Re: Another 'her'
It comes to mind that these musings aren't going to mean much, in the grand scheme, but they're bothering me at the moment, and so I feel the need to write them down.
I don't think she likes me. I think I like her, and the more I talk to her, the more I think I might have been wrong with my initial assessment. Maybe she isn't too immature for me. Maybe she's more ideal than I had thought. Either way, I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me. She's not showing any of the signs I'd normally associate with it. She's not going out of her way to chill with me, or even looking my way especially often - which is what I'd expect. She has a boyfriend.
-shakes head- But it doesn't explain her running her hand down my chest.
It's maddening, basically. I know it was probably just something that she did. It wouldn't be out of character from what I know of her to do something like that randomly. I can rationalize it away like anything else and think that it's all over and done with. But then, I lie down in bed, and I'm thinking about her - and I know that it's gonna bounce around my head until I get it out, and so that's what this is an attempt to do. Get the thoughts out of my head and into a place where I can look at them rationally.
I know I wouldn't have a problem going for it if she wanted to, boyfriend or not. I've made that choice before, and I'd make the same one now. Judge that all you'd like.
I don't think she's interested, and until I'm proven wrong, or something to that effect, I don't think she's worth pursuing in any kind of serious way. That can and will cause drama, even if it does indulge me in a temporary fashion. In addition, if I'm right and she's not interested, I just make a fool of myself - again. Not something I'm interested in doing.
I've been known to fall in love randomly when I get to thinking about them, or when I get to the point where I've had a few conversations with them and they haven't shown themselves to be totally repugnant. I've known her about this long, and it'll probably pass.
For all these reasons, I'm pretty sure that I'm able to justify not doing anything drastic despite really wanting too.
I don't think she likes me. I think I like her, and the more I talk to her, the more I think I might have been wrong with my initial assessment. Maybe she isn't too immature for me. Maybe she's more ideal than I had thought. Either way, I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me. She's not showing any of the signs I'd normally associate with it. She's not going out of her way to chill with me, or even looking my way especially often - which is what I'd expect. She has a boyfriend.
-shakes head- But it doesn't explain her running her hand down my chest.
It's maddening, basically. I know it was probably just something that she did. It wouldn't be out of character from what I know of her to do something like that randomly. I can rationalize it away like anything else and think that it's all over and done with. But then, I lie down in bed, and I'm thinking about her - and I know that it's gonna bounce around my head until I get it out, and so that's what this is an attempt to do. Get the thoughts out of my head and into a place where I can look at them rationally.
I know I wouldn't have a problem going for it if she wanted to, boyfriend or not. I've made that choice before, and I'd make the same one now. Judge that all you'd like.
I don't think she's interested, and until I'm proven wrong, or something to that effect, I don't think she's worth pursuing in any kind of serious way. That can and will cause drama, even if it does indulge me in a temporary fashion. In addition, if I'm right and she's not interested, I just make a fool of myself - again. Not something I'm interested in doing.
I've been known to fall in love randomly when I get to thinking about them, or when I get to the point where I've had a few conversations with them and they haven't shown themselves to be totally repugnant. I've known her about this long, and it'll probably pass.
For all these reasons, I'm pretty sure that I'm able to justify not doing anything drastic despite really wanting too.