tattoo hell or an average saturday at spanky's
ok, so i had to work saturday at the [tattoo] shop on saturday. the day started off normal enough, a few people showed up before the doors were even opened, ya know, normal stuff. so the boss gets there, bob called out so it'll be an early day [wooooo!]. so we go inside and our day begins. pretty soon the phone starts ringing and i'm assaulted by a barrage of some of the most asinine questions ever, again, normal stuff.
now, i've made a few observations about your average tatttoo shop patrons. there are few typical types we get in on a pretty regular basis:
the wanna be elitist: they come into the shop and ask questions about pricing, perfectly acceptable, buuut if there are other customers in the shop they have to announce that they're "picky about their designs" and how whatever they're getting is going to be more expensive than what other people are getting. if they're sooooo fucking picky about their designs then why are they picking something off of the boards?
the clueless girl: she wants something cute or completely stupid. she only brought 80 bucks and she wants a gigantic rose tattooed on her lower back. it ain't happening sweetheart.
the i know the artist people: they insist that they are tight with the artist because they've had one tattoo done at the shop. they come in with this cocky attitude and demand that they be seen even though there are people there ahead of them, some with appointments. chances are, the artist doesn't remember you, you are not getting yours first or at a discount.
the cover up people: they've gotten some really bad tattoo and want it covered up with something equally stupid. if you're gonna get a cover up, get something that you won't be in here a month later wanting to have covered up dumbasses.
the lookers: they'll spend hours looking at the boards, asking about the prices of everything and then decide they don't want a tattoo after all. i hate the lookers. if i spend all that time with you, running up and down those damned stairs asking about pricing you better get something done, you fucks!
now we come to my absolute favorite [can you feel the sarcasm?], the drunk/junkie: they come into the shop, boasting that they know the artist and demand that they and whoever they brought with them be seen immediately. they expect the artist to just drop whatever they're doing and take them. they want to get up in your face, breathing their stench all over you in the process and gawd forbid you come out of the office and have to help someone else. then they start with the touching. ewwwwwwwww!!
we had a rather persistant drunk on saturday. he came into the shop, claiming that he knew the boss, demanding to see her so that he and his high off their asses friends could get some lameass tattoos. i told him that the other artist called out and that the boss was going to be busy until 3:30 and to come back then. he said that he wasn't leaving until he saw the boss. while he's blathering on someone came in with a question so i went upstairs to ask the boss, i mentioned that there was some drunk asshole downstairs saying that he wasn't leaving until he saw her. she got up from what she was doing and came downstairs. immediately the guy's tone changed from demanding and arrogant to the stuttering fool [the boss can be rather intimidating, i love her!]. so the guy says he'll wait, but he's trying to follow the boss upstairs. she tells him to get the fuck out and wait like everyone else. i had to lock the door and it was hot in there. stupid fucker. so he keeps asking when she'll see him and i repeat after 3:30. he says he'll be back. so for hours he keeps coming back, bugging me, trying to get me to sweet talk the boss into seeing him and his "friends" who wouldn't have gotten tattooed anyways, they were high as fuck.
so, throughout the day whenever i'd have to go up and ask the boss something she'd ask if he was still there. after about an hour of this crap she says that when her 2:00 gets there we're locking the gate. wooooo! so an early night has now become an even earlier night. he came back right before the 2:00 got there [she was late]. thankfully my husband showed up soon after he came back so that when i told the guy he would have to come back monday he actually left without any problem. i was outta there by 4:30 instead of 6:00 as originally planned. ha! i guess i should be thanking the drunk guy, either him or bam for keeping the boss up so late in the first place. either way, i was glad to get out of there early. i think if i had to put up with the drunk guy one minute longer i would have lost it and went off. ah, tattoo hell, as the boss says, it ain't like what you see on tv kids.
copied and pasted from a rant i made elsewhere for my convenience.