A Meme Excuse and Further Musings.
Leave me a comment:
I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity, these questions can be as serious or delicate as you like but please be respectful in your questions.
In return, comment back with five questions for me.
We update our journals with the answers to the questions
• Include this explanation in the post so other people can ask you questions
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...It's almost sordid, my retreat from the world on a variety of reasons. Why, of course, I still have my job, my life, but the passion seems to have left me for the time being. I'm negative and yet, despite it all, people keep looking at me through these positive lenses. Am I but exaggerating how bad it is or how bad it could be? I wish I could know that answer. I return from work and simply collapse. And yet, at first glance, they continue to say my star's grown quite bright - my name carries even more clout than before, but...I'm not happier than I was a month ago or even at the beginning of the year. Sure, some numbers of money have come here and there, but I still have a lack of stability and, more disturbingly, a lack of connection to anything/anyone. It makes me simply want to curl up and stop my own empire of dirt from forming and falling underneath me...
This rhythm of a sick and diseased race continues to beat around me. Dreams are often my one sanctuary but they provide me with little rest but enough respite to carry the next day. I recognize that this could very well be my prison for a few months until I have the inability to do little else than get a move on. If I had the wings, I'd be flying far far away from here. These chains do seem to tighten and eventually strangle many over time.
I despise so many of the people I'm with. I try to guide them to something more than this mindless, hollow, routine that marks day to day but I don't yet have the tools to make a bold push. It will come in my life, that borderline breaking point where I can't take the battles anymore. I'll admit that I don't bear many scars of the days past here, but that doesn't mean I can't see at least some of the vast capacity of nothingness that signifies most days here.
But I will continue to wear my real face regardless of the emotions belied within. I admit I'm part of this arms race but I cannot be the one who falls in the end of this shell.
But this energy that other people push on it, it can't be me. Yeah, I'm discontent with a lot of things, but I have the positivity to know that I don't have to be that way. Soon, I might have the tools to do so and get beyond the trivial lusts of humanity to something more. I have things and those worth fighting for. Although I do speak of the lower parts of me more frequently, even though sleep comes fitfully at times, I'm still the one that people have turned to. I'm not a demi-god, not a saviour for any or all. I believe in the beaten, broken, and bruised...and we'll wear the grim, wry smile that will cause anything rising against us pause.
The chill in the seasons will not mean that I will fall upon. Change in nature does not come at anyone's beck and call, nor is it instant. The growth, though, is what I hope to see - in you and me.
I just desperately hope that I am not the only one left with voice at the end.
I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity, these questions can be as serious or delicate as you like but please be respectful in your questions.
In return, comment back with five questions for me.
We update our journals with the answers to the questions
• Include this explanation in the post so other people can ask you questions
**
***
******
...It's almost sordid, my retreat from the world on a variety of reasons. Why, of course, I still have my job, my life, but the passion seems to have left me for the time being. I'm negative and yet, despite it all, people keep looking at me through these positive lenses. Am I but exaggerating how bad it is or how bad it could be? I wish I could know that answer. I return from work and simply collapse. And yet, at first glance, they continue to say my star's grown quite bright - my name carries even more clout than before, but...I'm not happier than I was a month ago or even at the beginning of the year. Sure, some numbers of money have come here and there, but I still have a lack of stability and, more disturbingly, a lack of connection to anything/anyone. It makes me simply want to curl up and stop my own empire of dirt from forming and falling underneath me...
This rhythm of a sick and diseased race continues to beat around me. Dreams are often my one sanctuary but they provide me with little rest but enough respite to carry the next day. I recognize that this could very well be my prison for a few months until I have the inability to do little else than get a move on. If I had the wings, I'd be flying far far away from here. These chains do seem to tighten and eventually strangle many over time.
I despise so many of the people I'm with. I try to guide them to something more than this mindless, hollow, routine that marks day to day but I don't yet have the tools to make a bold push. It will come in my life, that borderline breaking point where I can't take the battles anymore. I'll admit that I don't bear many scars of the days past here, but that doesn't mean I can't see at least some of the vast capacity of nothingness that signifies most days here.
But I will continue to wear my real face regardless of the emotions belied within. I admit I'm part of this arms race but I cannot be the one who falls in the end of this shell.
But this energy that other people push on it, it can't be me. Yeah, I'm discontent with a lot of things, but I have the positivity to know that I don't have to be that way. Soon, I might have the tools to do so and get beyond the trivial lusts of humanity to something more. I have things and those worth fighting for. Although I do speak of the lower parts of me more frequently, even though sleep comes fitfully at times, I'm still the one that people have turned to. I'm not a demi-god, not a saviour for any or all. I believe in the beaten, broken, and bruised...and we'll wear the grim, wry smile that will cause anything rising against us pause.
The chill in the seasons will not mean that I will fall upon. Change in nature does not come at anyone's beck and call, nor is it instant. The growth, though, is what I hope to see - in you and me.
I just desperately hope that I am not the only one left with voice at the end.