you wake up, you get dressed.
life is incredibly repetitive right now.
get up, read a little, check emails, sit around or sit on msn, get ready for work, work, watch tv, read more, bed.
dull.
i got my results today, pass with 65%. i'm pretty shocked about that considering i was only aiming for 40% due to my lack of attendance and general laziness. once again i've proven to myself that i could actually do really well if i made the effort, shame. i could say i'll try harder at uni but who knows. i always say i'll try harder but it gets to the point where i get stressed and the insomnia starts again so then it's tough. since i finished college i've been sleeping quite normally actually. hm.
i went shopping with rick last friday, it was nice. i think out of everyone i haven't seen in a while he's the one i could meet up with and everything would still be the same. he's still rick, bless him.
i'm at a loss of what to do. two years ago my routine was exact, go to college, go out three times a week and see everyone. now everything has moved on, everyones progressed and the new crowd is totally different, not something i want to be part of. so going out has lost it's fun. i have a better group of friends now, i do miss rick but having girlfriends is nice. still can't handle spending much time with people, i'm so easily annoyed by the simplest things and i definitely need a lot of time with just my head and i. or at least silence.
i strive for perfection in people, not even perfection just consistency really. i dislike a lot of things about myself but the one thing i am is consistant, failures in others just annoy the hell out of me.
i think i've distanced myself from most the things/people who were getting me down. becky and i are on alright terms, possibly because i never see her anymore, but we're ok when we go out together. actually i lie, i did shout at her for trying to get involved in arguments that had nothing to do with her last time i saw her. oops.
i think i'm at the stage of life where things need to change.i have no interest in the social arguments, status or anything petty like that, and it annoys me that i'm surrounded by people who care about it so much. not my close friends but you know. as much as we do things that aren't connected, i still don't feel as though i'm away from it. probably because tanis is so myspace compulsive and informs me of whats going on in everyones life.
maybe things will start progressing in september. i need to be around different people i think, i literally only see 4 people unless i'm in work, that is unhealthy.
conversation is needed i think. not that i don't like seeing them, or their conversation isn't enough, i just think if i only know the thoughts and opinions of four people thats a little...bizarre. and narrow.
my skin disease is still raging, nearly three months now. it is actually really hard, and although i make light of it and joke about it, my friends should actually step back and think how they'd handle looking like this. pity and sympathy would make it SO much worse, so i think they've done the best thing. but yeah, sly comments are not appreciated.
its turned out to be a form of psoriasis only 2% of the population have, its supposed to last around three months then clear up but there's a strong possibility it could lead to the normal type of psoriasis. i think that'd be a LOT easier to handle than this, this is literally all over me. i have a bikini of normal skin and thats it. i feel and look like a leper.
PLUS i have a broken foot! yeah it never rains but pours, i kicked the wooden toilet door in stairways thinking it'd move. it didn't. i didn't notice my foot was broken until the wednesday after [5 days!] when i felt my foot and theres pretty much a bone just sticking out of it. i have to go to the hospital tomorrow to see what they're going to do about it, if they plaster it i'm fucked. can't work, possibly won't get sick pay as i haven't been there thirteen weeks. brilliant.
thats pretty much it in the life of me at the moment, the males in my life need not speaking of as the love is not talking to me for reasons unknown, and i fucked the plaything off as he turned into a little bit of a psycho stalker.
i need something good, really soon. please.
get up, read a little, check emails, sit around or sit on msn, get ready for work, work, watch tv, read more, bed.
dull.
i got my results today, pass with 65%. i'm pretty shocked about that considering i was only aiming for 40% due to my lack of attendance and general laziness. once again i've proven to myself that i could actually do really well if i made the effort, shame. i could say i'll try harder at uni but who knows. i always say i'll try harder but it gets to the point where i get stressed and the insomnia starts again so then it's tough. since i finished college i've been sleeping quite normally actually. hm.
i went shopping with rick last friday, it was nice. i think out of everyone i haven't seen in a while he's the one i could meet up with and everything would still be the same. he's still rick, bless him.
i'm at a loss of what to do. two years ago my routine was exact, go to college, go out three times a week and see everyone. now everything has moved on, everyones progressed and the new crowd is totally different, not something i want to be part of. so going out has lost it's fun. i have a better group of friends now, i do miss rick but having girlfriends is nice. still can't handle spending much time with people, i'm so easily annoyed by the simplest things and i definitely need a lot of time with just my head and i. or at least silence.
i strive for perfection in people, not even perfection just consistency really. i dislike a lot of things about myself but the one thing i am is consistant, failures in others just annoy the hell out of me.
i think i've distanced myself from most the things/people who were getting me down. becky and i are on alright terms, possibly because i never see her anymore, but we're ok when we go out together. actually i lie, i did shout at her for trying to get involved in arguments that had nothing to do with her last time i saw her. oops.
i think i'm at the stage of life where things need to change.i have no interest in the social arguments, status or anything petty like that, and it annoys me that i'm surrounded by people who care about it so much. not my close friends but you know. as much as we do things that aren't connected, i still don't feel as though i'm away from it. probably because tanis is so myspace compulsive and informs me of whats going on in everyones life.
maybe things will start progressing in september. i need to be around different people i think, i literally only see 4 people unless i'm in work, that is unhealthy.
conversation is needed i think. not that i don't like seeing them, or their conversation isn't enough, i just think if i only know the thoughts and opinions of four people thats a little...bizarre. and narrow.
my skin disease is still raging, nearly three months now. it is actually really hard, and although i make light of it and joke about it, my friends should actually step back and think how they'd handle looking like this. pity and sympathy would make it SO much worse, so i think they've done the best thing. but yeah, sly comments are not appreciated.
its turned out to be a form of psoriasis only 2% of the population have, its supposed to last around three months then clear up but there's a strong possibility it could lead to the normal type of psoriasis. i think that'd be a LOT easier to handle than this, this is literally all over me. i have a bikini of normal skin and thats it. i feel and look like a leper.
PLUS i have a broken foot! yeah it never rains but pours, i kicked the wooden toilet door in stairways thinking it'd move. it didn't. i didn't notice my foot was broken until the wednesday after [5 days!] when i felt my foot and theres pretty much a bone just sticking out of it. i have to go to the hospital tomorrow to see what they're going to do about it, if they plaster it i'm fucked. can't work, possibly won't get sick pay as i haven't been there thirteen weeks. brilliant.
thats pretty much it in the life of me at the moment, the males in my life need not speaking of as the love is not talking to me for reasons unknown, and i fucked the plaything off as he turned into a little bit of a psycho stalker.
i need something good, really soon. please.