BRENDON URIE, THANK YOU FOR BEING SPECTACULAR.
In summary:
This is Brendon Urie. On stage. Wearing the bow tie I gave him.
BEST. EVER.
In FAR less summary:
So, there's this BAND. They are called Panic! at the Disco. I kind of like them a lot. You may have noticed? They are currently on tour. I go to concerts. This is a happy coincidence! Because that means that me_maneuver, zabira, and I got to go to THEIR CONCERT. TWICE.
Let's start this a few months back: I'm kind of in their fanclub. Because I really am that much of a dork, and they really seem to care about their fanclub (to the extent that MY ACTUAL NAME is listed in the "Special Thanks to our fanclub" credits of the recent DVD ♥) The fanclub members were able to purchase tickets in presale mode - either general admission, or could upgrade to additional levels that included special merch and a chance to meet the band. We decided we were going twice - just general admission in Seattle, full on crazy fangirl meet and greet package in Portland. There were plans made and gifts purchased and thoughts about to say to the boys.
But then, SURPRISE! We win an upgrade to the meet and greet in Seattle! So now, we're the strange people stalking them up the coast.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OKAY THEN.
Friday: took off work. Woke up early. Drove to Seattle. Collected Z, and headed directly down to the Showbox. We parked the car, walked to a nearby restaurant, ate tasty foods, walked back to the venue to join the other M&G people. The ever-wonderful romanticalgirl came and chatted with us until they allowed her to take a seat at the bar. Zack appeared, teased us about the rain, was generally amusing, and eventually led us into the venue for the M&G. There was the famous "don't be a creeper" speech, and then THE BOYS, OMG, and there's this thing, where I KNOW that they are just GUYS who are IN A BAND and sure, CUTE and TALENTED, but, you know, PEOPLE, but also this thing where they've inspired me to push myself and TRY THINGS and WORK FOR THINGS and yes, I overidentify with Ryan Ross and so am STUPIDLY GRATEFUL to Spencer Smith for being his best friend, and how watching Brendon grow up and turn into this really good person over the past few years has become all wrapped up in my head with the idea of ambition, and this realization that it's OKAY TO WANT THINGS FOR MYSELF, and how I am RIDICULOUSLY proud of him for what he's achieved with the newest album.
ALL THE FEELINGS. I HAVE THEM.
But, TALKING TO THEM. Okay.
I had brought "A Picture With Books" for signing, because it's SO SPECIAL and "Live in Chicago" is the reason I fell in love with them as MUSICIANS.
Since my wife is AWESOME, she'd arranged "The Ballad of Mona Lisa" for harp, and brought them sheet music to sign!
Dallon: I told him how much I LOVED the Brobecks (his solo indie band. "Violent Things" is hands down my favorite bandom6D album. SO STRANGE. DISTURBINGLY SEXY. AWESOME), and wished his wife a happy birthday - he'd said something on twitter about missing out on it.
Spencer: Okay, seriously. SPENCER SMITH. SO MUCH PRETTIER IN PERSON. I CAN'T EVEN. And MORE than that, he's surprisingly INTENSE. He often seems sleepy and a bit standoffish in interviews, but in person, he's got a whole lot of focus, and he looks you right in the eye and smiles and there are freckles and HELLO. ALL THE THOUGHTS. GONE. I think I agreed a lot. And then joined in me_maneuver's conversation about the sheet music and how she'd posted a recording on youtube and I think I was really stupid for a minute?
Ian: He is SO SMILEY and TINY and I think we talked about how I saw him in Stamps back in October and how that was cool, and how I was sad there weren't more people to appreciate it.
BRENDON: I don't think I was expecting him to be so APPROACHABLE. He's just THERE, and happy and dorky and tiny and impossible not to like. He took the book and SMILED, and then flipped through it a bit and looked at the pics and thanked me for choosing the bring it. And I got up my nerve and my MEMORY and told him that "Northern Downpour" was the song that inspired me to start playing the guitar, and he asked if I had an acoustic, so I told him I had a Hummingbird. He said that that was an amazing first instrument, and that they are beautiful. I managed to NOT mention that mine is NAMED AFTER HIM, because that crosses the line from "normal awkward" to "CREEPY".
ALSO - Brendon signs his name "Brendon Urie!" :D!
And then there was A PICTURE and I somehow attempted to respect Brendon's personal space a bit too much but it's otherwise NOT EMBARRASSING, so I'll call it a win?
