Happy Holidays, Ch3
Title: Happy Holidays, Ch3: St. Patty's Day
Fandom: Megaman
Characters/pairings: X, Zero
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Even Reploids can get drunk.
Warnings: Implied slash, retardation
Notes: Old writing, from waaaaay back in the day, in it's mostly original format (very minor corrections may have been made)
o o o
X woke up, slightly groggy. By habit, he checked his internal clock. March seventeenth, 21XX. A Saturday. No work. Happily, X pulled the blankets back over his head and prepared to go back to sleep. A small noise alerted his attention. He stuck his head out and looked towards the foot of the bed. A pair of blue eyes, topped by blond hair, looked over the edge back at him. X blinked at the odd sight. A hand crept over the edge of the bed and under the blanket. X let out a loud yelp when the hand delivered a sharp pinch to his leg.
“Wakie!” Zero sang, bouncing up with a large grin. He was dressed in green, head to toe. X rubbed his sore leg and glared up at his friend. “Top O’ the morning’ to ya, lad!” Zero cackled in a bad Irish accent. “’Tis St. Patty’s day!”
X whipped a pillow at the blond Hunters head. “Asshole!” he snapped. “That hurt! What was that for?”
“Y’ain’t wearing green.” Zero replied.
“I am too!”
“Prove it.” Zero reached down and grabbed X’s blanket, pulling it off the bed. X was left in his boxers- which were red with little green happy-face clovers. X shrieked and covered himself with the other pillow to give himself some modesty.
“Hmm, guess you are. Sorry.” Zero said, turning and heading out the door. “Hurry and get dressed. And wear your green where it can be seen!” He closed the door behind him and strolled down the hall, whistling.
X grumbled and examined his leg. “Probably going to get a bruise.” he mumbled. Shaking his head, he walked to his dresser to search for any green clothing he owned.
Finally X looked in the mirror, satisfied. Light green socks, dark green pants, neon green shirt and emerald eyes. If anyone pinched him, they were getting thrown through a wall. The blue turned green hunter opened his door to see Zero leaning against the wall across the hall, a large plastic green clover blinking on his shirt. It said “Kiss me, I’m Irish.”
X gave zero an odd look as they walked down the hall. “If anyone’s Irish here, it’s me, not you.” X had a point. With his red hair and wide green eyes, he definitely had the look of someone from the Emerald Isles.
“I know.” Zero said. “It’s for you.” he removed the clover from his own shirt and attached it to X’s.
At that moment, they entered the crowded main lobby of the base. “XIE!” squealed a female voice. “Lookie, it says ‘kiss me‘!” A hoard of women (dotted with a few men as well) surged towards the Hunter. X looked around wildly, for any escape, but Zero was gone and the other halls were blocked off by the crowd. With a yelp X turned and bolted the way he’d come, closely pursued by a hormone driven crowd.
When the stampede was gone, Zero dropped from the ceiling, where he had been hanging upside down. He grinned as he listened to the sounds of chaos echoing in the halls. “God, I love that move.” he muttered.
o o o
“Oh, come on, X. Lighten up!” Zero said, munching on a hamburger.
“Lighten up?” X asked in disbelief. “I just spent the entire morning being chased by a crowd of randy women!”
“There were guys in there, too.” Zero said nonchalantly.
“I don’t believe you!” X exclaimed. “How can you ruin a person’s morning so-so calmly!”
Zero put down his hamburger and leaned forward. “Christmas Eve. My bedroom. You and Frost Walrus. A frigging ton of snow and slush and ice. Ring a bell?”
X grinned at the memory. The prank had been worth the week long toilet duty it had earned. “Ok,” he said, waving his hand. “We’re even. But come on!” I mean, did you have to set the stampede on me?”
“Hey!” Zero said defensively. “I was pissed when I found my mattress in a broom closet! How’d you guys get that in there, anyway?”
“Wasn’t me,” X said. “Frost took care of that. Ask him.”
“Can’t. He went Mav last week.”
“Sucky. Guess you’ll never know.”
o o o
“Let’s go!”
“But I don’t like to get drunk…”
“X, don’t be a wuss! “St. Patrick’s day is FOR getting drunk!” Zero tugged on X’s arm. “How ya gonna celebrate if ya don’t get blitzed?”
X’s eyes went wide when he saw the sign over the door. “Z-zero!” he stuttered. “There’s a strip joint in here!”
