(no subject)
I haven't spoke to April since Monday morning. She has surgery this Thursday. The best thing I can do is just say a prayer for the surgery and all. But it's fairly common so I am not real worried. But since I am kinda on the verge of being MAD sick of her I thought it was best to say a prayer instead of call her. I don't want to lose her as a friend but some things have seriously got to change between us. And I am gonna take Julie's advice and have myself a little break from her so we won't be so sick of each other. I just don't understand her sometimes. She calls me her best friend and says I am the only one who understands her, and all this shit, then in the same breath finds a way to make me feel bad about myself. Or she always has to be negative about everything, and she's always got something wrong with her. Most of the time none of it's real. She constantly belittles me in front of other people. I think she gets off on trying to call me out and make me look dumb. She has been really rude about J too. Which really drives me mad insane. I mean don't get me wrong I am not some fragile mouse that sets back and lets her talk to me like this. I rip her ass right back, but I don't like acting like that. Friends shouldn't be like that. Hateful, and jealous towards one and other. It's really frustrating. Things have been going really bad since last week. She has not helped. And then this shit with J has just spun our world around. But we are both cool now. We just needed a night alone in each-others arms as corny as that sounds. I feel so much better now though. At least about OUR situation. The April thing on the other hand I am still at a lose at the moment.