In Which I Do Not Have Bieber Fever
Adechike Meh. He really should have been in the bottom three, as far as I'm concerned, but I have a feeling a guy's going to have to really suck to land in the bottom three before there are only two girls left. Which scares me because I want to see as much Pasha as possible. Kathryn killed it, though.
Alex I did not care for the choreography. The shaky hands kept distracting me, and every time they had flat feet I was going, "No, point your toes! It looks better, I swear!" But it was beautifully danced. I kind of suspect he and Robert basically split the majority of the votes this week, with everyone else scrabbling for scraps. (I read somewhere that DialIdol had like eight people in the bottom three? Yeah.)
Alexie Okay, that was not her fault. She was dancing a routine about being a teenage girl with, teehee, her boyfriend sneaking in, to a Jason Mraz song. Of course it was total bubblegum. Plus she had a seriously tough act to follow. That said, her solo was lackluster and she was screwed by being in the bottom with two of the three non-contemporary-family dancers this season, but my heart breaks for her. She tried out four times, you guys.
Ashley Man, this show loves some A names, huh? I still feel like I have no clue who this child is, but I feel like A) she actually understood what the music was about and danced that, and B) she was completely genuine when she said she thought she was in love, but it was still smart and probably saved her ass. So I salute her. I think she must have pissed off makeup, though--the heavy eye makeup with nothing on her lips and cheeks made her look seriously washed out, which I was afraid would hurt her. But she's cute as a button.
Billy had to dance a genre that doesn't usually go over well on this show, choreographed by a guy many people are not fond of, with a dancer a lot of people (including me!) hate with unreasoning passion. Plus "Footloose" is the song that undid Evan Lysacek on DWTS, although, you know, Evan was pretty much screwed anyway. So mad props to him for surviving it, and may he get something decent next week.
Cristina I never really felt the Mark love, and the routine wasn't snaky enough for me. It felt like the movement wasn't sinuous enough, or some of the movements weren't finished, or something. More than once I found myself thinking, "This would look better if she had more of a neck." So I wasn't surprised to see her in the bottom three, despite the judges' praise. The more I see of her in her own style, the more I worry that she's just...not very good, and I want her to be. She's the only ballroomer, you guys!
Jose Comfort killed that. In her style, she is one of the best in the business. Damn. Jose...not so much. He was okay, but not great. I mean, obviously no one else there could've done a headspin, but...eh. I have seen better headspins, and better hip-hop.
Kent That wasn't a great cha-cha, but it was a decent one, and he didn't, like, die on the stage while dancing a cha-cha with Anya Garnis, so, you know, mad props to him. I am pretty sure that is the first time he has met a woman like that in his entire life. Hell, I don't think I've ever actually met a woman like that. I want to be her when I grow up. In the few moments I could peel my eyes off Anya (which, DAMN, GIRL) he seemed to be doing pretty well. Adam's analogy about finding your kid dancing in the lion cage at the zoo was apt, and this time the lion did not decide to eat him.
Lauren F. I know she's a good dancer, I just don't like her. It's a combination of the cheerleader smile she pastes on when she dances and her completely blank face when receiving criticism, I think.
Melinda I am not even going to lie, I have to take people's word for it that she was horrible, since basically the only times I noticed her was when she was in the way of my proper line of sight on Pasha (Who was, of course, excellent as always. Oh, Pasha, how I have missed you. Do that thing with your eyebrow again.). But bitch you did not just say it was harder to learn the jive because you had to dance with Pasha. I will grant that the jive is the ballroom dance an excellent partner like Pasha is probably least helpful with, because it's a lot of side-by-side work, but Pasha is a fairly competent teacher in addition to being an awesome dancer and completely dreamy, so, you know, eff her. Also, I didn't particularly care for her tapping.
Robert LOVED it. This was my favorite dance of the night, easy. "Hallelujah" was danced better, but this was fun. I've seen complaints that it wasn't, like, down enough for African jazz, but I felt like it completely captured the spirit of, "You're mystical creatures who've become human for one night, GO!" I kind of love Robert. Fantastic dancer, hotass, total goofball. What's not to like? When he makes his OMG face his eyebrows get really pointy and it's hilarious. I think he's getting judged unfairly by a lot of people because he looks so much older than he is. I'm sure he already knows he's a good dancer, yes, but when you're nineteen and Mia Michaels tells you you're awesome, well, cue the flail. Plus, he has the same sort of super-expressive face as Pasha, but he hasn't learned how to really use it yet. That will come with time. Maybe Pasha could give him lessons!
....and my mind just went to a really dirty place. Um.