Singers have the most Freudian rehearsals ever.
Jacked from Mr. Jackson's Facebook page:
Choral Directors:
"Sopranos, ride the basses."
"Sopranos, enjoy the basses from behind."
"You've got to enjoy a creamy ending."
Courtesy of Dr. Joe Miller, Florence 2008
"Sopranos, let's start with 'your breasts'"
"Balls!!!!"
"Basses! Do the sopranos with your mouth, then do the altos with your mouth and you shouldn't have any problems coming in."
"If you'd look up, you'd see the ritard."
Courtesy of Dr. Dirk Garner
"Crescitten. Did I just say Crescitten? This was supposed to be written crescendo... You're crescitten me!"
"Men, you have to be careful when you are holding your... ... !!!" "Dongs!?!?!"
(Courtesy of Mr. J himself)
ETA: More stories can be found on this Facebook group, whose premise I totally agree with, incidentally. (Also, solfege is actually VERY useful for sight singing, for whoever might still be using the random syllable system...)
Also, there is some music that I think all of you who claim to have souls should listen to:
-Igor Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. There are seriously no words to describe it. The opening bassoon notes freeze you in place before the rest of the orchestra takes you by the throat and pins you to the back of the wall until it's good and finished expressing what it has to express.
"... The wise elders are seated in a circle and are observing the dance before death of the girl whom they are offering as a sacrifice to the god of Spring in order to gain his benevolence," said Stravinsky.
It's scary and breathtaking. Also, the story of its opening is hilariously surreal; it caused riots between the people who hated it (morons, of course :P), and the people who enjoyed it.
-The second movement of Beethoven's 7th Symphony. If the Old Testament God had a throne room, this would be its soundtrack.
-John Adams' On the Transmigration of Souls. The names of the people who died in the World Trade Center, the word 'missing', and snippets of descriptions and interviews superimposed over a choral/orchestral piece that goes everywhere from the standard requiem to musical settings of the descriptions to waves of sound that wouldn't be out of place in a horror film. This piece won the 2003 Pulitzer Prize in music.
-Departing from the dramatic/scary theme these two preceding pieces have: Fireflies, by Owl City. This song is what's known as a musical Crowning Moment of Heartwarming. You would not believe your eyes / If ten million fireflies / Lit up the world as I fell asleep... 'Cause I'd get ten thousand hugs / From ten thousand lightning bugs / As they try to teach me how to dance."
Choral Directors:
"Sopranos, ride the basses."
"Sopranos, enjoy the basses from behind."
"You've got to enjoy a creamy ending."
Courtesy of Dr. Joe Miller, Florence 2008
"Sopranos, let's start with 'your breasts'"
"Balls!!!!"
"Basses! Do the sopranos with your mouth, then do the altos with your mouth and you shouldn't have any problems coming in."
"If you'd look up, you'd see the ritard."
Courtesy of Dr. Dirk Garner
"Crescitten. Did I just say Crescitten? This was supposed to be written crescendo... You're crescitten me!"
"Men, you have to be careful when you are holding your... ... !!!" "Dongs!?!?!"
(Courtesy of Mr. J himself)
ETA: More stories can be found on this Facebook group, whose premise I totally agree with, incidentally. (Also, solfege is actually VERY useful for sight singing, for whoever might still be using the random syllable system...)
Also, there is some music that I think all of you who claim to have souls should listen to:
-Igor Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. There are seriously no words to describe it. The opening bassoon notes freeze you in place before the rest of the orchestra takes you by the throat and pins you to the back of the wall until it's good and finished expressing what it has to express.
"... The wise elders are seated in a circle and are observing the dance before death of the girl whom they are offering as a sacrifice to the god of Spring in order to gain his benevolence," said Stravinsky.
It's scary and breathtaking. Also, the story of its opening is hilariously surreal; it caused riots between the people who hated it (morons, of course :P), and the people who enjoyed it.
-The second movement of Beethoven's 7th Symphony. If the Old Testament God had a throne room, this would be its soundtrack.
-John Adams' On the Transmigration of Souls. The names of the people who died in the World Trade Center, the word 'missing', and snippets of descriptions and interviews superimposed over a choral/orchestral piece that goes everywhere from the standard requiem to musical settings of the descriptions to waves of sound that wouldn't be out of place in a horror film. This piece won the 2003 Pulitzer Prize in music.
-Departing from the dramatic/scary theme these two preceding pieces have: Fireflies, by Owl City. This song is what's known as a musical Crowning Moment of Heartwarming. You would not believe your eyes / If ten million fireflies / Lit up the world as I fell asleep... 'Cause I'd get ten thousand hugs / From ten thousand lightning bugs / As they try to teach me how to dance."