App
Character: Gaara
Series: Naruto
Character Age: 15
Canon: Out of all the twisted childhoods of the characters in Naruto, Gaara's is perhaps the worst. Following the series' trend that all of the adults must be fundamentally less intelligent than the children, Gaara's father sacrificed his wife in order to stick a giant demon badger in his son to create a weapon for his village. This little boy grew a bit, and his father went “hoshit, can't control his power” and promptly began ordering assassination attempts. However, because of the fact that the demon in Gaara caused sand to automatically protect him, he never died. He also never slept. Ever. Which unfortunately left him awake to witness the assassination attempts, which are often made in the middle of the night and usually spare their victims the repetitive mental trauma. Such as discovering that the assassin in question was the one person you thought loved you. That sort of thing. So the trauma took its toll, and Gaara grew into a quite disturbed boy who existed only to terrify or kill everybody else, addressed the demon as “mother”, and was sent on a mission with his siblings to help invade Konoha. Because it's always smart to expect the people you mistreat to be completely obedient to you.
While in Konoha, Gaara's mental state deteriorated rapidly, and for a while it seemed as though the demon was going to take him over completely. Then he was exposed to the Power of Naruto, and because you can't exactly ignore Naruto, when trying to kill him fails you can either change your ways, or knock him out and almost kiss him under a waterfall. Gaara chose option one. He turned his life around and even achieved his and Naruto's shared dream - of becoming the leader of their respective villages - by the time he was 15. But he also beat him to having the demon ripped out of him and dying, because apparently his good fortune isn't allowed to last that long. However, he was brought back to life by the belated generosity of the old woman who stuck the demon in him in the first place. At least he can sleep now. Or so we hope. (Note: The link in the app is pretty not-worksafe!)
“Dear deserving victim,
We have enclosed a poem that we hope will be enlightening, and will prepare you for the next stage in what you call a life.
One afternoon a boy had a daymare. It was not
a nightmare, for he never slept. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach of The Lake.
Across the water flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
prints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to
an unidentifiable pockmarked stalker.
He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there were only his set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very
darkest and ugliest times in his life.
This weirded him out, and he
questioned out loud:
“...”
For you see, this boy was a ninja, and
not a particularly sociable one at that.
But what the ninja had noticed
was that during those turbulent times
in his life, there was only one set of footprints.
He didn't understand why when he would be
most easily caught, he had managed to escape.
The Loudspeaker (which was used to ninja-speak) replied:
“YOU IDIOT, YOU UNSUSPECTING FOOL,
DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF.
DURING YOUR TIMES OF DEGENERATION AND FAILURE,
WHEN YOU SEE ONLY YOUR FOOTPRINTS,
IT WAS THEN THAT MARCY GOT YOU.”
You have been convicted of having various perversions, including the rare practice of sandrape, and we suspect also a bent towards personal enhancement. As a result, your presence is now required at a camp, where we expect you will be rightfully punished by being surrounded by those who have even stranger perversions than yours. So take some time to ponder this question: sand, or tentacles?
To get there, simply follow the prints in the sand.”
...
I don't care to deal with another organization right now, and I don't have time to indulge those with standing grudges, nor wonder what "MARCY" stands for. Especially if you are not even from Sand. If you were, you would have realized that you can't possibly instruct anyone to follow a trail that would be so quickly erased. I have to focus on my people, as they are the only ones in a position to make demands of me.
In the event that this is a joke, it is the least clever one I have ever seen played. I had the impression that jokes needed to be somewhat believable in order to be effective. If it is not one, and you want to pursue any accusations - nonsensical in nature as they might be - you will need to come to me and do so. It might help your case if you found photographs that actually had me in them. Violence was not even mentioned, and I would think that would be someone's main concern, even after three years.
...
...and those are not footprints.
Series: Naruto
Character Age: 15
Canon: Out of all the twisted childhoods of the characters in Naruto, Gaara's is perhaps the worst. Following the series' trend that all of the adults must be fundamentally less intelligent than the children, Gaara's father sacrificed his wife in order to stick a giant demon badger in his son to create a weapon for his village. This little boy grew a bit, and his father went “hoshit, can't control his power” and promptly began ordering assassination attempts. However, because of the fact that the demon in Gaara caused sand to automatically protect him, he never died. He also never slept. Ever. Which unfortunately left him awake to witness the assassination attempts, which are often made in the middle of the night and usually spare their victims the repetitive mental trauma. Such as discovering that the assassin in question was the one person you thought loved you. That sort of thing. So the trauma took its toll, and Gaara grew into a quite disturbed boy who existed only to terrify or kill everybody else, addressed the demon as “mother”, and was sent on a mission with his siblings to help invade Konoha. Because it's always smart to expect the people you mistreat to be completely obedient to you.
While in Konoha, Gaara's mental state deteriorated rapidly, and for a while it seemed as though the demon was going to take him over completely. Then he was exposed to the Power of Naruto, and because you can't exactly ignore Naruto, when trying to kill him fails you can either change your ways, or knock him out and almost kiss him under a waterfall. Gaara chose option one. He turned his life around and even achieved his and Naruto's shared dream - of becoming the leader of their respective villages - by the time he was 15. But he also beat him to having the demon ripped out of him and dying, because apparently his good fortune isn't allowed to last that long. However, he was brought back to life by the belated generosity of the old woman who stuck the demon in him in the first place. At least he can sleep now. Or so we hope. (Note: The link in the app is pretty not-worksafe!)
“Dear deserving victim,
We have enclosed a poem that we hope will be enlightening, and will prepare you for the next stage in what you call a life.
One afternoon a boy had a daymare. It was not
a nightmare, for he never slept. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach of The Lake.
Across the water flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
prints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to
an unidentifiable pockmarked stalker.
He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there were only his set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very
darkest and ugliest times in his life.
This weirded him out, and he
questioned out loud:
“...”
For you see, this boy was a ninja, and
not a particularly sociable one at that.
But what the ninja had noticed
was that during those turbulent times
in his life, there was only one set of footprints.
He didn't understand why when he would be
most easily caught, he had managed to escape.
The Loudspeaker (which was used to ninja-speak) replied:
“YOU IDIOT, YOU UNSUSPECTING FOOL,
DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF.
DURING YOUR TIMES OF DEGENERATION AND FAILURE,
WHEN YOU SEE ONLY YOUR FOOTPRINTS,
IT WAS THEN THAT MARCY GOT YOU.”
You have been convicted of having various perversions, including the rare practice of sandrape, and we suspect also a bent towards personal enhancement. As a result, your presence is now required at a camp, where we expect you will be rightfully punished by being surrounded by those who have even stranger perversions than yours. So take some time to ponder this question: sand, or tentacles?
To get there, simply follow the prints in the sand.”
...
I don't care to deal with another organization right now, and I don't have time to indulge those with standing grudges, nor wonder what "MARCY" stands for. Especially if you are not even from Sand. If you were, you would have realized that you can't possibly instruct anyone to follow a trail that would be so quickly erased. I have to focus on my people, as they are the only ones in a position to make demands of me.
In the event that this is a joke, it is the least clever one I have ever seen played. I had the impression that jokes needed to be somewhat believable in order to be effective. If it is not one, and you want to pursue any accusations - nonsensical in nature as they might be - you will need to come to me and do so. It might help your case if you found photographs that actually had me in them. Violence was not even mentioned, and I would think that would be someone's main concern, even after three years.
...
...and those are not footprints.