And the Oscar For Best Performance Goes tooooo: Anyone But Me
I was at an awards ceremony - the Oscars maybe. Walking in, I saw a few people with young babies. I thought that was odd. In the auditorium, I had to do some bit that was apparently a classic where I was given a Barbie that was wearing the same clothes as someone in an aisle seat. I don't remember the first time I did it, but the second time it was a Barbie wearing a pink two-piece dress. The dress reminded me of Jackie Kennedy's but without the black. Kristen Bell was wearing it, so I spent a minute acting like the Barbie was looking her over to see if she really believed they had worn the same thing to the show. I started to walk away but then paused before turning back to look at Kristen's shoes. Her bare feet were on some low part of the back of the chair in front of her. I lifted the Barbie up and held her nose. It didn't get the laughs I expected, so I moved on. I saw Will Sasso with a newborn and we talked for a good minute. Then I stopped at Sharon Osbourne. She had a box on her lap, so I inquired what was inside. She opened it and said it was Ozzy's new wigs. She picked one out and it was medium-length, straight black with bangs and red tinsle highlights. I told her I have a wig but it looks so fake that I gave up wearing it. (Not true, it just doesn't fit as perfectly as I'd like.) She went on to talk about wigs and I snuck a peek at the packing slip inside the box. As I expected, each wig was around $200 and she had ordered three. Then I sat in the aisle as I pondered something or nothing at all. Someone came up behind me, took out my bun against my wishes (though I did nothing to try to stop them), then trimmed my dead ends. A little later I had an out-of-body experience and saw my hair was straight-ish and the ends were softer. Ok, thanks. Then it was time for me to put my dress on. I found the ladies room but it was such a maze. When I first walked in, there were a number of ways to go and it wasn't immediately clear which ways would have stalls. I went left and found an open changing area, then some private bathrooms that looked like they were for special use only (I think one was for if the power was out?), then ended up back at the front. There were a couple people following me and we all ran to go back to one of the forks to try a different way. I ended up stopping at one of the private bathrooms that someone had just walked out of. There were two toilets in the small sinkless room, so I stuck my head out of the door and said, "There are two toilets in here if someone wants to join me!" I laughed but nobody thought it was funny. There was a u-shaped counter in the middle of the area, like a checkout desk, and at first I thought I saw Will there, but it turned out to be Cynthia. She wasn't laughing and I was like Hmph :( They might have thought I was serious and twisted. The toilets were low to the ground and rather messy. I hovered and had to hold on to a black pipe that was in front of me (but it didn't belong to a sink). The toilet paper was so narrow and thin that I had a hard time drying myself. The bathroom was too small and gross for me to change in there, so I had to go back and find the open dressing area. I didn't find it, but I did find Will and his baby again, then Danielle from high school (who also had a baby?), then I ended up in a bookstore/coffee shop that was inside the bathroom. It was getting ridiculous.