I hope you've read this

[safewrite]

If you've not seen it, may I recommend Genevieve Valentine's excellent post, "Dealing with It," on her blog. In it, she list the indignities of merely being female and how you are treated differently for being a girl, a young woman.

"These are not the assaults, the beatings, the rapes. These are not the traumas. These are small things, mostly; they

Comments

[joycemocha]

I don't suffer fools gladly, either. I've also had one rape in my past, plus I have been harassed throughout my life for three major reasons--small woman, blond and a big chest. Even when I was at my heaviest and most out of shape, I got harassed. Hell, even when I was pregnant I had to deal with harassment. Am I beautiful? Not really. Small, blond, and big bust.

What I found interesting was that when I started coloring my hair red, the harassment dropped off. Oh, it was still there, but nowhere near the same intensity. My hair stylist (who is as gay as they come) flat out says that he has observed blonds being harassed more than any other hair color because it catches the eye. Arrgh.

Some of the most annoying harassment has happened on the ski slope, not during the week but on weekends. It's never been so bad that I've gone to the Patrol or the lifties for help, but at Timberline I know I could do either. The problem seems to be men in their 30s-40s who don't ski regularly--the younger ones are all either ski bums in awe of someone old enough to be their mother still skiing, or old pharts who are just happy to see a woman their age on the slopes and are entertainingly polite.

Oh, and then there's music venues here in PDX. However, for every harasser I've dealt with (when DH is not there), there's been another guy chuckling on the sidelines who tells the harasser to back off because I'd probably wipe the floor with the harasser. It's never gone past me calling the guy out for attempted casual groping because at least he backs off (and I've shown I'm willing to not be a good girl, will make a scene, will escalate if needed). Again, small woman (5' 3", narrow shoulders, small frame).

And I dunno. From the pix I've seen, I'd definitely call you an attractive woman externally, and damn gorgeous on the inside. I'm very happy you've found your Brian and have achieved what you have--quite frankly, I'm very impressed.

Beauty is not physical. It's on the inside, plain and simple. I've known too many physically gorgeous people who are utter stinkers inside.

[safewrite]

That whole experience of coloring your hair red and experiencing a drop-off in harassment is fascinating to me. So, blondes do NOT have more fun, because they get objectified more readily? How sad.

From the pics you've seen of me.... My default photo here is what I call my Anne Landers photo - sadly out of date but my professional face online. I'm a grandmother twice over and was spontaneously offered a senior citizen's discount last month, something I do not merit for another seven years, BTW. I settle for "well-groomed" most days, but I like my inner self just fine. I'm totally at peace with my appearance and my life. Just as you seem to be. :-)