(Untitled)

[sael_nerdanel]

She is resting comfortably on her bed, curled on her side, staring sleepily at the sonogram image of her son.

Just as sleep -- sleep like Men have, not like Elves -- tries to drag her down, he appears in front of her. Tall, dark, eyes like burning cold-fire.

"Mandos," she breathes.

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[halls_of_mandos]

He crouches down, looking into her tired face.

"Pen hael," he greet quietly. "You are not well."

[sael_nerdanel]

"I am well enough. Your son does not suffer. I saw a healer today and he assures me Feaho is well. He grows. He is active."

Her words would be bitter if she had the strength for it.

[halls_of_mandos]

Asar-Suti's words come to him now.

"No, Nerdanel. He is not only my son. He is yours, too. And Lee's. Feahelcë is not my possession, not mine alone to claim."

[sael_nerdanel]

"Such a drastic change in opinion," she says softly. "Has Gorlim been at you? Or perhaps Gil finally took that large stick to your head."

Pause.

"And why do you not count him as Gorlim's son any longer?" Her voice quivers ever so slightly with a tremor of fear.

[halls_of_mandos]

He stands up, walking to the other side of the room.

"Things change. Everything always changes. I think, locked in my Halls, I forgot that."

[sael_nerdanel]

"What have you done?" she asks with wide eyes.

[halls_of_mandos]

"I have done nothing."

He crosses his arms.

"You call him son. Why should our son call him father while you call him son? It would confuse him at best. No, Gorlim's place is as a guardian, a protector, not father. He is father to one already."

[sael_nerdanel]

"And what is his place with you now?" she asks as she sits up. "Guardian and protector as well?"

[halls_of_mandos]

"He is my dove. My heart, my love."

It was as simple as that to him. No more explanation was needed.

"I have not yet chased him off."

[sael_nerdanel]

"Don't," she warns. "Where is he right now?"

[halls_of_mandos]

"He went off with Random to wherever he and Ramon spend their time together now. Said he needed a break from everything."

His smile does not reach his eyes.

"Which includes us."

[sael_nerdanel]

She sits silently for a little while, then nods.

"He has been under a lot of pressure, my Lord Mandos. Something is not right between you and Lee and Gorlim, he has his family, he has his friends -- and each group has its own issues he has been forced to deal with. What did you expect?"

[halls_of_mandos]

"I did not expect so much to change so quickly," he says dejectedly.

[sael_nerdanel]

"That is the nature of change, my Lord," she says softly as she stands slowly. Nerdanel approaches him, her face pale but serious.

"You either accept the change, flow with it as a ship does the sea, or you fight it -- swim upstream, swim against the current. If you choose to swim, my Lord, you will most likely drown. What is it you fear about these changes? You have left him, for months by our reckoning, and now you flail about because he chooses to leave you for a few days?"

[halls_of_mandos]

He looks away from her.

"I was never gone long enough to be missed," he points out. "And I dislike this new habit of secrets between us all."

[sael_nerdanel]

She takes his hands in hers, stifling the moment of discomfort at touching him, as well as the shiver at the chilled flesh, and draws him toward her bed.

"All lovers have their secrets. It's part of being individuals in a relationship. Do you think there were no other secrets before this one?" Nerdanel chuckles. "My naive Lord," she says softly as she pushes him onto the bed and then joins him. "Put Gorlim out of your mind. Put Lee out of your mind. Sit here with me, with your son, and live in this moment."

The Elf rests his hand on the large swell of her belly, and feels the child react immediately to his father's touch.