wire-ring.

[sadpixeleyes]

I was given a journal my senior year of high school that I've never used. Not one word is written in it and it's probably covered in dust, still in the bag it was given to me in. This is an extremely sad situation. My English teacher from junior year gave me that journal along with a picture frame that is also still empty upon my graduation after having been her teacher's aid for a semester. She was, is, and always will be so beautiful to me. One of those people who makes you believe in humanity. She had the patience of Job and her only flaw was letting people (students) walk all over her, for the most part. I tried to combat that as much as possible while I was her aid. Anyway, why have I left these gifts so blank? Why haven't I lived at all? My life is so void. I think I care about people to a fault, but I'm really only going through the motions of life. I'm not even doing a good job of faking; I hardly do anything. I really do care for that boy I've written so fondly about recently. So much it scares me. I see possibilities for the first time in so many years. I want to fill those gifts with me: my joy, my sadness, my insecurities, my possibilities. I won't lie, I want him to be a part of them, but only if that's what he really wants.

Sometimes being happy, baby, is what I'm most afraid of.