why can't men be men?
this isn't what you're probably expecting..... its a big ramble... and noone will really understand much about it and most will probably think "boo hoo, she doesn't get along with her daddy..... there are worse things" am i right? trust me, i know... but you would have to understand the history here.... the history that only certain close people know.... please don't think i'm just a lil brat that doesn't like her parents..... my mom's great... the world's best!! she deserved better.....
so, i'm sitting here at my mom's house right?!?! mom went shopping.... well, she calls to tell me that shayne (the ex stepdad) is coming over...for those of you that don't know me that well, i don't much care for him (putting it nicely). so, he sees me and says "hey monkey butt" (inside thing~ my fam is nuts) i just nodded and walked away, then the rest of the time he's here its small small talk about his cell phone and his beard.... the whole time he's here, i just wanted to inflict pain upon him. i've never wanted to hurt someone like i do him. (he once told my mom that she had to pick between him or me.... about a month later, she moved out) i just don't understand how she can hate him so much, but still be so civil about it, well not just civil still act like a family when he's around. she just acted like nothing really happened and that things were perfectly fine.... guys him saying that is probably the littlest of the jerkyness that he's done! you just don't understand.... this guy made my life at home a living hell, then expects us to be cool.... he made my mom's life a nightmare come true and she's still in love with him... why? why couldn't he just be a good dad? why couldn't he be a good husband? or even just a good man? what decides how a person is going to be? does God pick the personalities He's going to give each of us? and, if so... why did He create a person like that? Or, do we make our own lives out of what we were given? even so, how could anyone end up like him..... i don't understand at all.... all i've ever wanted from him was the daddy i never had and he couldn't even be that for me, but now he wants to pretend that nothing is wrong and that everything between us is peachy....
so, i'm sitting here at my mom's house right?!?! mom went shopping.... well, she calls to tell me that shayne (the ex stepdad) is coming over...for those of you that don't know me that well, i don't much care for him (putting it nicely). so, he sees me and says "hey monkey butt" (inside thing~ my fam is nuts) i just nodded and walked away, then the rest of the time he's here its small small talk about his cell phone and his beard.... the whole time he's here, i just wanted to inflict pain upon him. i've never wanted to hurt someone like i do him. (he once told my mom that she had to pick between him or me.... about a month later, she moved out) i just don't understand how she can hate him so much, but still be so civil about it, well not just civil still act like a family when he's around. she just acted like nothing really happened and that things were perfectly fine.... guys him saying that is probably the littlest of the jerkyness that he's done! you just don't understand.... this guy made my life at home a living hell, then expects us to be cool.... he made my mom's life a nightmare come true and she's still in love with him... why? why couldn't he just be a good dad? why couldn't he be a good husband? or even just a good man? what decides how a person is going to be? does God pick the personalities He's going to give each of us? and, if so... why did He create a person like that? Or, do we make our own lives out of what we were given? even so, how could anyone end up like him..... i don't understand at all.... all i've ever wanted from him was the daddy i never had and he couldn't even be that for me, but now he wants to pretend that nothing is wrong and that everything between us is peachy....