(no subject)
everyone keeps telling me that in twenty thirty years. i am going to look back on this affair and laugh at it. but can anyone tell me how to get over the heartache and emotional trauma im suffering now. what if it takes me that twenty thirty years to get over someone who does give a fuck enough to fight to keep me. will still be as funny. i dont think. so. its been a.vicious cycle. each time i think.im.strong enough. something reminds me of how much fun and joy i had when we were hooking up. the way you made me smile. the way you smiled at me. THAT WAS IT. thats all that i can hold on to. and i shouldnt. its so FUCKING unhealthy. i miss you so much. and thinking about how im missing you like this. it scares me. we were never meant for this were we. thats why you freaked out. and im still confused. so strange its soooo strange. i hope ur happy. but i also hope deep down you regret losing me. i hope you think over and over again if you made the right decision. no matter how much you say you dont do regrets. i hope you at least contemplate it.
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