spinning in the opposite direction. He didn’t know what to say or do. His breath came in harsh pants as he struggled to keep his dinner in his gullet.
He fled. It was all that he could do. He didn’t tell Danneel, and he didn’t tell Gen. Maybe nothing would come of it. Maybe Jared would see reason, get over this whole Ste-fan phase, and they’d keep going on the way they had before.
He didn’t go over to Jared’s to talk about it. Jared wasn’t there anyway. He didn’t reach out to Jared either, because that would mean acknowledging the possibility of Jared leaving.
It would mean acknowledging that Jensen was jealous.
Three days later, Gen came over to the house in tears. “He’s leaving.”
“He’s what?” Danneel dropped the dish she’d been putting away and turned to her. “Jared’s leaving?”
Jensen let out a scream. “He can’t! He can’t leave!”
“He says that he’s got to get away, got to…” Gen dabbed at her eyes. “We made a horrible mistake. We should never have pushed.”
Jensen stood up. “Where is he now?” His mouth was dry, his hands were numb, but he had to do this. He had to fix this.
“He’s packing up some of his things. He’s at the house right now. Jen, he doesn’t want to see you.”
“Well he’s going to.”
Jensen walked over to the Padalecki house. Jared was there, packing up a few of his shirts, and he flinched when Jensen walked into the room. “Jensen.” He hung his head, hiding his face with his hair. “What are you doing here?”
“You got a problem with me, fine, but leaving Gen? That’s bullshit, man.” Jensen crossed his arms over his chest.
“We both know that it’s not me that she wants.” He shook his hair out of his face. “We love each other, sure, but I’m an also-ran in this little… thing… that you guys have going on. I don’t want to be an afterthought. She’ll get the house and everything. It’ll all go on pretty much the way that it was before.”
“Nothing will go on the way it was before, dumbass. We’re all only here because of you. We came to Austin because of you.”
“And I came to Austin to get over you!” Jared roared. “Now I have to flee the country too?” He turned away. “Sorry. That’s not fair to you.” He took a deep breath. “It’s just… look. You can’t put that whole… ‘We came to Austin because of you’ thing on me and then… “
“You’re upset about the whole foursome thing.” Jensen took a deep breath.
“There is no ‘foursome thing.’ There’s you and your wife and my wife. That’s the relationship. And it was kind of like, okay, this is what I can have.” His breath hitched. “And then we did… that.”
Jensen sat on the bed. “Jared. Look. I mean Gen and Danneel have a real relationship, okay? And the other stuff is just sex.”
Jared rolled his eyes. “I’m aware.”
“Well I mean it was just sex. And it was like… I was down for it. And I let myself think that if they added you to it, it would just be sex with another person in the room. Fine, whatever.” He waved his hand. “I’ve never been into guys. I’ve never wanted to kiss another guy.”
“I know. You’re straight. Film at eleven.”
Jensen chuckled. “I want to be. I mean yeah, I’ve never kissed a guy, and I’ve never felt the urge to kiss a guy who wasn’t you. But I’ve never felt the urge to walk up and stick my tongue down the throat of a woman who wasn’t Danneel, either.” He swallowed, levity aside. “I’ve been scared, my whole life, of what I’d lose if I were attracted to guys. I saw what you went through. I saw what others went through. But Jared, I’ve also done everything in my power to keep you near me. And I’m more scared of losing you than I am of losing my practice, my marriage, my family. My other family,” he corrected with a little grin.
Jared shook his head. “That doesn’t make sense. You’re still not…”
“Dude, I’ve been spying on you out the windows for weeks. When we touched hands that night I came harder than I’ve ever come in my life. I don’t know if I’m ready for the full on penetrative… thing… yet but Jared, don’t leave me." He reached out with a shaking hand and grabbed Jared’s arm.
Jared blinked. “You’re fucking with me right now.”
Jensen kissed him, deep and long and passionate. Jared took a second to get with the program but then he was right there, all lips and tongue and huge hands cradling Jensen’s face. It was the best kiss Jensen had ever had in his life.
He stayed at Jared’s that night. When Jared called Ste-fan to tell him that he was staying, Jensen all but threw confetti into the air.
Epilogue
P>Jensen and Danneel let themselves into the Padalecki house. Jensen let Danneel lead him, even though he knew the way. His nerves had him trembling so badly that he’d probably accidently get lost and lock himself in the broom closet or something.
They found their way upstairs and hesitated outside the bedroom door, which was open. “Is that you?” Gen called from inside the bedroom.
Danneel just walked in, didn’t bother to say anything. Even she stopped short when she saw Jared spread out on the bed. Jensen didn’t blame her. Damn, but Jared looked amazing. He sat up with a kind of lazy smile on his face when the Ackles walked in and walked over to the side table, where four full flutes of sparkling wine waited for them.
“What’s all this?” Jensen asked, as Danneel divested herself of her tee shirt and jeans.
“It’s a gift, from Stephen.” He passed a flute over to Jensen and waited for Danneel to be ready before passing one over to her.
Jensen almost put it down. He definitely pulled it away from his lips. “Seriously, Jared?”
Jared walked over to Jensen and kissed him, full and sensuous, on the lips. “He wanted to congratulate us on our official commitment. So he sent this to help celebrate.”
