in which i contemplate throttling my kids

[saffirebleu]

Tonight I went out with Melissa and Terry, Tonya and Therasa (I think I spelled that right), and Melissa's mom Velma, and also met two lovely ladies, Tammy and Tammy, and another couple of lovely ladies, Helen and Eileen. I had a complete blast. It is the first time I have gone out and done anything fun in...honestly, I can't remember. A couple

Comments

[kattale]

Awww, sweetie. *holds you tight*

I would be calling the rink and THANKING THEM, and apologising for my 15-year-old babysitting daughter making a bad call - not trying to sound defensive. Just be your normal together self. Rink employee has a heart of gold - focus on that.

Then I would be calling the mum of the friend Abby was staying with, and asking WTF????? What the actual fuck???? Why was my kid supposed to be staying at your house, and you abandoned her at a rink all alone? And wrap Abby in your arms (if she'll let you - do it verbally if she won't) and hold her and hold her, and tell her how scared this story made you, and how if you'd known, you would NEVER have let something so scary happen to her ever, because you're her mum and will never ever stop wanting to protect her.

And then, sit down REALLY CALMLY with Anna, and thank her for her generous heart, for how much she sincerely really wants to see you have some good things in your life again, and tell her how much that means to you. And then, explain honestly why you are so frightened by this story - you're not angry, you're frightened - all the things that made this scary - Abby on the streets alone, wondering what she's feeling, not having anyone to come rescue her, also you worrying about this degrading relations with her - not knowing what happened with the friend, (Presumably Abby has feelings about that too). Then tell her you understand why she tried to handle it herself - and then discuss ways in which she could have handled it better, if something like that happens next time.

And tell her you trust her, and EVERYONE makes a bad call once in a while, even adults, but what's important is that Abby is safe, and Anna can learn from this, and then let her come up with a "Game Plan" for scenarios like this.

One thing on the game plan, might be for Anna to have the phone numbers of the family who was supposed to be watching Abby, so she could phone and ask why her sister wasn't with them. Then that family's mum could help rectify what was HER fault.

*HOLDS YOU SO TIGHT*

[kattale]

Oh, and on the Game Plan would OBVIOUSLY be keeping you in the loop, and your promise to stay calm and allow Anna to handle what is within her ability to handle - only abandoning your plans and swooping in to the rescue once Anna has exhausted all her own ideas.

I'm really glad you got some time out with lovely people. Warms my heart, Jill. <3

[saffirebleu]

You are so, so wise. I'm going to do all these things today.

Last night I was just too upset and scared at all the things that could have happened.

Abby is being evasive about why they left her, which makes me feel like she tried to pull a fast one and it backfired on her.

[kattale]

Ah yes. There is always that possibility. Wonder what she hoped to accomplish? Can you talk to the mum (or the kid) and find out what they think happened?

How old is Abby, anyway?

It's not that I'm wise. It's that I'm not seeing this unfold in real time, as the mum of the children involved. I would have a WHOLE different reaction of this were the kitten twins. Kiara is right on her way to the same sly attitude, and I'm feeling pretty helpless about it all.

[saffirebleu]

Abby is 13, with the body of an eighteen year old (seriously her breasts are 34C) and the maturity of a toddler. I am NOT kidding.

I feel helpless, too. *hugs you*