THAN: OMFG SHOW. SHOW AT THE BARRICADE. Let's just gloss over:
-I'd never done barricade before, was a bit intimidated, but determined to hold my ground.
- Showbox security. WOW. WINS A LOT. Kept the crazy to an absolute minimum. Were VERY AWARE. Z and I sort of bonded with security guy, were deemed trustworthy and amusing, got free water.
- Funeral Party: not bad. Not GOOD, but they can play. Lacking in charisma - their frontman has a lot of INTENSITY, but it's sort of inwardly directed and it doesn't really connect at all.
- fun. OKAY, I'd been HOPING for that match-up since I first heard fun.'s album (on rec from Spencer Smith!). SO CUTE. SO HAPPY. The music is lovable and smart and complicated, but MOSTLY, there is so much JOY in their performance.
- Panic! PANIC!
♥ I ACCIDENTALLY DALLON WEEKES. He's really something to watch - he's hilarious and extremely sexual and there are these things with his bass and his mouth and his everything, and if you can tear your eyes away from Brendon, an entire show onto himself.
♥ BRENDON. BRENDON URIE. He's got that voice, and that intensity, and ALL THE ENERGY and STAGE PRESENCE and he's so good at making you feel like you are part of something MUCH BIGGER. He connects. It's fascinating.
♥ SPENCER. DRUMMING SPENCER. He's got these fans on his riser that give him the most artistically windswept hair at all times, and he's SUCH AN AMAZING MUSICIAN.
♥ IAN - far away, a tiny whirling dervish of energy and talent and JOY.
♥ NO SERIOUSLY, THEY SOUND AMAZING. And the band chemistry is really working - they clearly are having the time of their lives up there!
- WATCHED SHOW, DROVE HOME (3 hours!) STILL HADN'T CRASHED. STAYED UP UNTIL 4 AM.
Saturday: FANGIRL BRUNCH with romanticalgirl, fleurdeliser, desfinado (whom I managed to not fangirl too awkwardly, I hope?), plus Zabira and me_maneuver. Some Portland-y stuffs. Then downtown for second M&G.
Brought gifts. I had purchased bow ties for everyone in the band, which, not TOO EXPENSIVE, SMALL, and sort of a vote of confidence in the new aesthetic? PLUS, PRETTY.
Line....Zack....M&G 2. WAY SMALLER. The group was a bit less STARSTRUCK and a bit more WACKY, and somehow, WAY LESS AWKWARD \o/
BRENDON: I gave him the bow tie, and he said it was "wow, this is beautiful" and was happy that he'd learned to tie them. I said something about how I thought of asking his girlfriend over tumblr or something, but I thought that might be invasive and how she seems awesome. (I like her, okay. She makes him happy.) He held it up and told me he'd wear it that night. AWWWW.
DALLON: I told him how cool it was that they played "Goodnight Socialite" (a Brobecks song) over the house music at the previous show, and he was SO EXCITED and thanked me for recognizing it. I told him it is a great song, and there were high fives.
SPENCER: So, I brought my Panic/ fun. "C'mon" vinyl for signing, and I thanked him recommending fun., because, AWESOME, and he started telling me about how good the new songs sound and then wanted to tell me all about Steel Train (guitarist Jack Antonoff's other band) and we had an ENTIRE CONVERSATION ABOUT STEEL TRAIN AND HOW WE BOTH LOVE THEM that sort of managed to hold up the line a little.
IAN: SO, I like guitars? And he's got this strange one - an oddly shaped white one with all these knobs and three pickups. I asked him what that was, and he told me it was an "Airliner" and that they've got some really cool tones. And I told him it looked like a STORM TROOPER, and apparently THAT is the key to Ian Crawford, because he LIT UP and started showing me his Star Wars storm trooper watch and leaned over to tell Spencer and Spencer agreed, and there was this moment where we were ALL THE BIGGEST NERDS EVER. PURE GLEE.
(no, really, looks like a Storm Trooper . And DOES have cool tones)
AND THEN THERE WAS PHOTO WACKINESS, and LAUGHTER, and we were all way less awkward and it was actually FUN. (two meet and greets - I'd advice it!)
SHOW 2.0
♥ Switched sides, grabbed a spot over by Ian and with a clearer Spencer eyeline. Sounds good on paper, y? Turns out, Roseland security. LAME. I don't think they ever showed up? It was EXTREMELY pushy, and we HELD ON and got shifted a few feet towards center as people tried to show us back and push us off the barricade. By the time the lights went down for Panic!, I'd made peace with the idea that I was just going to let go, fall back, and do my best. We couldn't even get a security guard to help us haul up a very tiny girl who was nearly passing out from the total lack of air. I've got ALL THE BRUISES.