Jensen looked up at Jared. “Seriously? Come on, now. He can’t have been willing to let you go that easily.” Jared looked down and away. “I didn’t mean it like that, Jay. All I meant was that if I had you I’d never give you up.”
Danneel dropped her jeans and stepped out of them. “You didn’t give him up.” She kissed the back of Jensen’s neck. “And now he’s ours.” She reached out with her free hand and pulled Gen into their circle. “All of ours. Forever.”
Gen lifted up her flute. “Forever.”
The others clinked glasses, and Jensen let Jared strip him and lead him over to the bed.
Author: safiyabat
Artist: vilabelle
Pairing: J2, Gen/Danneel, Jared/Stephen, J2DG
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 7,273
Warnings: Internalized homophobia, het sex, Chad
Prompt: Kinky Neighbors: The Mitchells and the Harts have been next door neighbors and friends for the past year. They have loads in common; double incomes, professional careers, no kids...and a kinky streak.
Now they're about to become very good friends...with kinky benefits.
The sex between them all is hot, naughty, and unbearably exciting. It isn't merely swapping partners and moving to another room; it's true foursome sex, same room, same bed, all four involved. For Drew and Cat Mitchell and Logan and Alexis Hart, it's about barreling through boundaries none of them have ever crossed before, doing kinky things they've only fantasized about. But when they begin to exchange not just sex but emotional connection, the problems start; a little jealousy, feeling left out, wanting more from the wrong partner. Can two couples really share everything without losing it all?
Summary Jensen's a pretty happy guy. He's happily married to his hometown sweetheart, Danneel, and he's got a thriving law practice in Austin. He lives next door to his lifelong best friend, Jared, who is married to his and Danneel's girlfriend, Gen. When Danneel and Gen suggest bringing Jared into the bedroom, though, things get weird. Jensen thought Jared had gotten over his schoolboy crush on Jensen, but it turns out that Jared isn't the only one with lingering feelings.
I.
Jensen wrapped his arms around Danneel’s waist and nuzzled into her neck. “Happy, sweetie?” He loved the smell of her today. He could pick up the chlorine from the pool, the white wine she’d been drinking, and the sunblock she’d kept putting on all day. If he tried, he could probably smell Gen’s shampoo in Danneel’s hair, or Jared’s vaguely piney scent clinging to her skin.
That shouldn’t excite him. And it didn’t. Jensen wasn’t into guys. The fact that he could share the most intimate parts of his life with the best friend he’d known since he was four, on the other hand, that was gold. Jensen just couldn’t be excited by the knowledge that his wife smelled like Jared because she’d snuck off to romp with the giant tech mogul before guests got there, or by the fact that if he kissed into her mouth he could probably taste Jared there.
“Ecstatic,” she told him. “I’m so glad that we were able to get the place next door to Jared and Gen, you know? It makes everything so much better.”
Jensen didn’t need words. He gave a happy little hum into his wife’s ear instead. He’d been lucky to find someone that understood him so well - understood him and Jared so well, he should say. “I’m glad we waited to do the housewarming until we’d gotten the landscaping set up.” He kissed her cheek. “It’s a lot more obvious that the whole place is useable this way, not just our half.”
Danneel snorted. “It does kind of make it look more like a compound, doesn’t it?"
Jensen waved a hand. “It’s Texas. We’re allowed.”
She turned around, so their lips were almost touching. They’d been together for so long that the closeness of her body like this shouldn’t still get him all hot and bothered, but he couldn’t help it. Danneel was perfect. “Gen and I were wondering if you wouldn’t mind having Jared come by tonight. Having a good night, you know, the four of us.”
Jensen swallowed hard. Getting hot and bothered because he knew that Jared’s huge hands had been all over Danneel only a few hours ago was one thing. The thought of having those hands only a few inches from his own was something else. “Tonight?” It wasn’t that he objected to having Gen over. Not at all. Danneel and Gen had met about a year after Jensen and Danneel had married, when they’d met in a book club for women’s erotica. Jensen enjoyed his wife’s girlfriend, and enjoyed the time that they spent together as a trio. He liked the fact that his wife slept over with Jared and Gen, too.
Making it a foursome? That was something else.
They’d talked about it in passing. Jensen had mostly thought that she was joking.
Danneel trailed her finger down the side of his face. “If you don’t want to you don’t have to. It’s okay, Jensen.”
His breath hitched in his chest. His heart was thudding against his ribs, like he’d just run a marathon. “No no. If it’s what you want I’m all for it. I just - is Jared going to be okay with it?”
Danneel grinned. “I think he’ll do whatever Gen wants him to. Besides, he likes guys, remember?”
Jensen took a step back. “Yeah, but I don’t. I don’t want him thinking we’re going into this and we’re going to -“
Danneel put a hand on his chest and laughed. “Oh come on, Jensen. You don’t still think he’s in love with you? That was high school.”
It had been high school. Jensen and Jared had been best friends since grade school, and they and Danneel had planned to go to UT San Antonio together. At the last minute - well, two weeks before graduation - Jared had told Jensen that he was off to UT Austin instead, on a full ride. Jensen had been pissed, which led to Jared’s second big confession of the night.
