How come when people post journal entries that suck, they get 50 responses?bestiolesApril 5 2005, 22:57:25 UTC
1) Crunchy is not a flavor. My family still does not understand why I cut out why, when they cut out a coupon for 3 Muskateers chocolate bars, I appropriated it and refused to part with it on the grounds that I needed it in order to back up my belief that people are stupid. The ad had a picture of 2 chocolate bars, and it said: This one tastes light and fluffy. This one tastes free.
The intent was that I was going to think, Whoo! A half-off deal on some god-forsaken flavorless candy bar! I'm headin' down to Kwik Trip lickety-split! But what it really implies is, first off, that you get what you pay for and the 2nd one will taste like a factory reject. Secondarily, that their candy tastes LIGHT, which is in no way a flavor, though it carries connatations of flavorlessness, and FLUFFY, which is also not a flavor. LIGHT AND FLUFFY together are profoundly NOT flavors, and remind me of lint.
2) Of course the chips desire to be eaten. Are you not familiar with the song, "Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner..."? This implies that all things ache to be eaten. That song, by the way, has always seemed grotesque to me. Horrifying. Suicidal. "Just EAT me, god damn it," it says, "I really don't want to go on like this and it'd be easier if you'd just baste me in ketchup and end it all."
On another note, related to this: for a long long time I thought that song "Oh, my Bonnie lies over the ocean, my Bonnie lies over the sea..." was actually "Oh, my Body lies over the ocean, my body lies over the sea..." and I believed it was about cremation and I assumed it was supposed to be sad, so I thought it sucked.
I was sad to realize that was untrue and it was in fact a stupid romance song.
3) What the hell is that? Why are these chips yummy sometimes and vulgar at other times? Do they do it to spite us? Or are they like mood rings, revealing ... some myserious something? Perhaps we only like lime when happy or sad or tired or alone. This sounds like a fine researh project to me.
The intent was that I was going to think, Whoo! A half-off deal on some god-forsaken flavorless candy bar! I'm headin' down to Kwik Trip lickety-split! But what it really implies is, first off, that you get what you pay for and the 2nd one will taste like a factory reject. Secondarily, that their candy tastes LIGHT, which is in no way a flavor, though it carries connatations of flavorlessness, and FLUFFY, which is also not a flavor. LIGHT AND FLUFFY together are profoundly NOT flavors, and remind me of lint.
2) Of course the chips desire to be eaten. Are you not familiar with the song, "Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner..."? This implies that all things ache to be eaten. That song, by the way, has always seemed grotesque to me. Horrifying. Suicidal. "Just EAT me, god damn it," it says, "I really don't want to go on like this and it'd be easier if you'd just baste me in ketchup and end it all."
On another note, related to this: for a long long time I thought that song "Oh, my Bonnie lies over the ocean, my Bonnie lies over the sea..." was actually "Oh, my Body lies over the ocean, my body lies over the sea..." and I believed it was about cremation and I assumed it was supposed to be sad, so I thought it sucked.
I was sad to realize that was untrue and it was in fact a stupid romance song.
3) What the hell is that? Why are these chips yummy sometimes and vulgar at other times? Do they do it to spite us? Or are they like mood rings, revealing ... some myserious something? Perhaps we only like lime when happy or sad or tired or alone. This sounds like a fine researh project to me.
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