Fic
I don't even know. I wrote this in an hour over AIM to my friends, in light of Gerard Way's red-possibly-pink hair. Whatever, I'm posting it.
Title: Your Hopeless Hair
Characters: Gerard Way, LynZ, Brendon Urie
Summary: "I was thinking just color and a trim," Brendon said, putting on an air of professionalism he shouldn't have been able to manage in the middle of Gerard's kitchen.
Gerard's not really sure how Brendon Urie got his phone number, but his mother raised him right so he's totally polite.
"I hear you've been wanting to change things up now that the Black Parade is dead and all."
Brendon is trying to sound nonchalant, but Gerard has Bob and Frank as band mates. He doesn't fall for that shit.
"Where'd you hear that?"
"Oh, you know, around."
Gerard is making a mental list of the people who could have put Brendon up to this. Pete Wentz comes immediately to mind, meaning Mikey is probably in on it. Or Alicia. She stole his skeleton pajamas; he wouldn't be surprised if she sold all his contact information to Wentz for sex tips to use on Mikey.
Gerard is making a mental note to never think about his brother and sex again.
"Yeah...I guess I have been wanting to mix things up." It's a risk, but Gerard is ready to take it.
"Awesome! You know, I was going to be a hair dresser....I could change up your hair. If you wanted."
Motherfucker. How did the kid manage to be adorable over the phone?
"Oh. I mean, I haven't really thought about that but that might be okay--"
"Cool! I'll be over in a few minutes!"
Gerard stared at his phone as the dial tone hummed quietly out of it.
What did he just do?
Brendon, true to his word, walked straight into the house six minutes later.
He had a duffel bag stuffed to its limit and a smile that had to be causing global warming.
Gerard hovered warily in the hall doorway. He was sure he locked the front door.
"Did I forget to lock the door?"
"Nah, man, I just used the spare."
"....there isn't a spare."
Brendon looked a little shifty, but his bright smile didn't waver. "Mikey lent me his."
"Mikey doesn't have a key," Which was totally a lie, but Gerard wanted to know how many people were conspiring against his hair.
"Well, Mikey lent his to Frank, who gave it to Jamia. And Jamia gave it to Gabe's brother who gave it to Gabe. And then Gabe lent it to Pete who lent it to me."
To say Gerard was disturbed by the number of people who could have walked into his home at any time would be a gross understatement.
"That's....um. Christ, Gabe could have just walked in here! Fucking---I don't even know who to blame. Everyone I know?"
Brendon's eyes became very wide and apologetic. "I didn't mean to upset you. Maybe you should sit down?"
Gerard nodded and wandered into the kitchen. If he had to deal with this shit he was going to need coffee.
Brendon followed quietly behind him. Once Gerard was sitting down at the table, Brendon whisked a hairdressing cape onto him.
"Hey! I could have spilled my coffee!" Gerard wriggled his arms out and settled the mug in his lap.
Only then did it occur to him the situation he happened to be in.
"Wait wait wait! What are you going to do?"
Brendon was already combing out Gerard's hair, gently removing tangles with an amount of care that was confidence inspiring.
Gerard thought that it was a good thing he washed his hair last night.
"I was thinking just color and a trim," Brendon said, putting on an air of professionalism he shouldn't have been able to manage in the middle of Gerard's kitchen.
Gerard decided that he must be getting old. He's always done crazy thing with his hair. What could Brendon possibly do that would be weirder than what Gerard had already done? Nevertheless, he still agreed a little nervously.
Lindsey came home while Gerard's roots were setting, his hair sticking up stiffly around his head. Of course, she had seen his hair in states of approximately equivalent hilarity, so she just walked over and kissed his forehead.
"I see you're having an interesting day." Then she noticed Brendon sitting on the floor, reading a tabloid he had brought with him. "Who's the puppy?"
Gerard made a very put upon face. "That's Brendon. He got a hold of our house key through a chain of people originating at Mikey. No, we can't keep him."
Lindsey hung her purse on a hook. "That's a shame. You couldn't offer him a chair?"
"He started out on a chair. Then he started going through the drawers. And now he's on the floor."
Brendon looked up and grinned at Lindsey. "He forgot to mention the part where he told me to 'stop fucking up the kitchen and sit down before you cut yourself'" Then he went back to reading the magazine. "I'm so glad Britney is getting her shit together."
