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I opened Dreamwidth to post because I'm feeling a little pissed off, to be honest. Well, not a little at all. A whole hell of a lot, actually, but now that I'm actually here, I'm not so sure I can be bothered. *hands* Ugh, I mentioned it, so I might as well not be completely cryptic about it.
My best friend's little sister is getting married in August. She and her fiance will have been together six years on their wedding day, and they've been planning this for about three years now. Well, I should say, the bride's been planning the wedding. (The groom has been more focused on college and graduating, his father being a complete idiot, being unemployed for about a year after graduating, and now dealing with his new job. In another state. And isn't that whole thing another shit show that I won't get into.)
Anyway. The wedding has been the only thing that anyone in their house has been talking about for the last year or so. And, okay, mostly that's understandable. They're planning a wedding. That takes time. But we're talking about a bride who thinks she knows what she wants, and then changes her mind sixteen times before making a final decision. And then changes her mind sixteen more times.
A mother of the bride who continually says that everything she's doing is for the bride and because the bride wants it, but who is severely type A and refuses to let go of any of the control because she's "done this before and knows what's best," please and thank you.
A mother of the groom who wants everything to be traditional (in the American way because she's Filipino and they do things differently, which is very true and I understand that, but that just seems to emphasize the differences of opinions between everyone involved) and fancy fancy, but doesn't want to have to help pay for anything.
And there's the best friend, who is the Maid of Honor and trying to keep the peace/keep everyone calm and on the same page, which is pretty damn difficult when the stories change every time you turn around.
And everyone is fighting with each other, but they're doing it behind each other's backs and are playing nicey-nice to each other's faces, and anyone who says anything about any of this is obviously just trying to cause trouble and isn't helping when asked and is, apparently, making the bride wish she'd just eloped.
One of the biggest arguments has been about the first dance. The bride and groom don't like that they'll be all alone on the dance floor for the full song, so they want the bridal party to come out after a minute or so to dance with them. The best friend (MoH) isn't comfortable with this because we've never met the groomsmen, and if they don't show for the shower (and their attendance is still up in the air) we won't meet them until the rehearsal dinner. The best friend doesn't like touching people she doesn't know. Understandable. The bride, however, is being a bit of a bridezilla about it. Mostly because she doesn't care if her sister's uncomfortable as long as she herself can have her own way.
Now, that's the background. My part in all of this, other than being my best friend's best friend of, oh, twenty years and growing up with her and her sister? Well, at first I was just supposed to be one of those guests that isn't in the party, but is expected to jump to when ordered and bend over backwards and help. Which, frankly, pissed me off, but this is a girl I think of as my little sister so of course I'm going to help. That's what sisters do.
Then, about a month ago, the bride decides that since she can't get a hold of one of her bridesmaids, that I'll take her place. The decision process went like this: "Oh, I can't get a hold of S because both of her phone numbers have changed and she's not answering emails or facebook, and I need to have four bridesmaids because that's the number of groomsmen, so Rose will do it."
I'm not even joking. That is what I was told. I wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid, I was, basically, ordered. I wasn't even given a chance to say anything before a new bridesmaid dress was ordered and shipped. And what fun was that. The wedding theme is Chinese, so the bridesmaid dresses are Chinese, and I do not have the typical Asian bodytype. I am a large, curvy woman, so the dress had to be special ordered to my size, and that's been thrown back into my face about sixty million times in the last month.
Now last night, the bride asked me (snidely) if I was going to dance the first dance with the groomsman I'm paired up with. To which I said I don't know. Maybe. I'd really like to met the guy first before having to decide that. Because I agree with her sister, I'm a little uncomfortable with the idea, especially when I've never met any of these guys. The bride didn't like that and stormed off after telling me she only wanted a yes or no answer, and it isn't like that its all that hard.
And the worst of it? I got a phone call tonight from the best friend basically telling me that I need to knock my shit off because it is upsetting the bride.