Jared had gone after the Austin scholarship specifically to get away from Jensen. Not because he didn’t like Jensen anymore or anything like that, but because he liked him too much. “I’m bisexual,” he told Jensen. “And I’m in love with you. And I get that you’re straight and can’t love me back, not the way that I mean. So I’m going off to Austin, because I think what I need to get better from this is to be around some other people who also like guys. Maybe meet someone, who knows. But you’re my best friend, and I don’t want to risk losing that because I keep moping around. So I’m going to go and try to get over it, and you’re going to go to San Antonio and do a great job there.”
It had just about broken Jensen’s heart, largely because Jared was right. Sure, Jared was hot for a guy, if you were going to look, but Jensen wasn’t attracted to guys. He couldn’t be attracted to guys. He was dating Danneel, who he loved and was going to marry. He was on the football team. Those guys would eat him alive if he were gay or bi or whatever. Even if Jared was the single most important person in the world.
It hurt, though, that Jared was leaving him - not just leaving for school, but leaving Jensen, and had been planning to leave Jensen for a while. It hurt, too, that the most important person in Jensen’s life thought of being in love as a sickness to be gotten over instead of something to be celebrated and enjoyed. But what could he do? He physically couldn’t give Jared what he wanted, and Jared wasn’t even asking him to.
All of that had been years ago, though. Danneel was right. Jared hadn’t mentioned his schoolboy crush since that night right before graduation. They’d picked up their friendship right where they’d left off after graduation, when Danneel and Jensen had gotten married and moved up to Austin. Jared was married now, to Genevieve. Sure their relationship was open, in ways that were different from the way that Jensen and Danneel’s relationship was open, but there was no way that Jared had any thoughts like that about Jensen anymore. “You’re right,” he said to Danneel. “Sorry. That was stupid. Anything the two of you cook up will be just fine with me and Jared.”
She grinned and kissed him. “I know, baby. It’ll be great.” Then she returned to the party.
The party wound down around ten. Part of Jensen mourned for that. At some point they’d all become responsible adults and Jensen missed the wilder days of youth. At the same time, the party had been going all day, and he only felt like he could be expected to entertain for so many hours. Chad was the last one to leave, with a baleful glare at Jensen and Danneel. “I don’t like it,” he said, wagging a finger at them. “Should’ve stayed in San Antonio ‘n left him alone. But whatever.” And he skulked out into the night, carrying a bowl of Cheetos with him.
“Wasn’t that our bowl?” Danneel asked.
“I think it was,” Jensen nodded. “But we didn’t supply Cheetos. Whatever. It’s Chad.”
Danneel sighed. “He doesn’t like us much, does he?”
“It’s Chad,” Jensen said again. “I think the only thing he does like is Jared. And sometimes I’m not even sure about him. Come on, let’s get the cleanup started.”
They didn’t work too hard at cleaning up, just brought in whatever shouldn’t be left out and left the rest for tomorrow. Once they’d done what they couldn’t put off, they went to shower and get ready for their big night.
Jensen sat in a chair in the master bedroom, foot tapping while he tried not to chew on his fingernails. He shouldn’t be this nervous. He knew that he could trust Jared not to go too far, not to even look at him, so why should he be so uptight and jittery? It was just sex, for crying out loud. He’d had sex plenty of times, with both Gen and Danneel.
Danneel slipped into a black lace teddy. “It’s going to be fun, Jensen. Don’t worry about it.”
“I know.” He smiled at his wife and tried to relax, but he still jumped when her phone buzzed.
“It’s Gen,” she said, checking the screen. “They’re on their way over.”
Jensen blew out a long, steady stream of air. It was show time. There was no getting out of this now. And just between him and the wall, he didn’t want to.
Jared and Gen both had keys to the house, and they let themselves in now. Genevieve was the first to walk into the master suite, dragging Jared in by the hand. Jared’s eyes refused to settle on any one place in the room, and he was biting his lip hard enough that it looked like it hurt. Jared was nervous, Jensen realized. Jared was uncomfortable.
“I think both of our guys are a little out of their element,” Danneel suggested, walking over to Gen and helping her off with her shirt.
Underneath her jeans and tee shirt, Gen wore a pretty, white lace bra that set off her dark skin and hair to perfect advantage. Jensen’s cock twitched in his pants. “I think you’re probably right,” Gen told her. “It doesn’t have to be weird though.”
Jensen tried to meet Jared’s eyes, but Jared wouldn’t look directly at him. What part of this wasn’t weird? “It’s a little different,” Jensen admitted, putting as much calm into his voice as he could. “If it’s what y’all want to do, though, I’m game.” He stepped forward and carded his hands through Gen’s long, dark hair. “I mean no one has to touch anyone they don’t want to.”
Jared turned his head away. “Yeah. Should be okay, right?”
Danneel walked over to Jared and cupped his face in her hands. “Come on, Jared. Like this is your first group sex experience.”
Jensen almost froze in his tracks. The image of Jared in the middle of a group of writhing, naked bodies appeared before his eyes and would not leave.
Jared gave a little laugh. Jensen didn’t know how to describe it, except that it hopped the line between bitter and dirty and back again. “No. It’s not.” He let Danneel kiss him then, and let her strip his shirts from his body.
Jared didn’t want to be here.
Jensen couldn’t shake that knowledge. He knew that Jared was willing to play with Gen and Danneel, so his best friend’s discomfiture could only have one source. It was Jensen. Jared didn’t want to be here because of Jensen.