“All the better!” Zero replied cheerfully, half dragging X inside. “You need to stop being so shy!”
Thankfully for X, the strippers were in a different room than the main bar. Zero plopped X at a table and went to get drunks. When he came back, he handed X a mug of something--green.
“What the heck is this stuff?”
“Shenanigan’s green beer.” Zero replied.
“You know, if something that’s normally brown is green, something is wrong…”
“Suit yourself.”
X took a tentative sip. “Hey, not bad,” he said. “A bit minty…”
Within an hour and a half, X was drunk. Not just a little tipsy, he was swaying like a sailor. He looked up, squinting, just in time to see Zero disappear through the door of the strip room. X followed, nearly crashing into people.
X sat himself at a table, watching the show on stage. “Hmmm…” he mumbled. “I didn’t know that was possible. Oh, her legs are hinged the other way, that’s why….”
“X!” Zero shouted, staggering up to the red-head and clapping him on the shoulder. “How the hell are ya? Want something to drink? Your treat.”
X dug around in his pocket and handed Zero some money. Zero slowly counted the cash and frowned. “Aw, come on, X!” He whined. “I didn’t want to get you something small! I wanted to get you a big beer!”
“Big beer?”
“Big Beer!”
“Big Beer!”
“Big Beer!”
X handed Zero a fist full of cash. “How bout some food? You get me some food, too, huh?”
“Big food?”
“Big food!”
“Hey, you want a woman?”
“A woman?”
“I buy you woman!”
“That woman?”
“That woman!”
“Beer, food and woman!”
“Wait, that’s Dynamo, not a woman.”
“Beer, food and Dynamo!”
“Beer, food and Dynamo!”
“Huzzah!”
o o o
X awoke with a low groan. His head was pounding, his stomach was queasy and something funny sat on his head. He opened his eyes. Everything was tinted red. He reached up and pulled-whatever it was-off his head. He blinked at the object in his hands for a long moment. It was Dynamo’s helmet. Blinking, the Hunter sat up and looked at the chaos.
He was lying halfway inside his own closet, again wearing only his clover boxers. His mattress was half off the bed, Zero flung over it, wearing only black undies. Dynamo was stretched out on the floor, his thumb in his mouth and his leg being used as Zero’s pillow. The mercenary was wearing a blue cowboy hat and a black mini-skirt.
Suddenly the door slammed open to reveal a very irate, very sober Signas. The Hunter Commander strode in the room, glaring around amidst the groans from the waking Reploids.
Dynamo rolled over, his hat falling off, to stare upside down at the fuming Signas. “Heyyy…..Bubba!” he drawled. “We are currently disconnected. Come back when power has been restored, sometime around noon.”
“It’s three O’clock, PM.” Signas replied coldly.
“Aw, come on, Bubba,” Zero slurred, attempting to stand-and failing. “Let us sleep. We had a rough night.”
“I should say so!” Signas snapped. “Trashing the bar, spray painting ‘Sigma is a porn-star’ all over the base, holding a karaoke contest over my PA system, I couldn’t believe it! I could expect that from Tinkerbell here, and maybe Zero, but I though you had better sense, X!”
“Sense go bie bie when you drink the green beer,” X mumbled. Zero sniggered.
Signas fixed his cold gaze on Dynamo. “You have five minutes to get off of my base before I have you dismembered. Understand?”
“Shore do!” Dynamo drawled in a bad southern accent. He stood and gave Signas a large kiss on the cheek. “Dun worrah, Sugah. Y’all won’t see hide, nor hair o me in a li’l whail!”
Signas shoved Dynamo away in disgust and stalked out. Dynamo flashed Zero a grin and bent over X. “I guess the rumors about you were wrong,” he said coyly. “You sure demolished the ‘Mr. Innocent , Naïve and Shy’ notion real well, didn’t ya?” He winked and turned, pausing only to pick up his hat before sashaying from the room.
X blinked in confusion, then turned to Zero. “What the heck?” The red-head asked in confusion.
“You don’t remember?”
“No…”
“Then never mind. It wasn’t that important anyway,” Zero replied, standing and making it this time. “But it WAS fun…”
“Wait!” X called, scrambling to his feet to follow his friend. “What was fun?”
“I told you, it wasn’t important!”