I'm sorry, what? What exactly have I done besides give up my time, which I've never been asked or thanked for because I'm expected to help out no matter what? I've helped make the bouquets, the centerpieces, the wishing well for the cards, plan the jack and jill shower, and buy shit for both. And now I'm being blamed because I'm not playing a part and doing what's asked of me?
Well, excuse me and fuck you. You ask for my opinion, I will give it to you. If you don't like what you hear? That is not my problem. If you want someone to just toe your line and say yes, ma'am, no, ma'am, well, you should have known better. I've never been a yes, ma'am, no, ma'am type of person.
I. Fuck, I don't know. I'm truly sick and tried of all the in fighting and the blame and being told I'm not good enough because I'm not following behind like a fucking lap dog. And I'm ready to wash my hands of it all. And I'm sick of feeling guilty because I don't want anything to do with this childishness.
Okay, if you actually read all that and are still here reading, all the internet cookies for you.
In other, not quite so angry drama news, um. Well, there isn't much. I'm just getting over a nasty head cold that I caught last week. I'm still working at the crap job and none of the applications I've sent out have come back. My mom's job is being rolled over with the company change, so that's good news. Also, I might be going to see Adam Lambert with
roseclaw in June, which will be fun, if I can swing the financial part.
I've fallen head first into Inspector Lewis and the Avengers fandoms, which is nice because I've missed having an active fandom, let alone two of them. I totally need to find Avenger fandom type friends for my friends/reading lists because most of the people now are either not posting because of life or are into Hockey now, which yay! for them, but totally not for me.
I've been poking at a few things writing wise, including the second story for Space Opera and a couple of Skippy fics. And poking is about it, too, because nothing is going anywhere. I'm beginning to think that I'm going to have to restart/retool Space Opera 2 just to start, and I'm sort of dreading it. Which sucks, because I love that 'verse and those characters.
Okay, now that I'm not so angry anymore, I'm going to bed. Sleep tight, lovelies, and sweet dreams! ♥
This entry was originally posted at http://saekokato.dreamwidth.org/242748.html. Please comment at either journal.
My best friend's little sister is getting married in August. She and her fiance will have been together six years on their wedding day, and they've been planning this for about three years now. Well, I should say, the bride's been planning the wedding. (The groom has been more focused on college and graduating, his father being a complete idiot, being unemployed for about a year after graduating, and now dealing with his new job. In another state. And isn't that whole thing another shit show that I won't get into.)
Anyway. The wedding has been the only thing that anyone in their house has been talking about for the last year or so. And, okay, mostly that's understandable. They're planning a wedding. That takes time. But we're talking about a bride who thinks she knows what she wants, and then changes her mind sixteen times before making a final decision. And then changes her mind sixteen more times.
A mother of the bride who continually says that everything she's doing is for the bride and because the bride wants it, but who is severely type A and refuses to let go of any of the control because she's "done this before and knows what's best," please and thank you.
A mother of the groom who wants everything to be traditional (in the American way because she's Filipino and they do things differently, which is very true and I understand that, but that just seems to emphasize the differences of opinions between everyone involved) and fancy fancy, but doesn't want to have to help pay for anything.
And there's the best friend, who is the Maid of Honor and trying to keep the peace/keep everyone calm and on the same page, which is pretty damn difficult when the stories change every time you turn around.
And everyone is fighting with each other, but they're doing it behind each other's backs and are playing nicey-nice to each other's faces, and anyone who says anything about any of this is obviously just trying to cause trouble and isn't helping when asked and is, apparently, making the bride wish she'd just eloped.
One of the biggest arguments has been about the first dance. The bride and groom don't like that they'll be all alone on the dance floor for the full song, so they want the bridal party to come out after a minute or so to dance with them. The best friend (MoH) isn't comfortable with this because we've never met the groomsmen, and if they don't show for the shower (and their attendance is still up in the air) we won't meet them until the rehearsal dinner. The best friend doesn't like touching people she doesn't know. Understandable. The bride, however, is being a bit of a bridezilla about it. Mostly because she doesn't care if her sister's uncomfortable as long as she herself can have her own way.
