Stupid Fucking DVD, 2/2
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Total Word Count: 2803
Rating: E
Summary: After Dean goes to sleep, Sam watches the rest of Casa Erotica, and... well, he should really learn to stop being surprised when Gabriel surprises him.
Written for Sabriel Week 2012.
Also posted on AO3 here.
It’s like time jumps. Sam finds himself so caught up in the little things - the way her bare shoulder sinks into the sheets under his weight, the subtle pull of tendons along Gabe’s neck - that suddenly he’s looking at all this skin and he doesn’t know when it happened. Gabe’s back is smooth and pale, and there are little red lines where the girl has clutched the skin on his hips. Gabe is a little soft there, a little round. He doesn’t have a hunter’s shape, or Cas’s wiry strength, but with the gentler line of his body he looks... Jesus, he looks angelic like this. Pure.
And it’s Gabriel. And it’s Gabriel who is actually in a fucking porno right now.
Sam catches a glimpse of the side of Gabriel’s face as he turns to kiss her shoulder. Purity should be way far off the table. But it isn’t.
He’s still focused on Gabe’s face when it shifts, when Gabe turns them over together with what must be freaky angel strength and pulls her legs around his waist. Sam can see the long line of her back now, and the grip of Gabe’s hands along her shoulderblades, and the top of Gabe’s head as he presses his forehead against her neck for a moment. He’s ... fuck, Gabe’s inside her now. Sam can hear her exhale sharply as it happens. She twines herself around him, and he clings.
Sam watches Gabe lose himself more and more in the deep thrusts, and at the same time Gabe’s shoulders are tensing at that very loss. Sam hears the angel muttering “Fuck, fuck, fuck” - it’s an unexpectedly harsh sound coming out of his mouth, but it’s not like Gabe is likely to call out God or Jesus or whatever. Once there’s a sibilant hiss, a “S-“ that cuts itself off before it could be a word.
Gabe’s eyes are closed, his face tensing with pleasure and effort and a kind of determined sadness. It’s the same expression Sam remembers from Dean’s eyes whenever he’d leave a bar with a girl during the year of his contract. It’s the eyes, knowing that no matter how good the moment is that the next thing that happens is going to hurt so much more.
Suddenly Gabriel groans, mutters “Close your eyes... I’m going to...“ and pulls the girl’s face to kiss her deep and open and -
The image flickers out, replaced by a screen with the words “Please stand by, we are experiencing technical dificulties because my AWESOME ANGELIC ORGASM just shorted out the camera. Booyah.”
Sam waits, the screen black, his mind buzzing.
Is that it?
When the video flicks back on, Sam isn’t sure what to expect. It turns out to be Gabe, now alone in the room and dressed in the clothes he died in. Somehow Sam knows this was filmed right before Gabe flew to Elysian Fields. Gabe is sitting on the bed, hands clasped, elbows on his knees, back tired and curved and horribly small. He starts talking, looking straight at the camera.
“Sam.”
Sam starts, raises himself on his elbow a little to lean closer to the screen. He waits for the “and Dean” that doesn’t come.
“If you’ve watched to here, well, I’m not sure why you did...” Gabe almost laughs, but then seems to think better of it and continues. “But for some reason I think you might. Dean won’t, but you will, Sammy. So studious.”
Gabe’s looking straight into the camera. “You’re a smart kid, so you probably figured out that Jenny was - well, wasn’t a blow-up doll like my usual. She’s a cutie, right? Well, I just thought, before I go, I should...” He laughs softly, rolls his eyes. “Fuck, this sounds dumb, but, I wanted to actually experience something human. And I wanted it to be real for once. Good, and real. With someone I actually didn't want to feed to the sharks.”
Gabe pauses, nods as if he’s made sure of something. “Yeah, and she won’t remember any of the weird parts, either, none of the angel stuff or what I said about -“
He cuts himself off, stands up as if about to leave, then sighs and sits back down. “You know what was really fun? Making you into a car. I can see your bitchface right now, Sam, all ‘Well, Mr. Arch-Asshole it wasn’t fun for me’ but seriously. You were my favorite to mess with, in all of human history, and I only sort of ever tried to kill you a little, so I hope you can understand what that means.”
