17 Years Later, It's the Same Old Thing
Rummaging through livejournal, instead of finishing a work report, I found this entry, almost 17 years to the day:
" Instead of reading the book I need to read to finish a report that's due in less than 48 hours, I read some of my old livejournal entries.
I am not sure if I can accurately communicate my thoughts and feelings on my past contributions to livejournal. It's a bit revealing to read ones writing from previous years. Some of the entries I read were 6 years old, enough time to completely forget the painful emotions that some of the entries were inspired by. Rereading these entries felt similar to bonding with a complete stranger- which is sort of an irony because I believe that this is a part (if not the majority) of the reason why people spend so much time online in the first place, to find meaningful bonds that are lacking in day to day life.
Reading some of these past entries also makes me realize just how much has changed for me in the past few years; from the way I view myself in the world, the friendships I had/have, and how I view relationships.It is a relief to know that these things have been changing for the better, that I'm getting greater satisfaction out of my life now than before.
I'm still very hard on myself, though. However, I don't believe I'm as self-pitying as I was- which is a very fortunate thing. Feeling isolated in the world can be one of the most stunting things to ones personality (I don't want anyone to confuse this with the search for ones individualism). Isolation, in a lot of cases, is self-inflicted, and it is very emotionally immature to become self-pitying over a thing that is self-inflicted. I was, and to some extent still am, emotionally immature- even though I would have never had admitted this 6 years ago.
Overall, reading my old entries just reinforces my recent feelings of wanting to return to livejournal. I've become very disenchanted with sites like myspace, and to a much smaller extent, facebook. The internet is already an extremely superficial place, or at least it can be, and these other sites just reinforce a shallow mentality. These sites (mostly myspace)make me almost loathe being online at all. I can say that I have participated in certain aspects of shallowness, and am not necessarily so much ashamed as I am unimpressed with myself for doing so. Also, I have learned less about my online friends since their, and my, switch from places like livejournal to places like myspace. Nobody really talks to each other anymore, nobody regularly shares their thoughts- or, if they do, they're not complete thoughts. Instead, everyone leaves text-like comments to each other, we write short, uninteresting blogs about the most trivial stuff, and most of all, these sites contribute to an unhealthy amount of self-importance and narcissism that is detestable, especially in the young. And, an offense that is equal to these previous ones, they contribute to a false-knowledge of culture.
I should stop this here. I can write a complete essay on this subject, and I have been really giving some serious thought to it.
Anyway, as most of you have probably already figured out, I miss livejournal. I miss some of the people on here and communicating with them regularly. I miss being able to write out complete thoughts and having short discussions about them, and about everyone's experience in their small corner of the world.
I know I have promised to be around more, this time I'll do my best to honor that promise.
Tell your friends to ditch myspace. Let's talk more."
" Instead of reading the book I need to read to finish a report that's due in less than 48 hours, I read some of my old livejournal entries.
I am not sure if I can accurately communicate my thoughts and feelings on my past contributions to livejournal. It's a bit revealing to read ones writing from previous years. Some of the entries I read were 6 years old, enough time to completely forget the painful emotions that some of the entries were inspired by. Rereading these entries felt similar to bonding with a complete stranger- which is sort of an irony because I believe that this is a part (if not the majority) of the reason why people spend so much time online in the first place, to find meaningful bonds that are lacking in day to day life.
Reading some of these past entries also makes me realize just how much has changed for me in the past few years; from the way I view myself in the world, the friendships I had/have, and how I view relationships.It is a relief to know that these things have been changing for the better, that I'm getting greater satisfaction out of my life now than before.
I'm still very hard on myself, though. However, I don't believe I'm as self-pitying as I was- which is a very fortunate thing. Feeling isolated in the world can be one of the most stunting things to ones personality (I don't want anyone to confuse this with the search for ones individualism). Isolation, in a lot of cases, is self-inflicted, and it is very emotionally immature to become self-pitying over a thing that is self-inflicted. I was, and to some extent still am, emotionally immature- even though I would have never had admitted this 6 years ago.
Overall, reading my old entries just reinforces my recent feelings of wanting to return to livejournal. I've become very disenchanted with sites like myspace, and to a much smaller extent, facebook. The internet is already an extremely superficial place, or at least it can be, and these other sites just reinforce a shallow mentality. These sites (mostly myspace)make me almost loathe being online at all. I can say that I have participated in certain aspects of shallowness, and am not necessarily so much ashamed as I am unimpressed with myself for doing so. Also, I have learned less about my online friends since their, and my, switch from places like livejournal to places like myspace. Nobody really talks to each other anymore, nobody regularly shares their thoughts- or, if they do, they're not complete thoughts. Instead, everyone leaves text-like comments to each other, we write short, uninteresting blogs about the most trivial stuff, and most of all, these sites contribute to an unhealthy amount of self-importance and narcissism that is detestable, especially in the young. And, an offense that is equal to these previous ones, they contribute to a false-knowledge of culture.
I should stop this here. I can write a complete essay on this subject, and I have been really giving some serious thought to it.
Anyway, as most of you have probably already figured out, I miss livejournal. I miss some of the people on here and communicating with them regularly. I miss being able to write out complete thoughts and having short discussions about them, and about everyone's experience in their small corner of the world.
I know I have promised to be around more, this time I'll do my best to honor that promise.
Tell your friends to ditch myspace. Let's talk more."