“Wait! Zero, what wasn’t?” Zero! ZERO!”
Fandom: Megaman
Characters/pairings: X, Zero
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Even Reploids can get drunk.
Warnings: Implied slash, retardation
Notes: Old writing, from waaaaay back in the day, in it's mostly original format (very minor corrections may have been made)
o o o
X woke up, slightly groggy. By habit, he checked his internal clock. March seventeenth, 21XX. A Saturday. No work. Happily, X pulled the blankets back over his head and prepared to go back to sleep. A small noise alerted his attention. He stuck his head out and looked towards the foot of the bed. A pair of blue eyes, topped by blond hair, looked over the edge back at him. X blinked at the odd sight. A hand crept over the edge of the bed and under the blanket. X let out a loud yelp when the hand delivered a sharp pinch to his leg.
“Wakie!” Zero sang, bouncing up with a large grin. He was dressed in green, head to toe. X rubbed his sore leg and glared up at his friend. “Top O’ the morning’ to ya, lad!” Zero cackled in a bad Irish accent. “’Tis St. Patty’s day!”
X whipped a pillow at the blond Hunters head. “Asshole!” he snapped. “That hurt! What was that for?”
“Y’ain’t wearing green.” Zero replied.
“I am too!”
“Prove it.” Zero reached down and grabbed X’s blanket, pulling it off the bed. X was left in his boxers- which were red with little green happy-face clovers. X shrieked and covered himself with the other pillow to give himself some modesty.
“Hmm, guess you are. Sorry.” Zero said, turning and heading out the door. “Hurry and get dressed. And wear your green where it can be seen!” He closed the door behind him and strolled down the hall, whistling.
X grumbled and examined his leg. “Probably going to get a bruise.” he mumbled. Shaking his head, he walked to his dresser to search for any green clothing he owned.
Finally X looked in the mirror, satisfied. Light green socks, dark green pants, neon green shirt and emerald eyes. If anyone pinched him, they were getting thrown through a wall. The blue turned green hunter opened his door to see Zero leaning against the wall across the hall, a large plastic green clover blinking on his shirt. It said “Kiss me, I’m Irish.”
X gave zero an odd look as they walked down the hall. “If anyone’s Irish here, it’s me, not you.” X had a point. With his red hair and wide green eyes, he definitely had the look of someone from the Emerald Isles.
“I know.” Zero said. “It’s for you.” he removed the clover from his own shirt and attached it to X’s.
At that moment, they entered the crowded main lobby of the base. “XIE!” squealed a female voice. “Lookie, it says ‘kiss me‘!” A hoard of women (dotted with a few men as well) surged towards the Hunter. X looked around wildly, for any escape, but Zero was gone and the other halls were blocked off by the crowd. With a yelp X turned and bolted the way he’d come, closely pursued by a hormone driven crowd.
When the stampede was gone, Zero dropped from the ceiling, where he had been hanging upside down. He grinned as he listened to the sounds of chaos echoing in the halls. “God, I love that move.” he muttered.
o o o
“Oh, come on, X. Lighten up!” Zero said, munching on a hamburger.
“Lighten up?” X asked in disbelief. “I just spent the entire morning being chased by a crowd of randy women!”
“There were guys in there, too.” Zero said nonchalantly.
“I don’t believe you!” X exclaimed. “How can you ruin a person’s morning so-so calmly!”
Zero put down his hamburger and leaned forward. “Christmas Eve. My bedroom. You and Frost Walrus. A frigging ton of snow and slush and ice. Ring a bell?”
X grinned at the memory. The prank had been worth the week long toilet duty it had earned. “Ok,” he said, waving his hand. “We’re even. But come on!” I mean, did you have to set the stampede on me?”
“Hey!” Zero said defensively. “I was pissed when I found my mattress in a broom closet! How’d you guys get that in there, anyway?”
“Wasn’t me,” X said. “Frost took care of that. Ask him.”
“Can’t. He went Mav last week.”
“Sucky. Guess you’ll never know.”
o o o
“Let’s go!”
“But I don’t like to get drunk…”
“X, don’t be a wuss! “St. Patrick’s day is FOR getting drunk!” Zero tugged on X’s arm. “How ya gonna celebrate if ya don’t get blitzed?”
X’s eyes went wide when he saw the sign over the door. “Z-zero!” he stuttered. “There’s a strip joint in here!”
