Two Letters
Behind the cut: a pair of letters.
Which cut?
Dear Kitten,
You are adorable, and I am grateful for your furry presence in my otherwise fur-less life. You have brought me immeasurable comfort in the short time that we have been together, and for that, I will give you a lifetime of healthy food, affection, timely veterinary care, and many, many cat toys. I do, however, have a request.
Please stop chewing cords. This is dangerous to your health and perilous to my pocketbook (and my tenuous schedule). Last night, you managed to destroy an eighty dollar computer cable with one bite. I'd like to live in a world where it is feasible to always keep you away from these things, but unfortunately, I live in reality, and here, it's never going to happen. Now, I am a little behind schedule, and out eighty dollars. Try to chew on things that are a little less pricey, like the cardboard you love so well, or even my shoes. I wear cheap-ass shoes.
Thank you,
Your Person
Dear Apple Store,
You are utterly rad. I love that you can check me out anywhere that I am standing in the store, as long as I am talking to one of your knowledgeable, friendly, and attractive blue-shirted Apple vendors. I hate that you are totally crowded most of the time, but I understand; you are too cool to be empty. I wish against wish, however, that you were not in the mall. Man oh man. I despise the mall, and this mall is particularly ridiculous, with its size and volume and traffic. Apple Store...that's how much I love you. I braved the mall for you and this is not something I ever willingly do.
One day, when I finally sell out and make tons of money, I will frequent you at less busy hours and probably drop a fair amount of cash and/or credit because-let's be honest-you are THAT cool, and I am THAT intrigued by many of your offerings. Thank you, Apple Store, for having my computer cable in stock so that I did not have to lose three tense working days to a cat-related power adapter accident. I'll see you again someday, but hopefully not too, too soon.
Best,
Kay
Which cut?
Dear Kitten,
You are adorable, and I am grateful for your furry presence in my otherwise fur-less life. You have brought me immeasurable comfort in the short time that we have been together, and for that, I will give you a lifetime of healthy food, affection, timely veterinary care, and many, many cat toys. I do, however, have a request.
Please stop chewing cords. This is dangerous to your health and perilous to my pocketbook (and my tenuous schedule). Last night, you managed to destroy an eighty dollar computer cable with one bite. I'd like to live in a world where it is feasible to always keep you away from these things, but unfortunately, I live in reality, and here, it's never going to happen. Now, I am a little behind schedule, and out eighty dollars. Try to chew on things that are a little less pricey, like the cardboard you love so well, or even my shoes. I wear cheap-ass shoes.
Thank you,
Your Person
Dear Apple Store,
You are utterly rad. I love that you can check me out anywhere that I am standing in the store, as long as I am talking to one of your knowledgeable, friendly, and attractive blue-shirted Apple vendors. I hate that you are totally crowded most of the time, but I understand; you are too cool to be empty. I wish against wish, however, that you were not in the mall. Man oh man. I despise the mall, and this mall is particularly ridiculous, with its size and volume and traffic. Apple Store...that's how much I love you. I braved the mall for you and this is not something I ever willingly do.
One day, when I finally sell out and make tons of money, I will frequent you at less busy hours and probably drop a fair amount of cash and/or credit because-let's be honest-you are THAT cool, and I am THAT intrigued by many of your offerings. Thank you, Apple Store, for having my computer cable in stock so that I did not have to lose three tense working days to a cat-related power adapter accident. I'll see you again someday, but hopefully not too, too soon.
Best,
Kay