A deranged man's thoughts. Version 2.0
4 years later, give or take. What changed? Wait, did anything really change at all, or was it just my own perception of things? Does that count as change?
"People don't change." I've heard that many times over the years, from many people. Let's assume that is correct. People don't change. In order not to change, we have to take a given moment in time and presume it to be the moment when the person was "formed", and never changed after that. Following me so far? Ok, so what is THAT moment when a person's character, personality is formed? Who molds it? God? Fate? Genetics? The environment? Randomness? A pack of wolves? Just what the fuck sets it in stone?
I don't believe any of those things-entities-whatever define you for good. It's up to you, and you alone, to become better - or worse. Your call. It's you who is able to learn from your mistakes. From your life experiences. From other people's experiences. From any source of knowledge. You, and solely you, can decide to use any of those sources as means to personal growth. And that I have no doubt in my mind is possible. If you have the will to do it. And I don't mean just blowing steam. I mean actually getting of your metaforical ass and doing it. Actions, not words, define if you have changed or not.
I've tried a lot to learn from the many mistakes I've made throughout the years (in particular the ones during the past 7 years (since I started the journal - not because of it, but for tracking purposes). I can say without a doubt in my mind that I am a better person today. For myself. For others. In general. I'm better. You can argue that it's a matter of point of view and you would be correct, so feel free to argue, if you feel like it. I can construct my point of view with examples:
-social skills;
-empathy (ok, I'm not all that better at that, but I've improved. Come on, I'm an engineer, damn it, give me a break);
-hability to work in teams (when I was almost graduating from college, I was the #1 pick to go work in a lab, far away from people, most likely because I was assumed to have a great chance of killing any idiots that worked with me). Many years later, and I'm one of the few working with A LOT of people - and being successful at it, might I add.
Willpower is the keyword here. You want it? Do you? Are you sure? Really really? For good? For real? OK. So prove it. Then I'll believe you want to change.
Is it easy, hard, impossible? It's a matter of willpower VS magnitude of change, in that case.
You're not a number. You're not what people tell you are. You are whatever the fuck you want IF your willpower > magnitude of the change you want to go through.
Oh, and you have to sustain that relation (a > b) for as long as you want the change you've made to endure. It's not something you can simply turn off and relax. You want it, gotta work for it. And, sometimes, DANGER will make you try new things. Or put a new twist on old ones.
But now I've already lost my chain of thoughts, so I'll stop here, for now. Other topics will come soon.
"People don't change." I've heard that many times over the years, from many people. Let's assume that is correct. People don't change. In order not to change, we have to take a given moment in time and presume it to be the moment when the person was "formed", and never changed after that. Following me so far? Ok, so what is THAT moment when a person's character, personality is formed? Who molds it? God? Fate? Genetics? The environment? Randomness? A pack of wolves? Just what the fuck sets it in stone?
I don't believe any of those things-entities-whatever define you for good. It's up to you, and you alone, to become better - or worse. Your call. It's you who is able to learn from your mistakes. From your life experiences. From other people's experiences. From any source of knowledge. You, and solely you, can decide to use any of those sources as means to personal growth. And that I have no doubt in my mind is possible. If you have the will to do it. And I don't mean just blowing steam. I mean actually getting of your metaforical ass and doing it. Actions, not words, define if you have changed or not.
I've tried a lot to learn from the many mistakes I've made throughout the years (in particular the ones during the past 7 years (since I started the journal - not because of it, but for tracking purposes). I can say without a doubt in my mind that I am a better person today. For myself. For others. In general. I'm better. You can argue that it's a matter of point of view and you would be correct, so feel free to argue, if you feel like it. I can construct my point of view with examples:
-social skills;
-empathy (ok, I'm not all that better at that, but I've improved. Come on, I'm an engineer, damn it, give me a break);
-hability to work in teams (when I was almost graduating from college, I was the #1 pick to go work in a lab, far away from people, most likely because I was assumed to have a great chance of killing any idiots that worked with me). Many years later, and I'm one of the few working with A LOT of people - and being successful at it, might I add.
Willpower is the keyword here. You want it? Do you? Are you sure? Really really? For good? For real? OK. So prove it. Then I'll believe you want to change.
Is it easy, hard, impossible? It's a matter of willpower VS magnitude of change, in that case.
You're not a number. You're not what people tell you are. You are whatever the fuck you want IF your willpower > magnitude of the change you want to go through.
Oh, and you have to sustain that relation (a > b) for as long as you want the change you've made to endure. It's not something you can simply turn off and relax. You want it, gotta work for it. And, sometimes, DANGER will make you try new things. Or put a new twist on old ones.
But now I've already lost my chain of thoughts, so I'll stop here, for now. Other topics will come soon.