BUT: somehow, in the first rush of SHOW, I got lifted up, moved down two people, and placed DIRECTLY on the barricade, DIRECTLY in my original spot. All the drumming Spencer visibility for me! And the show is so riveting that all the shoving dies down and everyone just HAS FUN. So I'm still calling it a GOOD PLAN to hold on tight and be stubborn.
AND.
OKAY.
BRENDON URIE.
WEARING THE BOW TIE.
Which he NEVER TOOK OFF, all night. He usually loses those things about halfway through the set. I CAN'T EVEN.
(It looked DAMN GOOD on him, too.)
♥ other observations - I really love watching Ian PLAY GUITAR. He's SO GOOD, and he plays with such JOY and EASE. He plays like no one ever told him that playing guitar is supposed to be difficult.
(ALSO: he nodded and grinned at me when he busted out the storm trooper guitar! AHAHAHAHAHAH WIN)
♥ NO SERIOUSLY, THIS BAND. THIS VERSION OF THIS BAND. HAVING SO MUCH FUN. They can PLAY ANYTHING and they can all SING ANYTHING, and it sounds SO GOOD and there is SO MUCH COLLECTIVE AFFECTION. I love it when musicians really enjoy their jobs.
♥ SPENCER SMITH. Does VOCALS on "Nine In the Afternoon". I like that a lot.
♥ ALL THE STAGEGAY. It's light and fun, and even when choreographed, still feels spontaneous. I have ALL THE FEELING about this band and stagegay, and how, no matter what their motivations may or may not be, it's helped create a culture where I am 100% comfortable to go to these shows WITH MY WIFE and be affectionate and not feel like I'm somehow WRONG. Because these bands tell me that who I am is PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE.
FITTINGLY: New York legalized gay marriage while I was pressed against the barricade of the Seattle show, on opening night of Pride weekend.
IN CONCLUSION: THIS BAND. I SORT OF LOVE THEM A LOT!
ALSO: I HAVE PICTURES!!!!!
Mine, from the barricade in Seattle
a mix of mine and M's - barricade and balcony - in Portland
This is Brendon Urie. On stage. Wearing the bow tie I gave him.
BEST. EVER.
In FAR less summary:
So, there's this BAND. They are called Panic! at the Disco. I kind of like them a lot. You may have noticed? They are currently on tour. I go to concerts. This is a happy coincidence! Because that means that me_maneuver, zabira, and I got to go to THEIR CONCERT. TWICE.
Let's start this a few months back: I'm kind of in their fanclub. Because I really am that much of a dork, and they really seem to care about their fanclub (to the extent that MY ACTUAL NAME is listed in the "Special Thanks to our fanclub" credits of the recent DVD ♥) The fanclub members were able to purchase tickets in presale mode - either general admission, or could upgrade to additional levels that included special merch and a chance to meet the band. We decided we were going twice - just general admission in Seattle, full on crazy fangirl meet and greet package in Portland. There were plans made and gifts purchased and thoughts about to say to the boys.
But then, SURPRISE! We win an upgrade to the meet and greet in Seattle! So now, we're the strange people stalking them up the coast.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OKAY THEN.
Friday: took off work. Woke up early. Drove to Seattle. Collected Z, and headed directly down to the Showbox. We parked the car, walked to a nearby restaurant, ate tasty foods, walked back to the venue to join the other M&G people. The ever-wonderful romanticalgirl came and chatted with us until they allowed her to take a seat at the bar. Zack appeared, teased us about the rain, was generally amusing, and eventually led us into the venue for the M&G. There was the famous "don't be a creeper" speech, and then THE BOYS, OMG, and there's this thing, where I KNOW that they are just GUYS who are IN A BAND and sure, CUTE and TALENTED, but, you know, PEOPLE, but also this thing where they've inspired me to push myself and TRY THINGS and WORK FOR THINGS and yes, I overidentify with Ryan Ross and so am STUPIDLY GRATEFUL to Spencer Smith for being his best friend, and how watching Brendon grow up and turn into this really good person over the past few years has become all wrapped up in my head with the idea of ambition, and this realization that it's OKAY TO WANT THINGS FOR MYSELF, and how I am RIDICULOUSLY proud of him for what he's achieved with the newest album.
ALL THE FEELINGS. I HAVE THEM.