Well, of course he didn’t. Jared had been very careful his entire life to keep the details of his own sex life away from Jensen, because he knew that Jensen was straight and he didn’t want Jensen to be uncomfortable. For example, Jensen hadn’t known that Jared was into group sex outside of their little unit there, and that kind of bothered him. Jared was there because his wife wanted him there, and because he believed that Danneel and Jensen wanted him there, but he wasn’t there for his own entertainment.
Jensen had to show him that it was okay. He had to make it right. He kissed Gen, licking into her mouth like he had something to prove.
They hadn’t talked about how this was going to work, at least not among the four of them. Apparently their wives had, because instead of playing with one another Gen focused on Jensen and Danneel focused on Jared. That was fine; less opportunities to make one another uncomfortable for the men that way.
Jensen knew exactly how to get Gen hot. They’d been doing this for years, after all, longer than Gen and Jared had been together. He knew exactly when to nibble his way down her neck, and just when to pick her up and carry her over to the oversized bed that dominated their bedroom. He knew how much pressure to use when he pinched her nipples, just how much was enough to give pleasure and how much would cross the line.
He was a little worried about how Jared and Danneel would fare. After all, Danneel and Jensen had been together since high school, whereas Jared only occasionally played with Danneel at all and even then only in the past few years. When he lifted his eyes to check, though, Jensen could see that his wife wasn’t having any problems at all.
Danneel had gotten Jared to sit down on the end of the bed. She’d gotten his shirts off, and now she straddled him. Her head was thrown back as Jared sucked on her left breast, and she gripped his biceps like she was holding on for life.
Jensen had seen Jared without his shirt on plenty of times. Jared had been in his pool only today, and the Austin heat made running without a shirt a practical option for a sweaty guy like Jared. Jensen had always been comfortable enough in himself to admit that Jared had a nice body, but that was an objective observation. That wasn’t right next to him in a bed, being straddled by Jensen’s wife. That wasn’t in a sexual context, in a way that Jensen could easily just reach out and enjoy.
Enjoy?
Jensen tried to focus on Gen. Gen, who was amazing. Gen, who let him move his face down her body and taste her. No guy would taste like this. No guy would feel like this either. Jensen poured everything he had into eating Gen, into making her come and wallowing in the taste and smell of her. He loved this, going down on women. Some guys wouldn’t do it but for Jensen, this was a favorite part of the experience.
Beside him, Danneel’s soft cries told him that she was getting something that she wanted for herself, too. He took a breath from his attentions to Gen to see Jared lying on his back and Danneel riding his face like there was no tomorrow. He had his hands on her hips, but that seemed to be more of a way to guide her than any kind of control.
Jensen couldn’t help but be struck by the long, beautiful lines of Jared’s body. When they’d been kids, Jared had been skinny and gawky. Now Jared looked like some kind of god. His muscles were perfectly sculpted, and how Danneel could avoid running her tongue down the ridges of his abs would forever be one of the mysteries for the ages. She was a stronger person than Jensen, that was for sure.
Wait, what?
“I need you in me,” Gen told Jensen. There was no way that she hadn’t seen Jensen’s eyes wander, but she didn’t complain. She just smirked and winked.
Had this been her plan the whole time, hers and Danneel’s? And if so, had Jared been in on it?
Jensen couldn’t think about that right now. His cock was so hard that it hurt, and when Gen pressed the condom into his hand he checked it and rolled it over himself without a second thought. She was wet and relaxed and ready for him as she hooked her heels over his shoulders. He lined himself up and sank himself home.
She cried out when he entered her and he grinned. He’d always liked this. He set up a good rhythm, not too harsh but the kind of intensity that he knew Gen liked, and snaked a hand in between them to find her clit. She cried out loud as her pleasure built, bringing Jensen along with her.
Beside them, Danneel yelled as her own orgasm neared. Jensen didn’t look, didn’t dare, but he blindly reached out with one hand to give some kind of connection. He connected with hot flesh and he squeezed, and he got a squeeze back before he realized that the hand with which he’d connected was far too large to belong to his wife.
He’d just grabbed another man’s hand during sex. Not just another man’s, but Jared’s.
His balls tightened and he came harder than he’d ever come in his life, groaning as he spilled his release into the condom. Next to him, he heard Jared lose whatever rhythm had been going as Danneel hollered. They were done too.
Both couples lay panting for a moment, and then Jared pulled his hand back so he could pull out and dispose of his condom. Jensen did the same. He didn’t look at Jared. He didn’t want it to be weird. It didn’t have to be, after all.
It was just sex.
Jared cleaned himself up first and then staggered back to the bed. When Jensen finished cleaning himself up, he came back to find Jared playing big spoon to both Danneel and Gen, because his Gigantor arms let him do that. He could probably manage to hold Jensen too, if it came to that.
Not that Jensen could let him.
He slipped into the bed and tried to find some way of holding onto their wives that didn’t involve making physical contact with Jared, because that would be weird. Fortunately, both Danneel and Gen seemed to be content to let him flail around in his momentary gay panic, and Jared was apparently the kind of guy who fell asleep as soon as he was done because he didn’t seem to notice at all.
