(no subject)
So instead of just holing myself up in my room and hissing at anyone who comes near, I thought I would actually try and write a real update instead of just a rants and moping. (Seriously Nickelodeon should have done better with the Avatar movie. Didn't they realize that half the fan-base would be adults?)
Okay first thing's first I suppose. Work
I still Love my Job. I do take advantage of the fact that I can work whenever I want, but still, when I work I work hard and I do enjoy it when I fix things. Five other interns and the girl with the least computer experience is the one that gets the most done. That's why I'm getting paid to do it. I think I'm allowed to be a bit smug about it, or at least enjoy the feeling of accomplishment.
There are times that I worry though (as I'm actually apt to do lately). Just sitting around listening to the guys talk I realize most likely I'm never going to be THAT technically minded. Even if I did take it in my head to keep up with all the latest hardware and software out there, I would never be able to keep them arranged in my head and be able to spout of specifics if asked. Writing it out now it seems kind of silly. I mean basically I'm just worried that there are people out there better than me. Of course there are. There's always going to be someone more technically skilled, there's going to be someone who can work with people better than I can. That doesn't mean that there's a lack of need for people who know what their doing. I'm not sure why I have this ridiculous need to think that I'm better than everyone else. Is that the only way I can gain self confidence? To think that no one can best me?
And dammit the Chef's STILL aren't giving me free food!! How much of their stuff to I have to fix!?
School!
School is still going ridiculously well too. Going to the same classes every weekday and having a test every week is starting to wear thin, but the classes are are fairly easy and the homework is easy to keep up with. It turns out I'm liking my Project Management way more than I like Green IT. We actually discuss things in the first while the second isn't actually anything new. There are things that I'm learning but... it's just not as engaging I guess. Still got an A in both classes as well.
I don't know how I feel about my Fall Classes coming up. While the listings haven't been posted yet I already have a good Idea of what I'll be taking. Apprehension and Excitement because I do want to know more about active directory but I know the amount of work involved is going to be intense. I'm kind of really glad I got my new computer set up because that means I CAN get homework done at home if I need too.
Alright now on to the topic I've been the most hesitant to talk about
And that was probably my first mistake. I suppose that I just didn't want my feelings to come across as girly babbling. As something that was shallow in insubstantial. And now I don't even know how to summarize everything without getting gushy.
Everything's not perfect. Not by a long shot. I can't really say I was ready for a real relationship, but I can admit that when I signed up for OKCupid I was lonely and tired of feeling restless and cooped up.
Now I'm having trouble finding just the words describing what it's like being around him. I don't exactly remember what I wrote down here, so maybe I'll just go back to the first date and try and start from there.
Our one hour meeting at a little local coffee shop turned into a four hour date with several rounds of magic being played. It wasn't all magic and sparkles talking to him. It was better than that. Not only was I treated as an equal from someone who is a PhD student, but I FELT smart talking to him. I could understand the concepts he was talking about when he talked about his work and he gave me time to think when my words started getting tangled up. He LISTENED to what I was saying, asked the right questions, and didn't make assumptions.I left that coffee shop feeling high as a kite off of the powerful feeling of knowing someone finds you sexy, smart, and attractive. Not to mention the assurances of a second date.
The second date we went to the park with the kids. I was scared it could end up horribly but it turned out to be a lot of fun all around. We kept trying to spend time and talk but we learned really quickly that with two three year olds it wasn't going to that easy. We ended up spending most of the day together, letting the kids run wild while sat in the sand and asked an endless amount of questions.
I think I'm going to cut it off here, just for right now. I've actually had this post open and have been typing in it on and off for the past two days and if I don't hit the button now it'll be another week before I say fork it and just scrap the whole thing.
Look for part II (hopefully) coming soon!
Okay first thing's first I suppose. Work
I still Love my Job. I do take advantage of the fact that I can work whenever I want, but still, when I work I work hard and I do enjoy it when I fix things. Five other interns and the girl with the least computer experience is the one that gets the most done. That's why I'm getting paid to do it. I think I'm allowed to be a bit smug about it, or at least enjoy the feeling of accomplishment.
There are times that I worry though (as I'm actually apt to do lately). Just sitting around listening to the guys talk I realize most likely I'm never going to be THAT technically minded. Even if I did take it in my head to keep up with all the latest hardware and software out there, I would never be able to keep them arranged in my head and be able to spout of specifics if asked. Writing it out now it seems kind of silly. I mean basically I'm just worried that there are people out there better than me. Of course there are. There's always going to be someone more technically skilled, there's going to be someone who can work with people better than I can. That doesn't mean that there's a lack of need for people who know what their doing. I'm not sure why I have this ridiculous need to think that I'm better than everyone else. Is that the only way I can gain self confidence? To think that no one can best me?
And dammit the Chef's STILL aren't giving me free food!! How much of their stuff to I have to fix!?
School!
School is still going ridiculously well too. Going to the same classes every weekday and having a test every week is starting to wear thin, but the classes are are fairly easy and the homework is easy to keep up with. It turns out I'm liking my Project Management way more than I like Green IT. We actually discuss things in the first while the second isn't actually anything new. There are things that I'm learning but... it's just not as engaging I guess. Still got an A in both classes as well.
I don't know how I feel about my Fall Classes coming up. While the listings haven't been posted yet I already have a good Idea of what I'll be taking. Apprehension and Excitement because I do want to know more about active directory but I know the amount of work involved is going to be intense. I'm kind of really glad I got my new computer set up because that means I CAN get homework done at home if I need too.
Alright now on to the topic I've been the most hesitant to talk about
And that was probably my first mistake. I suppose that I just didn't want my feelings to come across as girly babbling. As something that was shallow in insubstantial. And now I don't even know how to summarize everything without getting gushy.
Everything's not perfect. Not by a long shot. I can't really say I was ready for a real relationship, but I can admit that when I signed up for OKCupid I was lonely and tired of feeling restless and cooped up.
Now I'm having trouble finding just the words describing what it's like being around him. I don't exactly remember what I wrote down here, so maybe I'll just go back to the first date and try and start from there.
Our one hour meeting at a little local coffee shop turned into a four hour date with several rounds of magic being played. It wasn't all magic and sparkles talking to him. It was better than that. Not only was I treated as an equal from someone who is a PhD student, but I FELT smart talking to him. I could understand the concepts he was talking about when he talked about his work and he gave me time to think when my words started getting tangled up. He LISTENED to what I was saying, asked the right questions, and didn't make assumptions.I left that coffee shop feeling high as a kite off of the powerful feeling of knowing someone finds you sexy, smart, and attractive. Not to mention the assurances of a second date.
The second date we went to the park with the kids. I was scared it could end up horribly but it turned out to be a lot of fun all around. We kept trying to spend time and talk but we learned really quickly that with two three year olds it wasn't going to that easy. We ended up spending most of the day together, letting the kids run wild while sat in the sand and asked an endless amount of questions.
I think I'm going to cut it off here, just for right now. I've actually had this post open and have been typing in it on and off for the past two days and if I don't hit the button now it'll be another week before I say fork it and just scrap the whole thing.
Look for part II (hopefully) coming soon!