But, TALKING TO THEM. Okay.
I had brought "A Picture With Books" for signing, because it's SO SPECIAL and "Live in Chicago" is the reason I fell in love with them as MUSICIANS.
Since my wife is AWESOME, she'd arranged "The Ballad of Mona Lisa" for harp, and brought them sheet music to sign!
Dallon: I told him how much I LOVED the Brobecks (his solo indie band. "Violent Things" is hands down my favorite bandom6D album. SO STRANGE. DISTURBINGLY SEXY. AWESOME), and wished his wife a happy birthday - he'd said something on twitter about missing out on it.
Spencer: Okay, seriously. SPENCER SMITH. SO MUCH PRETTIER IN PERSON. I CAN'T EVEN. And MORE than that, he's surprisingly INTENSE. He often seems sleepy and a bit standoffish in interviews, but in person, he's got a whole lot of focus, and he looks you right in the eye and smiles and there are freckles and HELLO. ALL THE THOUGHTS. GONE. I think I agreed a lot. And then joined in me_maneuver's conversation about the sheet music and how she'd posted a recording on youtube and I think I was really stupid for a minute?
Ian: He is SO SMILEY and TINY and I think we talked about how I saw him in Stamps back in October and how that was cool, and how I was sad there weren't more people to appreciate it.
BRENDON: I don't think I was expecting him to be so APPROACHABLE. He's just THERE, and happy and dorky and tiny and impossible not to like. He took the book and SMILED, and then flipped through it a bit and looked at the pics and thanked me for choosing the bring it. And I got up my nerve and my MEMORY and told him that "Northern Downpour" was the song that inspired me to start playing the guitar, and he asked if I had an acoustic, so I told him I had a Hummingbird. He said that that was an amazing first instrument, and that they are beautiful. I managed to NOT mention that mine is NAMED AFTER HIM, because that crosses the line from "normal awkward" to "CREEPY".
ALSO - Brendon signs his name "Brendon Urie!" :D!
And then there was A PICTURE and I somehow attempted to respect Brendon's personal space a bit too much but it's otherwise NOT EMBARRASSING, so I'll call it a win?
THAN: OMFG SHOW. SHOW AT THE BARRICADE. Let's just gloss over:
-I'd never done barricade before, was a bit intimidated, but determined to hold my ground.
- Showbox security. WOW. WINS A LOT. Kept the crazy to an absolute minimum. Were VERY AWARE. Z and I sort of bonded with security guy, were deemed trustworthy and amusing, got free water.
- Funeral Party: not bad. Not GOOD, but they can play. Lacking in charisma - their frontman has a lot of INTENSITY, but it's sort of inwardly directed and it doesn't really connect at all.
- fun. OKAY, I'd been HOPING for that match-up since I first heard fun.'s album (on rec from Spencer Smith!). SO CUTE. SO HAPPY. The music is lovable and smart and complicated, but MOSTLY, there is so much JOY in their performance.
- Panic! PANIC!
♥ I ACCIDENTALLY DALLON WEEKES. He's really something to watch - he's hilarious and extremely sexual and there are these things with his bass and his mouth and his everything, and if you can tear your eyes away from Brendon, an entire show onto himself.
♥ BRENDON. BRENDON URIE. He's got that voice, and that intensity, and ALL THE ENERGY and STAGE PRESENCE and he's so good at making you feel like you are part of something MUCH BIGGER. He connects. It's fascinating.
♥ SPENCER. DRUMMING SPENCER. He's got these fans on his riser that give him the most artistically windswept hair at all times, and he's SUCH AN AMAZING MUSICIAN.
♥ IAN - far away, a tiny whirling dervish of energy and talent and JOY.
♥ NO SERIOUSLY, THEY SOUND AMAZING. And the band chemistry is really working - they clearly are having the time of their lives up there!
- WATCHED SHOW, DROVE HOME (3 hours!) STILL HADN'T CRASHED. STAYED UP UNTIL 4 AM.
Saturday: FANGIRL BRUNCH with romanticalgirl, fleurdeliser, desfinado (whom I managed to not fangirl too awkwardly, I hope?), plus Zabira and me_maneuver. Some Portland-y stuffs. Then downtown for second M&G.
Brought gifts. I had purchased bow ties for everyone in the band, which, not TOO EXPENSIVE, SMALL, and sort of a vote of confidence in the new aesthetic? PLUS, PRETTY.