“That was pretty good,” Jensen whispered to Danneel and Gen. “I thought it would be weird, but it was nice.”
Gen glared at him, but she still had a smile on her face. “He’ll hear you, moron.”
“He’s fast asleep, he’s fine.” He kissed her and then Danneel before he, too, fell asleep.
He woke up an hour later to find Jared gone.
Danneel hadn’t woken up when he left, and neither had Gen. His clothes were gone, though, and a quick check out the window proved that he’d just gone home. Gen texted him, and he told her that he’d gotten a work message hat he had to take care of right away.
Both Danneel and Jensen were inclined to accept that at face value. Gen wasn’t so sure. “He turned his phone off for the night, guys,” she told them with a sigh. “I wonder if we didn’t maybe make a mistake.”
“How do you mean?” Jensen yawned. Part of him was ready to go another round, but most of him just wanted to go back to sleep.
She glanced at Jensen. “I mean that Jared was kind of uncomfortable with this and I pushed him into it. I thought it would be good for him. We share everything else, you know? But - meh. Maybe not.”
“He’ll be fine.” Jensen glanced out the window at the single light burning over at the Padaleckis’ house. “He’s a big guy, he can handle himself.”
That single light mocked Jensen’s words, but he forced himself to be cheerful. Jared was an adult, and he’d said yes to everything that had happened. Which was nothing - they’d brushed hands, for crying out loud. Nothing to get upset about.
II.
Jensen didn’t see much of Jared for the next week or so. Well, he saw Jared. He saw Jared from his windows, as Jared went for a morning run or as Jared poked at his dinner on their back deck. He got a few random tweets from Jared’s personal account, but they weren’t anything personal. They were just bad science jokes that required extra coffee for Jensen to wrap his head around the punch line.
Gen didn’t come over much during that week. Danneel went over to the Padaleckis’ place sometimes, but Gen seemed reluctant to come over to the house. After a week went by, Jensen finally cornered his wife about it.
“Okay,” she sighed. “So Jared’s a little freaked out, but we’re working on him. Don’t worry about it, he’s coming around, it’s not a big deal.”
“It is a big deal if my best friend’s turning into a hermit,” Jensen snapped. “I didn’t move us up here from San Antonio, and get a place next door to him, so he could lock himself in his office and pretend we don’t live here!”
Danneel ran her fingers through his hair. “I know. It’s just… well, he wasn’t expecting it when you grabbed his hand, and he thinks you’re mad at him.”
Jensen thought about that for a second. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
She held up her hands. “Look, it’s the truth. It’s not like you’ve reached out to him since then, right?”
“I was giving him his space!” Jensen rubbed his face. “Which was probably dumb of me.” He sent Jared a text. “Let’s go out and grab some beers tomorrow night.” Their wives were already planning to get together, so it would be a good opportunity to go hang out and just be buddies again.
Jared took ten minutes to reply. “Okay, sounds good.”
He didn’t sound nervous. Then again, a text never did.
Of course, it turned out to not be just the two of them when it came right down to it. Jensen’s client and friend, country singer Chris Kane, wanted to come out and catch up a little bit. Then Jared told him that Chad would be coming too, which made Jensen cringe but whatever. He’d get over it. Chris had survived a few encounters of the Chad kind before, and had only tried to punt him once.
They all met up at Riley’s. Riley’s was a laid-back beer hall down on Sixth Street. If Chad wanted to get rowdy later, he could go someplace else, but Riley’s wasn’t that kind of place. It was a chill place, for hanging out and relaxing, and being a damn adult.
Okay, maybe Jensen was kind of taking things out on Chad a little bit. He’d never liked Chad, and only half of it was because Jensen couldn’t quite tell if Chad was a human or a fungus.
Chad had been assigned as Jared’s roommate during his freshman year at Austin. He was a part of Jared’s life that Jensen could never share, and Jensen wasn’t too proud to admit to himself and his beer that he hated Chad for it. Chad wasn’t just Jared’s old roommate; he was his big gay friend who could go do big gay things with him. They weren’t dating; Jensen couldn’t imagine Jared and Chad meshing that way. But Chad got to know all about that side of Jared, the people Jared dated and the pride parades and whatever. All of the things, in short, that Jensen would never be part of.
And Chad had this weird kind of protective thing about Jared, too. He was like a guard beagle, not able to do much but always snapping his teeth in Jensen’s face. Like Jensen would ever hurt Jared.
Jensen got to Riley’s early, meeting up with Chris to go over Chris’ new contract with the record company. Jared and Chad arrived exactly on time, which mean that Jared must have told Chad that they needed to be there two hours before their actual meet-up time. Jared looked good. He wore jeans that actually fit him for once, and a black and white button-up left loose to reveal the black V-neck underneath. Jared’s neck was shown to advantage that way, long and perfect for Jensen to nibble his way down -
Okay, what the fuck?
Jensen shook his head to clear it, which failed spectacularly when Jared threw his head back and laughed at a joke that Chad had just told him. Thank God for the bar. Thank God Jensen was sitting at the bar, and thank God Chris would never look for this kind of thing, because Jensen absolutely hadn’t just gotten hard from the sight of Jared’s long, tanned neck and megawatt smile. He hadn’t.
