(no subject)
Sometimes there are moments where i think my life is just too fucked up for there NOT be some higher power at work here:
-Despite what all my female friends say and to their amazement, i have the most difficult time getting girls to want me.
-In the rare instances that a girl does like me that much, i do not find them attractive in any way.
-i have a sexual drive that females always seem to ask for, yet i cant get laid.
-i find amazing and awesome girls... online... in other states.
-i am completely and utterly physically attracted to my lesbian best friend.
-The more i try and better myself and my life, the more my finances are threatened.
i don't want to continue this list.
It occurred to me that i cannot remember the last time if there even was a time, that i have gone this long not liking someone a lot (ie crushing). i fear that it is putting a strain on my friendship with Corri. i seem to be concentrating all this lust on her. It is unhealthy and wrong. Horribly. i hate myself for it and i am ashamed.
i seem to be suffering from some form of chronic epididymal hypertension to which the only remedy is getting off; something i cannot seem to achieve. The thought of masturbating, alone, makes me depressed. It has been months.
i am wasting so much time. Time better spent on plots to destroy me.
-Despite what all my female friends say and to their amazement, i have the most difficult time getting girls to want me.
-In the rare instances that a girl does like me that much, i do not find them attractive in any way.
-i have a sexual drive that females always seem to ask for, yet i cant get laid.
-i find amazing and awesome girls... online... in other states.
-i am completely and utterly physically attracted to my lesbian best friend.
-The more i try and better myself and my life, the more my finances are threatened.
i don't want to continue this list.
It occurred to me that i cannot remember the last time if there even was a time, that i have gone this long not liking someone a lot (ie crushing). i fear that it is putting a strain on my friendship with Corri. i seem to be concentrating all this lust on her. It is unhealthy and wrong. Horribly. i hate myself for it and i am ashamed.
i seem to be suffering from some form of chronic epididymal hypertension to which the only remedy is getting off; something i cannot seem to achieve. The thought of masturbating, alone, makes me depressed. It has been months.
i am wasting so much time. Time better spent on plots to destroy me.