Halfhearted Defender
I know that this isn’t really my place - that it’s not my job to defend you, or speak up for you. We’re not lovers, we’re not in love - hell, I’m not even in love with you. I’m just…attracted to your personality in a passing manner. To that note, we’re barely friends, and you’ve given me no indication that the term means anything more - in the context of us - than appearing on each other’s facebooks. This basically tells me that we’ve met.
So, why do I feel like I betrayed you by not standing up for you? Doesn’t happen with everyone, just a few people, and you’re one of them. I flipped out at someone over the summer for calling someone I cared about a slut. In a way, this was worse, because the person who said it was in perfect control - knew exactly what she was saying - and still said it.
I had a comeback, a crushing one. It was one of those perfect-words moments, where I felt like I really could have been something. I’m sure you know the feeling - like stars lining up and giving you a view into something perfect. I had the rebuttal, clear and true, and I held my tongue, because it would’ve hurt her to say.
Is that wrong? Should I have said it, for you, who will never know the exchange even happened? Should I have held my tongue and let it go?
Ugh. I don’t know. I just wish that some stars would line up for me for once. Dammit.
So, why do I feel like I betrayed you by not standing up for you? Doesn’t happen with everyone, just a few people, and you’re one of them. I flipped out at someone over the summer for calling someone I cared about a slut. In a way, this was worse, because the person who said it was in perfect control - knew exactly what she was saying - and still said it.
I had a comeback, a crushing one. It was one of those perfect-words moments, where I felt like I really could have been something. I’m sure you know the feeling - like stars lining up and giving you a view into something perfect. I had the rebuttal, clear and true, and I held my tongue, because it would’ve hurt her to say.
Is that wrong? Should I have said it, for you, who will never know the exchange even happened? Should I have held my tongue and let it go?
Ugh. I don’t know. I just wish that some stars would line up for me for once. Dammit.