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Anna is moving out again. I think it's for good this time.
I am crushed.
This divorce has completely devastated my little family. I feel as if we are broken beyond repair.
I can only keep trying. I can't give up.
I am crushed.
This divorce has completely devastated my little family. I feel as if we are broken beyond repair.
I can only keep trying. I can't give up.
What happened with Jon was SO not about the lie. It was about a mountain of personal Jon things going on under his skin, that he couldn't express until he found a way to blame it all on you. He handled HIS choices in the worst possible way, and manipulated you into still believing that this was about you. It really, really wasn't, hon.
Perhaps Rachel can be brought on board to help facilitate regular coffee dates. You yourself have observed - what she SAYS when she is lashing out is not what she really thinks. She desperately wants you to show her that she matters and that you love her. She desperately wants to know you miss her and ache for her and that you wish she was home. No matter what she says on the surface ("don't feel like it"), she wants you to come after her and seek out time with her.
She's expressing it poorly, as all teenagers do. But YOU know what the truth is, you know she needs her mama. Don't let her catch you up in the testing and the emotional games - just cut through all that. Send her a letter saying how deeply you love her - I can't say enough how this is essential - and then set a date for coffee. If she says she doesn't want or need it, tell her "But *I* need it. I miss you." That's what she wants to hear. Don't be angry, just let her see your love and hurt. It's okay to do that - it is a sign of emotional health to be able to calmly tell her that you're hurting and miss her and love her. She needs that.
I know, because I was her.
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I am going to write the letter tonight.
Thank you for helping me process this.
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