Maybe Jensen was coming down with something. He’d have to hit WebMD later and see if there was some kind of flu virus that came with inappropriate erections, because Jensen Ackles was not attracted to men.
He drained half of his beer in one gulp. “Hey, are you okay?” Chris asked.
“Never better,” Jensen lied. Chris didn’t buy it, Jensen could see it in his eyes, but he didn’t call Jensen on it either and that was what mattered.
Jared and Chad joined them, and they grabbed a booth rather than staying at the bar.
Jensen barely heard anything anyone said for the whole night. He tried to fake it, and to keep up with whatever the others were talking about, but he didn’t know if he was fooling anyone. He definitely wasn’t fooling Chad, who just smirked at him and pointed out to Jared that some guy named Stephen was going to be in Austin next week. Maybe they should get together.
And then - then! - Jared looked interested. “Is Amell really coming down here? It’ll be good to see him. Been a while.”
“Yeah, he reached out to me the night of that housewarming party.” Chad gave Jensen a shit-eating grin. “Specifically asked about you, there, Jare-Bear.”
Jared rolled his eyes at the nickname. “Okay. I mean sure it’ll be good to see him again but it’s been a while, you know?” He flicked those amazing eyes of his over to Jensen for a quick second and then changed the subject, and Jensen understood. Stephen was an old flame, a former partner, whatever.
Which was fine. Jensen knew that Jared had his own outside partners. That was part of what had drawn him and Gen together in the first place: they both wanted an open relationship. And it was none of Jensen’s business, except for the part where he wanted to hunt this Stephen guy down and put his head on a pike or something.
What was with him tonight?
He got through the rest of the evening on autopilot. When the time came to split for the night, Jared drove Jensen home, on the grounds that he had stopped drinking early on and Jensen had not. When they got back to their neighborhood, it was quickly apparent that Gen and Danneel were firmly ensconced at the Ackles residence and didn’t need the men along, thank you very much, so Jared invited Jensen to come over for a little while.
Jensen squirmed. He shouldn’t do this. He wasn’t exactly drunk but he wasn’t exactly sober either, and he’d been drooling over Jared all night, and maybe he should just go sleep it off by the pool or something. But that would be weird. Things weren’t supposed to get weird after swinging.
“Thanks, man.”
Jared found him a pair of sweats and a tee shirt and showed him to one of the guest rooms. Jensen didn’t need the escort; he’d crashed here any number of times before. Still, he didn’t say anything because it was easier than talking. Jensen was terrified of blurting out something weird or inappropriate. Because it didn’t get more inappropriate than, “I accidentally grabbed your hand during sex with your wife and now I can’t stop thinking about putting my hands on you.”
They made small talk for a little while, and then Jared got up and went to bed. Jensen longed to join him, but he stayed back.
The next day he went to Danneel and told her that he didn’t think that getting the four of them together, sexually, was a great idea anymore. She got very still, but she heard him out and let him get his words out. Then she turned around and raised an eyebrow. “Okay, I know that Gen and I kind of pushed you guys into it, but you seemed willing at the time and I know you had a good time.” Her face softened and she stroked his cheek. “Can you maybe explain to me why you don’t want to do that anymore? So I can wrap my head around it?”
Jensen sighed. “It just got weird, you know? I mean it was fine when it was just the three of us, but with Jared it’s different.”
“Are you finally ready to accept your attraction to Jared?” She grinned.
Jensen thought he might be having a heart attack. “I’m not attracted to Jared! He’s a dude!”
She put a hand on his arm. “Come on, Jensen. I’ve known you both for decades. I’ve seen the way you look at him, the way you watch him. It didn’t just start last week. Gen and I figured that maybe you were finally ready to accept that about yourself.”
Jensen’s whole body felt cold. “I’m not attracted to him. I’m not attracted to men.” He shook her arm off. “I can’t be attracted to men, Danneel. You know that. You know what would happen. I’d lose clients, I’d lose my family -“
She sighed. “Your family’s changed over the years, Jensen. But obviously we made a mistake. Fine. We won’t do that anymore.”
Jensen relaxed. Everything could just go back to the way they had been.
Except it didn’t. Gen started coming over more and more, leaving Jared at home, and there was worry in her dark eyes. “He’s shutting me out,” she told them. “I think he’s upset about the whole… thing…” She grimaced. “I don’t know. Maybe this Stephen guy will be good for him.” She rubbed at her temples. “I don’t know. I was just kind of hoping… I mean I know that he doesn’t necessarily like to go outside the marriage, you know? I guess I was hoping that expanding playtime would give him enough of what he wanted that he wouldn’t need to do that anymore.” She held up her hands. “Not that I mind, it was part of the agreement, but he doesn’t want to. So.”
Jensen shook his head. “I could have told you that it wasn’t going to work like that, Gen. I can’t be what he wants.”
Gen glared daggers at him. “Oh, I know it. Don’t you think for one minute that I don’t know exactly why you pushed me at him in the first place, Jensen Ackles. Or that he doesn’t, either.”
Jensen choked on his beer. “It wasn’t like that,” he spluttered. It hadn’t been.
“It was exactly like that,” Danneel said, taking Gen’s hand. “We thought we were being helpful. And you do love him.”
“We do love each other,” Gen said, her dark hair falling into her face. “We’re in love, don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t be having this conversation if I didn’t love him and want him to be happy, you know? I just don’t know what to do.”
