Composite entry: Race, worries, and what I've been up to
I learned today about a really unfortunate occurrence that happened on campus, which centers around racial discrimination. One of my classmates organized a fashion show this semester, which was held a couple of weeks ago. The student, like most of the show's organizers, is black (although the models were of all different races). Apparently, on the day of the show, one of the administrators overseeing the activity informed this student that Public Safety was bringing in 2 extra sheriffs to cover the event- which on the surface isn't so bad, except the reason the woman gave was that the event was going to bring in outsiders who would "bring violence to our campus" (by which she meant African-American students from a nearby Historically Black College).
Of course, the student was offended by this implication. And on top of it all, the event was not out-of-control in the slightest; another classmate who attended said everyone was quieter and more well-behaved than she expected an audience at a fashion show to be, and the rowdiest people present were a small group of high school girls dancing around to the music. So the assumptions of Public Safety were completely unjustified, and if the administrator's comments were any indication, entirely motivated by race. And that is really upsetting.
I don't say this to cast a bad light on my college, because it is a place that I love dearly (otherwise I wouldn't be a tour guide there, or spend so much time here boasting about how great it is). We're kind of a hippie college, so everyone's very chill and welcoming and accepting of all kinds of people. Sure, we're not as ethnically diverse as I'd like us to be, but I think the diversity has increased in the three years I've been here, and will continue to do so. We're not any worse in terms of prejudices than other colleges and universities; in fact, I think we're much better about this sort of thing than other places. But we do have some people with narrow-minded views, and sometimes it shows. I'm posting about it because I think when these things do occur, we shouldn't sweep them under the table. I wanted to talk about it, get it out there, because that's the best way to address the problem. My professor and the offended student planned to go speak to the Associate Provosts immediately after class, so the higher administration will know about it, and they're thinking of holding some kind of speak-out. It seems like a lot for just one event, but I think it's worthwhile- if we don't make it clear that we won't accept this kind of thing, it indicates a sort of implied permission. As long as it's careful to avoid becoming a cycle of blame, a public rally/forum could do a lot of good. So that's why I wanted to share that.
So, um, busy busy busy this weekend! Today was the most freaktastically beautiful day. I wore a skirt, and it was the perfect weather for it. I did have to get up an hour earlier than usual this morning, because the Admissions office was having an Accepted Students Day, and I was helping out by hanging out at the Academic Building Visits (where prospectives can talk with faculty and wander the academic buildings) and answering questions. In between my two "shifts," I went to class and got a 100% on a quiz! :)
Today was also the Jane Austen Society spring picnic, which was a really fun time. It was a big day for club "parties"; the Sailing Club was having their barbecue get-together on the other side of the hill we were on, and it was fun hearing their rock music conflicting with our classical. ;) I came in last in croquet, but that was all right. Afterwards I went to Robyn's senior recital, which just affirmed how utterly amazing she is. She wore a different dress for the 1st and 2nd halves of her set, and the white one she had on during the 1st half was just stunning. Her theme was "Night and Dreams," and she sang a lot of beautiful pieces, commanding the stage for each one of them.
Also, let it be known that Dan Blair is following me. I saw him when I was working this morning, on my way to lunch, when I was working again in the afternoon, and at Robyn's senior recital. It was pretty funny. I see him a lot in general these days, though, which is good since this is his last semester. I haven't had time to visit many people recently, so it's good to meet up with them as often as possible.
As the semester winds to a close, I'm starting to feel more rushed and stressed, which leads to a sense of just wanting it to be over already so I can go home and do all the stuff I have piling up there (old magazines to read, papers to sort through, a driver's license to get, etc.). I don't like that feeling, because I feel like it means I'm not really enjoying the time I have left in the school year. The work, which is supposed to be stimulating and fulfilling, just gets heavy and urgent. I don't want the next 3 weeks to go by without my really experiencing them. But I just feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to really take my time and give everything the thought it needs.
I feel like this also affects the way I'm dealing with my friends. For the last month or so, it seems like almost all of my friends have been going through some sort of hard time or seriously bad experience. Also, all throughout this semester there seems to be a staggering increase in the negativity everyone's been expressing for other people (and things). I know I've mentioned this before, rather recently in fact, but it stuns me a little that I've heard about so much bad feeling in such a short period of time. I want to be there for my friends when they're going through this stuff, both the interpersonal issues and the more serious experiences, but as this week has gone on I've begun to feel like everything in my life is one step away from getting completely out of my control, and I'm afraid of disturbing that precarious balance. I want to devote some of my energy to other people, but I'm worried that there isn't even enough for myself, and what I've got has to last 3 weeks still.
So I offer hugs, and simple supportive messages, and any other small things I can as the day progresses, but I worry that it's not enough. And then I worry that things are my fault because I didn't do more, but it's such a catch-22. It's either deal with these feelings of guilt, or risk falling impossibly behind on my own life, which I've done in the past and suffered the consequences. I've experienced the negatives to both these options in the last two years, and I'm doubting they can be reconciled. So I have to choose one, and right now I'm looking towards the finish line. If I can get there, at least something will have been accomplished. At least that's where I am right now.