Gerard could tell Lindsey was completely charmed by the kid. "Can't keep him. He belongs to Pete Wentz."
"Do not!"
"Okay, sure, of course you don't," Gerard replied. He glanced sadly at his empty coffee mug. This hair thing is taking longer than he expected. He usually just dyed his hair himself in ten minutes.
Lindsey handed him a full coffee mug and said, "I'm going to call Alicia about the key problem."
As she left the room, Gerard was reminded of why his wife is awesome.
Gerard sipped at his coffee while Brendon combed the dye through the rest of his hair. He could hear Lindsey laughing on the phone in the other room. He decided everything was going to turn out okay despite the extremely bizarre circumstances.
Brendon rinsed the dye in the kitchen sink and talked endlessly about his band, various woodland creatures he had befriended and named while at the cabin and some other stuff Gerard couldn't quite make out because of the water in his ears.
"Hey, the big reveal is coming up!" Brendon called into the other room.
Lindsey wandered into the kitchen just as Brendon was finishing blow drying Gerard's hair. It was weird how much shit he managed to cram in that duffel.
She stood just inside the door, biting her lower lip and looked as if she was barely suppressing laughter. Gerard decided that this did not bode well.
"V-wah-la!" Brendon shouted as he produced a mirror and held it in front of Gerard's face.
Gerard was speechless. Whatever expression he had on his face must have caused Lindsey to lose her self-control because she started laughing loudly. His hair was a rosy red, almost pink color. He was sure Mikey had a My Little Pony with the same color mane and tail.
"Do you like it?" Brendon asked genuinely. He was smiling shyly now, like he wasn't sure how his work would be taken.
Fucking puppy eyes.
"Yes. Yes, of course I like it, Brendon."
Brendon smiled happily. There go the polar bears. "I'm so glad!" he said and hugged Gerard around the shoulders.
As Brendon started packing up his stuff, Gerard stood up and took off the cape. Lindsey walked over, still stifling giggles, and kissed him. When she pulled away she said, "I like it."
Gerard just smiled. And then he asked if Brendon wanted to stay for dinner.
Title: Your Hopeless Hair
Characters: Gerard Way, LynZ, Brendon Urie
Summary: "I was thinking just color and a trim," Brendon said, putting on an air of professionalism he shouldn't have been able to manage in the middle of Gerard's kitchen.
Gerard's not really sure how Brendon Urie got his phone number, but his mother raised him right so he's totally polite.
"I hear you've been wanting to change things up now that the Black Parade is dead and all."
Brendon is trying to sound nonchalant, but Gerard has Bob and Frank as band mates. He doesn't fall for that shit.
"Where'd you hear that?"
"Oh, you know, around."
Gerard is making a mental list of the people who could have put Brendon up to this. Pete Wentz comes immediately to mind, meaning Mikey is probably in on it. Or Alicia. She stole his skeleton pajamas; he wouldn't be surprised if she sold all his contact information to Wentz for sex tips to use on Mikey.
Gerard is making a mental note to never think about his brother and sex again.
"Yeah...I guess I have been wanting to mix things up." It's a risk, but Gerard is ready to take it.
"Awesome! You know, I was going to be a hair dresser....I could change up your hair. If you wanted."
Motherfucker. How did the kid manage to be adorable over the phone?
"Oh. I mean, I haven't really thought about that but that might be okay--"
"Cool! I'll be over in a few minutes!"
Gerard stared at his phone as the dial tone hummed quietly out of it.
What did he just do?
Brendon, true to his word, walked straight into the house six minutes later.
He had a duffel bag stuffed to its limit and a smile that had to be causing global warming.
Gerard hovered warily in the hall doorway. He was sure he locked the front door.
"Did I forget to lock the door?"
"Nah, man, I just used the spare."
"....there isn't a spare."
Brendon looked a little shifty, but his bright smile didn't waver. "Mikey lent me his."
"Mikey doesn't have a key," Which was totally a lie, but Gerard wanted to know how many people were conspiring against his hair.
"Well, Mikey lent his to Frank, who gave it to Jamia. And Jamia gave it to Gabe's brother who gave it to Gabe. And then Gabe lent it to Pete who lent it to me."