Jensen didn’t like that Gen was talking about this Stephen guy in those kinds of terms. He knew that Jared sometimes sought out men for sex, didn’t want the details, but those were all casual affairs. When he’d gotten together with Gen, with Danneel’s girlfriend, they were supposed to be restricted to casual things.
Crap. He had done it, hadn’t he? He and Danneel had deliberately set Jared and Gen up with the intention of keeping Jared within their orbit. Jensen hadn’t even done it consciously. Jared had run off to Austin to try to put some distance between them, to try to get over being in love with Jensen, and Jensen had chased him down and set him up with a woman who was part of Jensen’s own little family and done everything in his power to keep Jared right where he belonged, at Jensen’s side, just without the sex.
When this Stephen guy showed up, Jensen wanted to punch him in the face right off the bat. Stephen was another tech guy, just like Jared. He was into fitness, just like Jared, and the first time that Jensen looked out his window and saw the two of them running around out there without their shirts on Jensen wanted to throw up. Jared was probably washing his clothes on Ste-fan’s abs. Or Ste-fan was probably washing his clothes on Jared’s. They could compare notes on muscles and workouts and whatever.
Jensen remembered Jared when he’d been short, for crying out loud. Jensen remembered Jared when Jared had studied ballet.
To make matters worse, Jared gradually faded from the house. Gen was already at the Ackles’ place more often, but now Jared just wasn’t coming home. “He’s staying down at Stephen’s hotel,” Gen told them with a toss of her hair. “He sent me a pic last night.”
“Does he usually send you pictures of him with his guys?” Jensen growled.
“No.” Gen rolled her eyes. “But I send him pics of me with Danneel or me and you all the time.”
Jensen barely made it to the bathroom in time to be sick.
“Dude, what’s wrong?” Gen asked him when he returned. “What’s wrong with it? It’s nothing that we don’t do.”
“But that’s us!” Jensen complained. “Us! Not… not this guy. He’s freaking Canadian! From Toronto! They have hockey there!”
Danneel put her hands on Jensen’s shoulders. “I know. But Jensen, he’s having a good time and it’s not like Stephen’s going to be around forever. Why don’t you want him to have this? It’s like you’re jealous.”
Of course Jensen was jealous. He just couldn’t articulate it to his wife. He couldn’t articulate it to anyone. If he’d been able to say something to anyone, none of this would have happened and Jared would be right by Jensen’s side where he belonged.
Two weeks after Stephen got to Austin, everyone decided to get together at the Padalecki place for drinks. Jensen had been left out of the planning process, because he didn’t want to be involved with anything that had anything to do with freaking Stephen, but Danneel basically dragged him over there by his ear and he sat in a corner and grumped all night.
Jared looked happy. That was the thing that got to Jensen. Jared had a sparkle in his eyes and a spring in his step that had been missing for a while, and that hurt to see. He and Stephen weren’t overt, but they had an ease and familiarity with one another that turned Jensen’s stomach.
Chad was there. Chad was always there, his little Chad-spores had gotten into the carpeting or something, and he just sat back and watched with a smirk. He didn’t seem all that fond of Stephen, but he needled Jensen about it in ways that had even Genevieve telling Chad to go cool off somewhere.
Jensen did his best to try to avoid being in the same space as Stephen, but toward the end of the evening he went to get some water from the fridge and Stephen followed him. Great, Jensen thought to himself. Just what I always wanted.
Stephen shook his hand. “I’m really glad that I finally got to meet you,” he told Jensen. “I heard so much about you, you know?”
“Did you now.” Jensen grabbed a glass off the shelf.
“Oh yeah. Back in college. Jared and I had a thing, you know? Oh, we were together for about a year, before graduation. I tried to get him to come to Toronto with me, but he wasn’t ready to make that jump.” He hung his head and chuckled. “Still in love with someone else. The mysterious Jensen. Very tragic, of course.”
“He’s over it.” Jensen hated Stephen. He hated his abs, hated his stupid high-pitched voice, hated his broad grin. He hated Canada, because that was where Stephen came from. He even hated maple syrup.
“I’ll say.” Stephen winked. “I’m going to try to get him to come back to Toronto with me. Canada’s got favorable tax incentives for his type of company if they relocate, and we’ve definitely got the same kind of chemistry we did all those years ago.”
Jensen shook his head. “You do get that he’s married.”
“Details.” Stephen waved a hand. “Gen seems like a sweet girl. She can come if she wants, but she’s barely looked at him since I’ve been here. I don’t think that she’ll mind.” He winked at Jensen and walked out.
Jensen’s jaw dropped and he gaped at Stephen’s retreating back.
III.
The entire world was spinning, and Jensen’s head was spinning in the opposite direction. He didn’t know what to say or do. His breath came in harsh pants as he struggled to keep his dinner in his gullet.
He fled. It was all that he could do. He didn’t tell Danneel, and he didn’t tell Gen. Maybe nothing would come of it. Maybe Jared would see reason, get over this whole Ste-fan phase, and they’d keep going on the way they had before.
He didn’t go over to Jared’s to talk about it. Jared wasn’t there anyway. He didn’t reach out to Jared either, because that would mean acknowledging the possibility of Jared leaving.