No particular reason for saying all that; it's just stuff that's been running around my head for a while. I thought it needed to be put on the page.
It's only 12:30, but I'm so tired right now! I've been up since 8:30 and I'm really feeling it. Tomorrow's busy too, and I think I might go to bed pretty early tonight. God knows I can use the rest. ;)
Sarah
Of course, the student was offended by this implication. And on top of it all, the event was not out-of-control in the slightest; another classmate who attended said everyone was quieter and more well-behaved than she expected an audience at a fashion show to be, and the rowdiest people present were a small group of high school girls dancing around to the music. So the assumptions of Public Safety were completely unjustified, and if the administrator's comments were any indication, entirely motivated by race. And that is really upsetting.
I don't say this to cast a bad light on my college, because it is a place that I love dearly (otherwise I wouldn't be a tour guide there, or spend so much time here boasting about how great it is). We're kind of a hippie college, so everyone's very chill and welcoming and accepting of all kinds of people. Sure, we're not as ethnically diverse as I'd like us to be, but I think the diversity has increased in the three years I've been here, and will continue to do so. We're not any worse in terms of prejudices than other colleges and universities; in fact, I think we're much better about this sort of thing than other places. But we do have some people with narrow-minded views, and sometimes it shows. I'm posting about it because I think when these things do occur, we shouldn't sweep them under the table. I wanted to talk about it, get it out there, because that's the best way to address the problem. My professor and the offended student planned to go speak to the Associate Provosts immediately after class, so the higher administration will know about it, and they're thinking of holding some kind of speak-out. It seems like a lot for just one event, but I think it's worthwhile- if we don't make it clear that we won't accept this kind of thing, it indicates a sort of implied permission. As long as it's careful to avoid becoming a cycle of blame, a public rally/forum could do a lot of good. So that's why I wanted to share that.
So, um, busy busy busy this weekend! Today was the most freaktastically beautiful day. I wore a skirt, and it was the perfect weather for it. I did have to get up an hour earlier than usual this morning, because the Admissions office was having an Accepted Students Day, and I was helping out by hanging out at the Academic Building Visits (where prospectives can talk with faculty and wander the academic buildings) and answering questions. In between my two "shifts," I went to class and got a 100% on a quiz! :)
Today was also the Jane Austen Society spring picnic, which was a really fun time. It was a big day for club "parties"; the Sailing Club was having their barbecue get-together on the other side of the hill we were on, and it was fun hearing their rock music conflicting with our classical. ;) I came in last in croquet, but that was all right. Afterwards I went to Robyn's senior recital, which just affirmed how utterly amazing she is. She wore a different dress for the 1st and 2nd halves of her set, and the white one she had on during the 1st half was just stunning. Her theme was "Night and Dreams," and she sang a lot of beautiful pieces, commanding the stage for each one of them.
Also, let it be known that Dan Blair is following me. I saw him when I was working this morning, on my way to lunch, when I was working again in the afternoon, and at Robyn's senior recital. It was pretty funny. I see him a lot in general these days, though, which is good since this is his last semester. I haven't had time to visit many people recently, so it's good to meet up with them as often as possible.
As the semester winds to a close, I'm starting to feel more rushed and stressed, which leads to a sense of just wanting it to be over already so I can go home and do all the stuff I have piling up there (old magazines to read, papers to sort through, a driver's license to get, etc.). I don't like that feeling, because I feel like it means I'm not really enjoying the time I have left in the school year. The work, which is supposed to be stimulating and fulfilling, just gets heavy and urgent. I don't want the next 3 weeks to go by without my really experiencing them. But I just feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to really take my time and give everything the thought it needs.
I feel like this also affects the way I'm dealing with my friends. For the last month or so, it seems like almost all of my friends have been going through some sort of hard time or seriously bad experience. Also, all throughout this semester there seems to be a staggering increase in the negativity everyone's been expressing for other people (and things). I know I've mentioned this before, rather recently in fact, but it stuns me a little that I've heard about so much bad feeling in such a short period of time. I want to be there for my friends when they're going through this stuff, both the interpersonal issues and the more serious experiences, but as this week has gone on I've begun to feel like everything in my life is one step away from getting completely out of my control, and I'm afraid of disturbing that precarious balance. I want to devote some of my energy to other people, but I'm worried that there isn't even enough for myself, and what I've got has to last 3 weeks still.
So I offer hugs, and simple supportive messages, and any other small things I can as the day progresses, but I worry that it's not enough. And then I worry that things are my fault because I didn't do more, but it's such a catch-22. It's either deal with these feelings of guilt, or risk falling impossibly behind on my own life, which I've done in the past and suffered the consequences. I've experienced the negatives to both these options in the last two years, and I'm doubting they can be reconciled. So I have to choose one, and right now I'm looking towards the finish line. If I can get there, at least something will have been accomplished. At least that's where I am right now.
No particular reason for saying all that; it's just stuff that's been running around my head for a while. I thought it needed to be put on the page.
It's only 12:30, but I'm so tired right now! I've been up since 8:30 and I'm really feeling it. Tomorrow's busy too, and I think I might go to bed pretty early tonight. God knows I can use the rest. ;)
Sarah