“All the better!” Zero replied cheerfully, half dragging X inside. “You need to stop being so shy!”
Thankfully for X, the strippers were in a different room than the main bar. Zero plopped X at a table and went to get drunks. When he came back, he handed X a mug of something--green.
“What the heck is this stuff?”
“Shenanigan’s green beer.” Zero replied.
“You know, if something that’s normally brown is green, something is wrong…”
“Suit yourself.”
X took a tentative sip. “Hey, not bad,” he said. “A bit minty…”
Within an hour and a half, X was drunk. Not just a little tipsy, he was swaying like a sailor. He looked up, squinting, just in time to see Zero disappear through the door of the strip room. X followed, nearly crashing into people.
X sat himself at a table, watching the show on stage. “Hmmm…” he mumbled. “I didn’t know that was possible. Oh, her legs are hinged the other way, that’s why….”
“X!” Zero shouted, staggering up to the red-head and clapping him on the shoulder. “How the hell are ya? Want something to drink? Your treat.”
X dug around in his pocket and handed Zero some money. Zero slowly counted the cash and frowned. “Aw, come on, X!” He whined. “I didn’t want to get you something small! I wanted to get you a big beer!”
“Big beer?”
“Big Beer!”
“Big Beer!”
“Big Beer!”
X handed Zero a fist full of cash. “How bout some food? You get me some food, too, huh?”
“Big food?”
“Big food!”
“Hey, you want a woman?”
“A woman?”
“I buy you woman!”
“That woman?”
“That woman!”
“Beer, food and woman!”
“Wait, that’s Dynamo, not a woman.”
“Beer, food and Dynamo!”
“Beer, food and Dynamo!”
“Huzzah!”
o o o
X awoke with a low groan. His head was pounding, his stomach was queasy and something funny sat on his head. He opened his eyes. Everything was tinted red. He reached up and pulled-whatever it was-off his head. He blinked at the object in his hands for a long moment. It was Dynamo’s helmet. Blinking, the Hunter sat up and looked at the chaos.
He was lying halfway inside his own closet, again wearing only his clover boxers. His mattress was half off the bed, Zero flung over it, wearing only black undies. Dynamo was stretched out on the floor, his thumb in his mouth and his leg being used as Zero’s pillow. The mercenary was wearing a blue cowboy hat and a black mini-skirt.
Suddenly the door slammed open to reveal a very irate, very sober Signas. The Hunter Commander strode in the room, glaring around amidst the groans from the waking Reploids.
Dynamo rolled over, his hat falling off, to stare upside down at the fuming Signas. “Heyyy…..Bubba!” he drawled. “We are currently disconnected. Come back when power has been restored, sometime around noon.”
“It’s three O’clock, PM.” Signas replied coldly.
“Aw, come on, Bubba,” Zero slurred, attempting to stand-and failing. “Let us sleep. We had a rough night.”
“I should say so!” Signas snapped. “Trashing the bar, spray painting ‘Sigma is a porn-star’ all over the base, holding a karaoke contest over my PA system, I couldn’t believe it! I could expect that from Tinkerbell here, and maybe Zero, but I though you had better sense, X!”
“Sense go bie bie when you drink the green beer,” X mumbled. Zero sniggered.
Signas fixed his cold gaze on Dynamo. “You have five minutes to get off of my base before I have you dismembered. Understand?”
“Shore do!” Dynamo drawled in a bad southern accent. He stood and gave Signas a large kiss on the cheek. “Dun worrah, Sugah. Y’all won’t see hide, nor hair o me in a li’l whail!”
Signas shoved Dynamo away in disgust and stalked out. Dynamo flashed Zero a grin and bent over X. “I guess the rumors about you were wrong,” he said coyly. “You sure demolished the ‘Mr. Innocent , Naïve and Shy’ notion real well, didn’t ya?” He winked and turned, pausing only to pick up his hat before sashaying from the room.
X blinked in confusion, then turned to Zero. “What the heck?” The red-head asked in confusion.
“You don’t remember?”
“No…”
“Then never mind. It wasn’t that important anyway,” Zero replied, standing and making it this time. “But it WAS fun…”
“Wait!” X called, scrambling to his feet to follow his friend. “What was fun?”
“I told you, it wasn’t important!”
“Wait! Zero, what wasn’t?” Zero! ZERO!”