Line....Zack....M&G 2. WAY SMALLER. The group was a bit less STARSTRUCK and a bit more WACKY, and somehow, WAY LESS AWKWARD \o/
BRENDON: I gave him the bow tie, and he said it was "wow, this is beautiful" and was happy that he'd learned to tie them. I said something about how I thought of asking his girlfriend over tumblr or something, but I thought that might be invasive and how she seems awesome. (I like her, okay. She makes him happy.) He held it up and told me he'd wear it that night. AWWWW.
DALLON: I told him how cool it was that they played "Goodnight Socialite" (a Brobecks song) over the house music at the previous show, and he was SO EXCITED and thanked me for recognizing it. I told him it is a great song, and there were high fives.
SPENCER: So, I brought my Panic/ fun. "C'mon" vinyl for signing, and I thanked him recommending fun., because, AWESOME, and he started telling me about how good the new songs sound and then wanted to tell me all about Steel Train (guitarist Jack Antonoff's other band) and we had an ENTIRE CONVERSATION ABOUT STEEL TRAIN AND HOW WE BOTH LOVE THEM that sort of managed to hold up the line a little.
IAN: SO, I like guitars? And he's got this strange one - an oddly shaped white one with all these knobs and three pickups. I asked him what that was, and he told me it was an "Airliner" and that they've got some really cool tones. And I told him it looked like a STORM TROOPER, and apparently THAT is the key to Ian Crawford, because he LIT UP and started showing me his Star Wars storm trooper watch and leaned over to tell Spencer and Spencer agreed, and there was this moment where we were ALL THE BIGGEST NERDS EVER. PURE GLEE.
(no, really, looks like a Storm Trooper . And DOES have cool tones)
AND THEN THERE WAS PHOTO WACKINESS, and LAUGHTER, and we were all way less awkward and it was actually FUN. (two meet and greets - I'd advice it!)
SHOW 2.0
♥ Switched sides, grabbed a spot over by Ian and with a clearer Spencer eyeline. Sounds good on paper, y? Turns out, Roseland security. LAME. I don't think they ever showed up? It was EXTREMELY pushy, and we HELD ON and got shifted a few feet towards center as people tried to show us back and push us off the barricade. By the time the lights went down for Panic!, I'd made peace with the idea that I was just going to let go, fall back, and do my best. We couldn't even get a security guard to help us haul up a very tiny girl who was nearly passing out from the total lack of air. I've got ALL THE BRUISES.
BUT: somehow, in the first rush of SHOW, I got lifted up, moved down two people, and placed DIRECTLY on the barricade, DIRECTLY in my original spot. All the drumming Spencer visibility for me! And the show is so riveting that all the shoving dies down and everyone just HAS FUN. So I'm still calling it a GOOD PLAN to hold on tight and be stubborn.
AND.
OKAY.
BRENDON URIE.
WEARING THE BOW TIE.
Which he NEVER TOOK OFF, all night. He usually loses those things about halfway through the set. I CAN'T EVEN.
(It looked DAMN GOOD on him, too.)
♥ other observations - I really love watching Ian PLAY GUITAR. He's SO GOOD, and he plays with such JOY and EASE. He plays like no one ever told him that playing guitar is supposed to be difficult.
(ALSO: he nodded and grinned at me when he busted out the storm trooper guitar! AHAHAHAHAHAH WIN)
♥ NO SERIOUSLY, THIS BAND. THIS VERSION OF THIS BAND. HAVING SO MUCH FUN. They can PLAY ANYTHING and they can all SING ANYTHING, and it sounds SO GOOD and there is SO MUCH COLLECTIVE AFFECTION. I love it when musicians really enjoy their jobs.
♥ SPENCER SMITH. Does VOCALS on "Nine In the Afternoon". I like that a lot.
♥ ALL THE STAGEGAY. It's light and fun, and even when choreographed, still feels spontaneous. I have ALL THE FEELING about this band and stagegay, and how, no matter what their motivations may or may not be, it's helped create a culture where I am 100% comfortable to go to these shows WITH MY WIFE and be affectionate and not feel like I'm somehow WRONG. Because these bands tell me that who I am is PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE.
FITTINGLY: New York legalized gay marriage while I was pressed against the barricade of the Seattle show, on opening night of Pride weekend.
IN CONCLUSION: THIS BAND. I SORT OF LOVE THEM A LOT!
ALSO: I HAVE PICTURES!!!!!
Mine, from the barricade in Seattle
a mix of mine and M's - barricade and balcony - in Portland