It would mean acknowledging that Jensen was jealous.
Three days later, Gen came over to the house in tears. “He’s leaving.”
“He’s what?” Danneel dropped the dish she’d been putting away and turned to her. “Jared’s leaving?”
Jensen let out a scream. “He can’t! He can’t leave!”
“He says that he’s got to get away, got to…” Gen dabbed at her eyes. “We made a horrible mistake. We should never have pushed.”
Jensen stood up. “Where is he now?” His mouth was dry, his hands were numb, but he had to do this. He had to fix this.
“He’s packing up some of his things. He’s at the house right now. Jen, he doesn’t want to see you.”
“Well he’s going to.”
Jensen walked over to the Padalecki house. Jared was there, packing up a few of his shirts, and he flinched when Jensen walked into the room. “Jensen.” He hung his head, hiding his face with his hair. “What are you doing here?”
“You got a problem with me, fine, but leaving Gen? That’s bullshit, man.” Jensen crossed his arms over his chest.
“We both know that it’s not me that she wants.” He shook his hair out of his face. “We love each other, sure, but I’m an also-ran in this little… thing… that you guys have going on. I don’t want to be an afterthought. She’ll get the house and everything. It’ll all go on pretty much the way that it was before.”
“Nothing will go on the way it was before, dumbass. We’re all only here because of you. We came to Austin because of you.”
“And I came to Austin to get over you!” Jared roared. “Now I have to flee the country too?” He turned away. “Sorry. That’s not fair to you.” He took a deep breath. “It’s just… look. You can’t put that whole… ‘We came to Austin because of you’ thing on me and then… “
“You’re upset about the whole foursome thing.” Jensen took a deep breath.
“There is no ‘foursome thing.’ There’s you and your wife and my wife. That’s the relationship. And it was kind of like, okay, this is what I can have.” His breath hitched. “And then we did… that.”
Jensen sat on the bed. “Jared. Look. I mean Gen and Danneel have a real relationship, okay? And the other stuff is just sex.”
Jared rolled his eyes. “I’m aware.”
“Well I mean it was just sex. And it was like… I was down for it. And I let myself think that if they added you to it, it would just be sex with another person in the room. Fine, whatever.” He waved his hand. “I’ve never been into guys. I’ve never wanted to kiss another guy.”
“I know. You’re straight. Film at eleven.”
Jensen chuckled. “I want to be. I mean yeah, I’ve never kissed a guy, and I’ve never felt the urge to kiss a guy who wasn’t you. But I’ve never felt the urge to walk up and stick my tongue down the throat of a woman who wasn’t Danneel, either.” He swallowed, levity aside. “I’ve been scared, my whole life, of what I’d lose if I were attracted to guys. I saw what you went through. I saw what others went through. But Jared, I’ve also done everything in my power to keep you near me. And I’m more scared of losing you than I am of losing my practice, my marriage, my family. My other family,” he corrected with a little grin.
Jared shook his head. “That doesn’t make sense. You’re still not…”
“Dude, I’ve been spying on you out the windows for weeks. When we touched hands that night I came harder than I’ve ever come in my life. I don’t know if I’m ready for the full on penetrative… thing… yet but Jared, don’t leave me." He reached out with a shaking hand and grabbed Jared’s arm.
Jared blinked. “You’re fucking with me right now.”
Jensen kissed him, deep and long and passionate. Jared took a second to get with the program but then he was right there, all lips and tongue and huge hands cradling Jensen’s face. It was the best kiss Jensen had ever had in his life.
He stayed at Jared’s that night. When Jared called Ste-fan to tell him that he was staying, Jensen all but threw confetti into the air.
Epilogue
P>Jensen and Danneel let themselves into the Padalecki house. Jensen let Danneel lead him, even though he knew the way. His nerves had him trembling so badly that he’d probably accidently get lost and lock himself in the broom closet or something.
They found their way upstairs and hesitated outside the bedroom door, which was open. “Is that you?” Gen called from inside the bedroom.
Danneel just walked in, didn’t bother to say anything. Even she stopped short when she saw Jared spread out on the bed. Jensen didn’t blame her. Damn, but Jared looked amazing. He sat up with a kind of lazy smile on his face when the Ackles walked in and walked over to the side table, where four full flutes of sparkling wine waited for them.
“What’s all this?” Jensen asked, as Danneel divested herself of her tee shirt and jeans.
“It’s a gift, from Stephen.” He passed a flute over to Jensen and waited for Danneel to be ready before passing one over to her.
Jensen almost put it down. He definitely pulled it away from his lips. “Seriously, Jared?”
Jared walked over to Jensen and kissed him, full and sensuous, on the lips. “He wanted to congratulate us on our official commitment. So he sent this to help celebrate.”
Jensen looked up at Jared. “Seriously? Come on, now. He can’t have been willing to let you go that easily.” Jared looked down and away. “I didn’t mean it like that, Jay. All I meant was that if I had you I’d never give you up.”
Danneel dropped her jeans and stepped out of them. “You didn’t give him up.” She kissed the back of Jensen’s neck. “And now he’s ours.” She reached out with her free hand and pulled Gen into their circle. “All of ours. Forever.”
Gen lifted up her flute. “Forever.”
The others clinked glasses, and Jensen let Jared strip him and lead him over to the bed.