Now, that's the background. My part in all of this, other than being my best friend's best friend of, oh, twenty years and growing up with her and her sister? Well, at first I was just supposed to be one of those guests that isn't in the party, but is expected to jump to when ordered and bend over backwards and help. Which, frankly, pissed me off, but this is a girl I think of as my little sister so of course I'm going to help. That's what sisters do.
Then, about a month ago, the bride decides that since she can't get a hold of one of her bridesmaids, that I'll take her place. The decision process went like this: "Oh, I can't get a hold of S because both of her phone numbers have changed and she's not answering emails or facebook, and I need to have four bridesmaids because that's the number of groomsmen, so Rose will do it."
I'm not even joking. That is what I was told. I wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid, I was, basically, ordered. I wasn't even given a chance to say anything before a new bridesmaid dress was ordered and shipped. And what fun was that. The wedding theme is Chinese, so the bridesmaid dresses are Chinese, and I do not have the typical Asian bodytype. I am a large, curvy woman, so the dress had to be special ordered to my size, and that's been thrown back into my face about sixty million times in the last month.
Now last night, the bride asked me (snidely) if I was going to dance the first dance with the groomsman I'm paired up with. To which I said I don't know. Maybe. I'd really like to met the guy first before having to decide that. Because I agree with her sister, I'm a little uncomfortable with the idea, especially when I've never met any of these guys. The bride didn't like that and stormed off after telling me she only wanted a yes or no answer, and it isn't like that its all that hard.
And the worst of it? I got a phone call tonight from the best friend basically telling me that I need to knock my shit off because it is upsetting the bride.
I'm sorry, what? What exactly have I done besides give up my time, which I've never been asked or thanked for because I'm expected to help out no matter what? I've helped make the bouquets, the centerpieces, the wishing well for the cards, plan the jack and jill shower, and buy shit for both. And now I'm being blamed because I'm not playing a part and doing what's asked of me?
Well, excuse me and fuck you. You ask for my opinion, I will give it to you. If you don't like what you hear? That is not my problem. If you want someone to just toe your line and say yes, ma'am, no, ma'am, well, you should have known better. I've never been a yes, ma'am, no, ma'am type of person.
I. Fuck, I don't know. I'm truly sick and tried of all the in fighting and the blame and being told I'm not good enough because I'm not following behind like a fucking lap dog. And I'm ready to wash my hands of it all. And I'm sick of feeling guilty because I don't want anything to do with this childishness.
Okay, if you actually read all that and are still here reading, all the internet cookies for you.
In other, not quite so angry drama news, um. Well, there isn't much. I'm just getting over a nasty head cold that I caught last week. I'm still working at the crap job and none of the applications I've sent out have come back. My mom's job is being rolled over with the company change, so that's good news. Also, I might be going to see Adam Lambert with
roseclaw in June, which will be fun, if I can swing the financial part.
I've fallen head first into Inspector Lewis and the Avengers fandoms, which is nice because I've missed having an active fandom, let alone two of them. I totally need to find Avenger fandom type friends for my friends/reading lists because most of the people now are either not posting because of life or are into Hockey now, which yay! for them, but totally not for me.
I've been poking at a few things writing wise, including the second story for Space Opera and a couple of Skippy fics. And poking is about it, too, because nothing is going anywhere. I'm beginning to think that I'm going to have to restart/retool Space Opera 2 just to start, and I'm sort of dreading it. Which sucks, because I love that 'verse and those characters.
Okay, now that I'm not so angry anymore, I'm going to bed. Sleep tight, lovelies, and sweet dreams! ♥
This entry was originally posted at http://saekokato.dreamwidth.org/242748.html. Please comment at either journal.