Rollin' Ramblin'
So it's been awhile since my last update but these things serve as great spaces for public apologies. With that being said I feel that lately I have been taking things out on people in an extremely harsh manner. I am aware that I have a teenage temper. I feel as though I have acted like an asshole to people as of recent whilst being completely oblivious to it.
I have so many things I'd like to do but I have trouble committing to anything. I just fear staying in Pembroke forever. And I cannot stand this ignorance towards different that seems endemic here. I hate driving down these streets and seeing chain store upon chain store. And I doubt my own future as well. I do not want to go to UMass Dartmouth in the worst way but I know I have to. And in theory my transfer plan is feasible but I doubt myself actually doing it. I wonder if my lazy unmotivated degenerative personality traits are capable of successful plan completion.
Eh, I just need to shut the hell up because I hate complainers and I am being one. I really have nothing to complain about. I just have no self discipline and that is something I would like work on. I mean there are a lot of things I would like to work on. I need to make another B. Franklin chart.
I am just tired of faking moods all day long. I mean being bitter is a terrible way to be but when you feel this way about people and they feel a different way about you, you can't be upset at them for not treating you in the ideal way. But I get bitter and then in my head I'm all fuck you but that's just wrong, really it is. They don't know ya know?
So in thinking optimistically I feel that a change of environment will solve everything but I'm not really sure about that one. And I won't get the change of environment that I want for like another year or two. Whatever I'm sorry, I am aware I am being melodramatic and writing a stereotypical lj entry of bitching. I just hate not knowing what to say all the time.
I have so many things I'd like to do but I have trouble committing to anything. I just fear staying in Pembroke forever. And I cannot stand this ignorance towards different that seems endemic here. I hate driving down these streets and seeing chain store upon chain store. And I doubt my own future as well. I do not want to go to UMass Dartmouth in the worst way but I know I have to. And in theory my transfer plan is feasible but I doubt myself actually doing it. I wonder if my lazy unmotivated degenerative personality traits are capable of successful plan completion.
Eh, I just need to shut the hell up because I hate complainers and I am being one. I really have nothing to complain about. I just have no self discipline and that is something I would like work on. I mean there are a lot of things I would like to work on. I need to make another B. Franklin chart.
I am just tired of faking moods all day long. I mean being bitter is a terrible way to be but when you feel this way about people and they feel a different way about you, you can't be upset at them for not treating you in the ideal way. But I get bitter and then in my head I'm all fuck you but that's just wrong, really it is. They don't know ya know?
So in thinking optimistically I feel that a change of environment will solve everything but I'm not really sure about that one. And I won't get the change of environment that I want for like another year or two. Whatever I'm sorry, I am aware I am being melodramatic and writing a stereotypical lj entry of bitching. I just hate not knowing what to say all the time.