I Demand More Hot Russians
As you may be aware, I like hot Russians, but who doesn't? As you may not be aware, since it seems to be one of those things I never quite get around to babbling about on here, I also like ballroom dancing! I can't dance to save my life, but I certainly enjoy watching it. So the return of So You Think You Can Dance with the announcement that my very favorite hot Russian ballroomers, Pasha Kovalev and Anya Garnis, would be on my TV every week thanks to this 'all-stars' business, is cause for great rejoicing.
There's a thing I don't get about SYTYCD auditions episodes. They show us the line, right, and in the line are people doing fantastic hip-hop and Latin ballroom-type moves for the camera. Flips! Spins! Sexy things with their partners! And then, yes, there are preliminary auditions before they even get to the judges and some of them get their asses sent home then because they are secretly not that great, but then by the time we get to the judges and what's televised, there are joke/bad auditions that take up way too much time, maybe one ballroomer or hip-hopper if we're lucky, and a parade of scantily clad eighteen-year-old contemporary girls showing off the exact same repertoire of contemporary skills until they all run together into one mess of tilts and pirouettes and I forget all their names.
To the best of my memory, they showed us, what, four ballroom auditions? Giselle Peacock and Henry Byalikov (who previously tore up the floor on SYTYCD Australia; funny how they didn't mention that, but he's a hot Russian with bonus Australian accent so I don't care, bring him on), the Czech guy, and Cristina Santana (who is salsa, not actually ballroom), and then there was some focus on Serge Onik (hot Russian! I approve) once they got to Vegas and he became That Girl With the Hair's knight in shining dance shoes--and seriously, she didn't dance that better because her hair was down, if she did dance it better, which I'm not sure she did; she danced better because she was dancing with someone who knew what the hell he was doing and had exceptional partnering skills. And I can only think of one hip-hopper, the b-boy from Florida, Jose Ruiz. I know there were way more in those lines. I'm not a big fan of hip-hop because I know nothing about it, but it can be very entertaining. I feel ripped off, okay?
I mean, I guess two of the five men's spots are pretty well spoken for by Billy Bell and Alex Wong, so they don't want to get us too excited about too many of the other dudes, but I still want to see interesting dancing! Otherwise what is the point of all this auditions madness? They didn't even show us any of the people who made it through to Vegas from Nashville--okay, there were only seven, and they may well have been scantily clad eighteen-year-old contemporary girls with the usual suspects as far as skills go, but still I feel certain they were more worthy of TV time than those giggly beginner-level flamenco girls.
That said? Bring on Pasha and Anya. The Russians cannot melt my TV soon enough.
I really should stop calling them 'the Russians,' actually. I'm pretty sure Anya's originally from Latvia.
And is it kind of horrible that I'm hoping that kid from Wapokeneta (see, Nigel, I can remember it), Ohio makes it through, and is made to dance, like, a samba with Anya? Because she will eat him alive without even meaning to, and it will be sad, yes, but also funny as hell.
There's a thing I don't get about SYTYCD auditions episodes. They show us the line, right, and in the line are people doing fantastic hip-hop and Latin ballroom-type moves for the camera. Flips! Spins! Sexy things with their partners! And then, yes, there are preliminary auditions before they even get to the judges and some of them get their asses sent home then because they are secretly not that great, but then by the time we get to the judges and what's televised, there are joke/bad auditions that take up way too much time, maybe one ballroomer or hip-hopper if we're lucky, and a parade of scantily clad eighteen-year-old contemporary girls showing off the exact same repertoire of contemporary skills until they all run together into one mess of tilts and pirouettes and I forget all their names.
To the best of my memory, they showed us, what, four ballroom auditions? Giselle Peacock and Henry Byalikov (who previously tore up the floor on SYTYCD Australia; funny how they didn't mention that, but he's a hot Russian with bonus Australian accent so I don't care, bring him on), the Czech guy, and Cristina Santana (who is salsa, not actually ballroom), and then there was some focus on Serge Onik (hot Russian! I approve) once they got to Vegas and he became That Girl With the Hair's knight in shining dance shoes--and seriously, she didn't dance that better because her hair was down, if she did dance it better, which I'm not sure she did; she danced better because she was dancing with someone who knew what the hell he was doing and had exceptional partnering skills. And I can only think of one hip-hopper, the b-boy from Florida, Jose Ruiz. I know there were way more in those lines. I'm not a big fan of hip-hop because I know nothing about it, but it can be very entertaining. I feel ripped off, okay?
I mean, I guess two of the five men's spots are pretty well spoken for by Billy Bell and Alex Wong, so they don't want to get us too excited about too many of the other dudes, but I still want to see interesting dancing! Otherwise what is the point of all this auditions madness? They didn't even show us any of the people who made it through to Vegas from Nashville--okay, there were only seven, and they may well have been scantily clad eighteen-year-old contemporary girls with the usual suspects as far as skills go, but still I feel certain they were more worthy of TV time than those giggly beginner-level flamenco girls.
That said? Bring on Pasha and Anya. The Russians cannot melt my TV soon enough.
I really should stop calling them 'the Russians,' actually. I'm pretty sure Anya's originally from Latvia.
And is it kind of horrible that I'm hoping that kid from Wapokeneta (see, Nigel, I can remember it), Ohio makes it through, and is made to dance, like, a samba with Anya? Because she will eat him alive without even meaning to, and it will be sad, yes, but also funny as hell.