One phone call
Posted in vent
But it belongs here too
free thought anger
I hate you so much
I knew you would call you son of a bitch
you fuck head
how dare you try and guilt trip me
I was feeling good for the first time in a week
I was going to come home
Talk to people
work on my story
Work through my issues
Get something done
Instead tonight
Even though I'm exhausted
I'm going to not sleep
I'm going to get up at 5 am
and work my ass off until 4:30 pm
Until I can't feel my legs
and my arms are bruised and sore
and my back aches
and then I'm going to come home and play with MY son
I am going to work off all this hate
Then I'm finally delete your number
so I can stop having the urge to call you back
and start screaming
I already did that once tonight
After I listened to your message
I turned my radio up all the way
and screamed as loud as I could at a red light
my throat hurts
But it made me feel better
Not once did you prove you were sorry for what you had done
Not until I was walking out the door did you get off your ass
and take me seriously
Even now not even once have you ever called me to tell me your sorry
unless you wanted something from me .
Oh No, you arrogant son of a bitch
Instead you act as if I am in the wrong
You like to pretend that I'm the bitch
the one who needs to learn a lesson
and grow up
I already learned my lesson
I learned it when I gave you everything
More than my heart and body
I gave you my soul
I alienated my parents and my friends
all for you
I placed my faith love and trust in you
And when I became pregnant
I dedicated my life to you
and in return you destroyed me and everything we had
you broke my trust in every sense of the word
God I hate you
Because I loved you so much
and a part of me still wants you here
to be a family
But Ive learned Wayne
I Grew Up
And I realized that will never happen
And now I'm going to be stronger than you ever gave me credit for
Not today not tomorrow
Maybe not this year
But one day
I'll forgive you
I'll grow past these bitter feelings of hate and pain
to where one phone call won't bring my world down
I know you'll never understand
You never could
and I know that now
I see your flaws, tricks, and lies in broad daylight.
I will learn
I will forgive you
I will let go
No longer will I hate you
No longer will I love you
and until that day I will do whats best for me
and MY son
I will hang up the phone
I know I said I'd never keep our son from you
...
I lied
Now if you'll excuse me Im going to go watch
pretty Asian people with magical powers
fly across my screen
But it belongs here too
free thought anger
I hate you so much
I knew you would call you son of a bitch
you fuck head
how dare you try and guilt trip me
I was feeling good for the first time in a week
I was going to come home
Talk to people
work on my story
Work through my issues
Get something done
Instead tonight
Even though I'm exhausted
I'm going to not sleep
I'm going to get up at 5 am
and work my ass off until 4:30 pm
Until I can't feel my legs
and my arms are bruised and sore
and my back aches
and then I'm going to come home and play with MY son
I am going to work off all this hate
Then I'm finally delete your number
so I can stop having the urge to call you back
and start screaming
I already did that once tonight
After I listened to your message
I turned my radio up all the way
and screamed as loud as I could at a red light
my throat hurts
But it made me feel better
Not once did you prove you were sorry for what you had done
Not until I was walking out the door did you get off your ass
and take me seriously
Even now not even once have you ever called me to tell me your sorry
unless you wanted something from me .
Oh No, you arrogant son of a bitch
Instead you act as if I am in the wrong
You like to pretend that I'm the bitch
the one who needs to learn a lesson
and grow up
I already learned my lesson
I learned it when I gave you everything
More than my heart and body
I gave you my soul
I alienated my parents and my friends
all for you
I placed my faith love and trust in you
And when I became pregnant
I dedicated my life to you
and in return you destroyed me and everything we had
you broke my trust in every sense of the word
God I hate you
Because I loved you so much
and a part of me still wants you here
to be a family
But Ive learned Wayne
I Grew Up
And I realized that will never happen
And now I'm going to be stronger than you ever gave me credit for
Not today not tomorrow
Maybe not this year
But one day
I'll forgive you
I'll grow past these bitter feelings of hate and pain
to where one phone call won't bring my world down
I know you'll never understand
You never could
and I know that now
I see your flaws, tricks, and lies in broad daylight.
I will learn
I will forgive you
I will let go
No longer will I hate you
No longer will I love you
and until that day I will do whats best for me
and MY son
I will hang up the phone
I know I said I'd never keep our son from you
...
I lied
Now if you'll excuse me Im going to go watch
pretty Asian people with magical powers
fly across my screen