...fuck you guys
I keep trying to tell myself that friends are uneeded. But damn am i lonely. In the last 3 weeks I have done the following:
worked
played GTA
wrote in my journal
that is all. I am not forgetting one little thing except maybe eating or something like that. I also showered a few times. I think it would be a lot easier to get over Adri if i had friends as well. I mean... i was fine for a long while. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I started missing her in ways I could never imagine. But everyone is gone. My fuck buddy is gone. I am not sure what to do here. What safe things can I do? I think everyone just wants me to hurry up and kill myself. But I don't know if I could. It doesn't seem to ever work the way i would have liked. The only way possible would be to get ahold of a shotgun. that is the only sure way... but I am not to sure how to obtain one. Their is a gun shop in Hyannis, but you need a lisence to buy anything gun related. I found a few sites online... but they were sketchy and i don't want FBI at my door. I though of doing the whole "Death by Cop" thing. But i think the shoot to kill law isn't a sure thing. I think it is up to the cop's judgment... and i really dont want to go in public. I would rather die alone and by the beach. I guess it is just a suicidal dream. I wish I had an endless supply of movies. I am tired of all the ones I have seen so far. I am going to go look for some new ones.
worked
played GTA
wrote in my journal
that is all. I am not forgetting one little thing except maybe eating or something like that. I also showered a few times. I think it would be a lot easier to get over Adri if i had friends as well. I mean... i was fine for a long while. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I started missing her in ways I could never imagine. But everyone is gone. My fuck buddy is gone. I am not sure what to do here. What safe things can I do? I think everyone just wants me to hurry up and kill myself. But I don't know if I could. It doesn't seem to ever work the way i would have liked. The only way possible would be to get ahold of a shotgun. that is the only sure way... but I am not to sure how to obtain one. Their is a gun shop in Hyannis, but you need a lisence to buy anything gun related. I found a few sites online... but they were sketchy and i don't want FBI at my door. I though of doing the whole "Death by Cop" thing. But i think the shoot to kill law isn't a sure thing. I think it is up to the cop's judgment... and i really dont want to go in public. I would rather die alone and by the beach. I guess it is just a suicidal dream. I wish I had an endless supply of movies. I am tired of all the ones I have seen so far. I am going to go look for some new ones.