make like a tuk tuk
Singing songs a little too loud for thailand. Sitting in that old uniform of mine, with those old black shoes, and the best fried rice in town. Thai music in my ear, too many cha yens. Cambodia and back. Bangkok and back. Climbing mountains at 1 am and getting to the top covered in sweat at 6. The moon was so bright and the climb was so steep. Speaking thai. Thai friends with tears in their eyes telling me to remeber them in my heart. Temples scraping the sky. Sidestreets and lazy dogs never moving for motorbikes. Yellow sunsets melting the mountains. And me just sitting and watching it all happen for me and hoping to never go home. 4 months feels like 4 hours. too soon. more goodbyes. more everything. home, home again but i am not even capable of imagining what that will be like. this is sort of like the same as it was four months before I left, i wrote some awful entry that just said fuck a lot. Because thats about as far as my brain gets when i think about anything anymore. fuck. nothing more. my brain is empty. Filled with elephants and pineapple instead. Pad thai and jamba. And here I am, wasting away infront of a humming computer screen like the rest of the world with nothing better to do. Facebook and myspace and livejournal are killing everyones brains and no one even thinks anymore. Me inclded, because here I am. wasting away at the computer, poking around, seeing what people at home are up to when really all of these pictures people post and words they write dont even make sense to me anymore. I cant even remember life before this. this being now. right now. where i am. sittting in a chair on the second floor of a yamaha shop on trerat rd in chanthaburi in thailand in asia. That is where i am right now. soon ill go to bed. soon my dreams will be filled with moments from home that never last long enough. Dreams of montreal and university and my dog. But there are always songtaos in my dreams and tuk tuks and street vendors. Driving back down bedford park is going to be the strangest feeling of all time. It'll be summer when I get home but Ill still be cold in Canada. People here think it snows all year. My host dad says he's coming home with me. I have to move our of this house in 19 days and that is just sad. I love this fam a whole lot. They said I can move back in a year. I said Id love to. The last 6 months have gone by faster than i ever thought and the next four will all just be a memory in no time.