Really?? Huh...
So, I was feeling slightly nostalgic today and doing some facebook stalking of high school classmates...ya know, just to see where everyone is now and whatnot. Well, I ran across a few people that I didn't recognize. I whipped out the trusty senior yearbook and found them. As I kept looking through it, I realized that I didn't remember about
( Read more... )
You know what's really weird? The other day I was Facebook stalking some people I went to high school with too. I don't think it was the same day tho.
I always think that I'm not good enough. No one ever told me that. I kept telling myself that and I know it screwed me up.
In middle school, I remember some asshole of a guy pushing me against a locker (and that's all he did to me.) because I stayed after school for something. I don't remember why they did it or what they said, if they said anything. Probably because I most likely had an instrument in my hand. I guess I just blocked it out b/c I didn't want to think about it. I know I didn't do anything to them.
I never told anyone in my family or any so-called friends about that. You're the first.
In high school, the group I was "friends" with was entirely too smart for me and in that "gifted" program in middle school/honors classes for geniuses. I seriously felt like I didn't belong- they included me in stuff, but eventually I withdrew from a lot of things and didn't want to talk to them because I didn't think I was good enough or smart enough for them.
They were all really close and hung out a lot more often than I did with them. I felt like I was the outsider. They even invited me to do stuff in college but I felt so different and awkward I just didn't go. I don't talk to them anymore. The group of people's very nice.. I just didn't belong (i.e. one person I know worked with NASA.). :-/
I feel like you're the first person to accept me for who I am without judging me and thank you for that!!
I think I'm still trying to prove that I'm good enough but my grandfather pissed me off today to say that I'm not an idiot and I know it.
People are more like us than we think.
Sorry this is so long- it should be an LJ but I definitely know how you feel.
Reply
Leave a comment