Soooo Lonely
I'm sitting here, all alone... I don't get another day off until Tuesday... I had a few hours to kill before I had to go to work, and I'm all alone... Talena is out with her mom and her new friends.... Thats cool... :) I dunno... I'm kind of sadd, but not really... I dunno... She has this really cool friend now, and I still don't really have anyone... Yea, I have all my internet buddies, but not really anyone I can call up and meet up with, ya know??? Talena asked me what was wrong, and I told her I was a lil jealous... Do I have the right to be??? I think so... She has only really been talking to Randi for a few days, and already they are going over eachothers houses, and spending endless hours on the phone and computer... Shit, I mean, I got home the other day from working, probably around 11pm... I had to wait until 5Am (after she was done on the computer talking and we went shopping) to finally go to bed, then having been woke up at 10:45AM by a phone call, and barely getting any sleep... I dunno... They are still kinda feeling eachother out, and I'm just afraid that I'm going to loose her... I picked her up yesterday at Randi's about 12:30AM after work, and she started talking to me about how we have no more "spark and passion" in the relationship, and that its like we're an old married couple... We don't get the "butterflies" when we touch or kiss or anything... I don't want to get the wrong idea about the next thing she said, so I'm not... You tell me what to think, cuz I'm not going to think bad thoughts... She was like, "oh, well you know the feeling you get when you like somebody and they like you back, and you keep doing things on purpose so you can touch them and try to hint to them and stuff?? And the tension is so thick and blah blah blah..." I think she was just saying that to start out the convo we had about how we no longer have the "love bug" so to speak... But I can't help but be a lil worried and a lil jealous... Maybe its just because I'm used to people who I love, shitting on me and, ya know, saying "oh, we're just friends, don't worry... There's nothing to worry about..." And a week later, I find out they're sleeping together and are in love, and I was just a rebound, 3rd wheel kinda thing... I know thats not going to happen with Talena... I'm just really scared... I trust her and thats what scares me... I don't want this great trust I have for her to be broken... Because it would break my heart... Any thoughts???