It’s not like Gabe can see him, but Sam shakes his head anyway. No, he has no idea what that means. He’s not sure he wants to, but Gabe’s still talking.
“Okay, okay, I’m being all cryptic-like. It’s not as if I’ve had a lot of practice talking to you idiots for realsies, but I give myself points for trying.” Gabe glances down at his hands, turns them over like he had never really noticed what his vessel’s hands looked like. They’re kind of pale, and clean in that untouched way that Cas’s hands are always clean if he isn’t actively getting them dirty. Then Sam hears the word “Castiel” come out of Gabe’s mouth and wonders if angelic DVDs can read minds.
“It’s like - um - your brother and Castiel. They have this thing, right? They just keep fucking each other up and saving each other and fucking looking at each other like...”
Gabe looks up again, and it’s as if he’s trying to meet Sam’s eyes through time and video and so many mistakes.
“I wish I had wised up earlier, Sammy. I wish I could be the one to pull you out of this, I wish I could sacrifice something and still stick around after, I wish I could have... can you imagine it though? ‘Cassie and Dean,’ and ‘Sammy and Gabe’ - and I’d repeat as many days as you wanted, no weird taco deaths for anybody, promise. I swear I’m pretty fun when I’m not being a huge dick. I bet I could’ve made you laugh, nerd boy.”
Gabe’s voice hasn’t wavered at all. He’s still strident and smug, still sounds like he’s trying to mock and teach a lesson at the same time. The actual words, though, are making Sam’s head fill with white noise, and Gabe is talking again and making it worse because he’s so very serious now.
“Dean and Cas, Sammy and Gabe - yeah. I would have. Stayed. With you. For you. I know you won’t believe me and I’ve never given you reason to, but. Yes, in a second. You know I’ve seen your soul, right? You haven’t seen mine, and I don’t actually have one, but. You’re awesome. I would have.”
Sam hears Gabe take one deep slow breath. Maybe there’s a catch in his throat on the exhale. Probably not. “So go get ‘em, kiddo. Save the world and all that jazz. And uh, then... I don’t know, find someone who can make you crack a smile for once in your fucking life? That might be good.”
Gabe smiles a little, and the screen goes black. White letters roll up from the bottom.
CREDITS
DIRECTOR: GABRIEL
STARRING...
ACTUALLY NO.
I AM NOT GOING TO WASTE MY VERY IMPORTANT TIME MAKING A CREDIT SEQUENCE.
I DON’T CARE WHAT KIND OF SEXUAL FAVORS YOU OFFER ME, SAMMY.
STOP BEGGING.
IT’S UNBECOMING.
JEEZ, KID, STOP WEEPING AND TAKING OFF YOUR PANTS.
WELL YES THAT IS AN IMPRESSIVE... OFFER, SAMMY.
BUT STILL NO CREDIT SEQUENCE.
NO MEANS NO.
SERIOUSLY.
ALSO,
GOODBYE.
AND
THANKS.
I GUESS.
And then it’s over.
Sam doesn’t cry, why would he, but the back of his throat feels thick and achy and he’s not sure what to do now. The blanket is heavy, like someone is lying against his back. He wants to leave the room. He wants to watch it again. Fuck it, he kind of does want to cry and there was no new information about killing the Devil and he misses Jess for some reason and none of it makes any sense.
Suddenly, Sam is more exhausted than he’s ever been. He shuts the laptop, shifts himself onto his back and folds the blanket down to his chest. The air cools the sweat at his hairline but not the sting in his eyes, so he blinks hard and fast but it still doesn’t help. Gabe was one of the four archangels of the Lord and maybe the last thing he did before sacrificing himself for humanity was... this.
Jesus fucking Christ, get a fucking hold of yourself, Sam.
He closes his eyes, turning his cheek into the pillow.
The credit sequence plays again in his head, as if Gabe was reading it out loud, but for some reason Sam hears a tremor in the voice now, hears warmth and regret and fear of dying under all the stupid fucking jokes.
“Thanks” and “I guess” loop like an old tape as the blur of sleep finally soaks in behind his eyes. In his last seconds of half-awareness, visions find him. Little flashes of sensations he's never had. He sees that laughing body tucked against his, and those hands like worship on his skin, and yes. Yes, he definitely missed something.