To say Gerard was disturbed by the number of people who could have walked into his home at any time would be a gross understatement.
"That's....um. Christ, Gabe could have just walked in here! Fucking---I don't even know who to blame. Everyone I know?"
Brendon's eyes became very wide and apologetic. "I didn't mean to upset you. Maybe you should sit down?"
Gerard nodded and wandered into the kitchen. If he had to deal with this shit he was going to need coffee.
Brendon followed quietly behind him. Once Gerard was sitting down at the table, Brendon whisked a hairdressing cape onto him.
"Hey! I could have spilled my coffee!" Gerard wriggled his arms out and settled the mug in his lap.
Only then did it occur to him the situation he happened to be in.
"Wait wait wait! What are you going to do?"
Brendon was already combing out Gerard's hair, gently removing tangles with an amount of care that was confidence inspiring.
Gerard thought that it was a good thing he washed his hair last night.
"I was thinking just color and a trim," Brendon said, putting on an air of professionalism he shouldn't have been able to manage in the middle of Gerard's kitchen.
Gerard decided that he must be getting old. He's always done crazy thing with his hair. What could Brendon possibly do that would be weirder than what Gerard had already done? Nevertheless, he still agreed a little nervously.
Lindsey came home while Gerard's roots were setting, his hair sticking up stiffly around his head. Of course, she had seen his hair in states of approximately equivalent hilarity, so she just walked over and kissed his forehead.
"I see you're having an interesting day." Then she noticed Brendon sitting on the floor, reading a tabloid he had brought with him. "Who's the puppy?"
Gerard made a very put upon face. "That's Brendon. He got a hold of our house key through a chain of people originating at Mikey. No, we can't keep him."
Lindsey hung her purse on a hook. "That's a shame. You couldn't offer him a chair?"
"He started out on a chair. Then he started going through the drawers. And now he's on the floor."
Brendon looked up and grinned at Lindsey. "He forgot to mention the part where he told me to 'stop fucking up the kitchen and sit down before you cut yourself'" Then he went back to reading the magazine. "I'm so glad Britney is getting her shit together."
Gerard could tell Lindsey was completely charmed by the kid. "Can't keep him. He belongs to Pete Wentz."
"Do not!"
"Okay, sure, of course you don't," Gerard replied. He glanced sadly at his empty coffee mug. This hair thing is taking longer than he expected. He usually just dyed his hair himself in ten minutes.
Lindsey handed him a full coffee mug and said, "I'm going to call Alicia about the key problem."
As she left the room, Gerard was reminded of why his wife is awesome.
Gerard sipped at his coffee while Brendon combed the dye through the rest of his hair. He could hear Lindsey laughing on the phone in the other room. He decided everything was going to turn out okay despite the extremely bizarre circumstances.
Brendon rinsed the dye in the kitchen sink and talked endlessly about his band, various woodland creatures he had befriended and named while at the cabin and some other stuff Gerard couldn't quite make out because of the water in his ears.
"Hey, the big reveal is coming up!" Brendon called into the other room.
Lindsey wandered into the kitchen just as Brendon was finishing blow drying Gerard's hair. It was weird how much shit he managed to cram in that duffel.
She stood just inside the door, biting her lower lip and looked as if she was barely suppressing laughter. Gerard decided that this did not bode well.
"V-wah-la!" Brendon shouted as he produced a mirror and held it in front of Gerard's face.
Gerard was speechless. Whatever expression he had on his face must have caused Lindsey to lose her self-control because she started laughing loudly. His hair was a rosy red, almost pink color. He was sure Mikey had a My Little Pony with the same color mane and tail.
"Do you like it?" Brendon asked genuinely. He was smiling shyly now, like he wasn't sure how his work would be taken.
Fucking puppy eyes.
"Yes. Yes, of course I like it, Brendon."
Brendon smiled happily. There go the polar bears. "I'm so glad!" he said and hugged Gerard around the shoulders.
As Brendon started packing up his stuff, Gerard stood up and took off the cape. Lindsey walked over, still stifling giggles, and kissed him. When she pulled away she said, "I like it."
Gerard just smiled. And then he asked if Brendon wanted to stay for dinner.