School pride (and other little tidbits from my day)
I was walking around Walgreens, waiting for my prescription.
I kept getting the oddest looks--some curious, some offend, some, outright angry. I couldn't figure it out. Did I hit someone's car? Do I have ice cream on my nose?
Then I looked down, and it clicked.
I was wearing my emerald-green, "Here Comes the Irish" shirt--the emblem of Notre Dame football. UIUC starts in about a week (same as ND)...that's why I was getting such looks. *slight smile* It's like a bear walking into the lion's den. It might be only searching for honey, but it's still in the heart of enemy territory.
It made me smile, even though I've yet to attend a football game (compared to 99% of the student population who buy season tickets).
Speaking of school pride, the girl who won the Olympic gold in fencing (Marciel, I think?) is starting at ND in the FALL!!! I'm not surprised (past the inital shock--"oh my God, she's going to my school!!!")...we have one of the top fencing teams in the nation. A girl I know (from the ED recovery group at our school, actually) is a fencer. Despite injuries, we did quite well last year. Not sure if we won the NCAA championship, but we must have come pretty damn close...and we were the favorite going into the finals. We'll be never better next year, with her on the team...
*****
I'm going in for bloodwork tomorrow. My doctor ordered a diabetes test (one of my glucose tests came up high, and this could explain the reoccuring infections)...an HIV test (*wince*--last Easter is still haunting me), and a tyroid test (how else to explain gaining 10 lbs in 6 weeks...exercising off more cals than I eat, even if I had zero metabolism?), and a complete profile count.
This doctor, who is new to us (we're still shopping around, after moving) drove me nuts. For starters, she refused to listen to me. I couldn't tell her that I'm not on the Zoloft anymore (parents only agreed to pay for it recently, and the doc's samples ran out a long time ago)...because it's on my records...but I kept insisting that the stomach problems I've been experiencing can't possibly be because of it. She cut me off almost every single time, was curt to the point of rudeness...and made a few comments about my weight gain that is utterly unprofessional. I'll deal with her for now, because I won't be here long...but I'm definitely going to keep on looking for a new doctor. My last one, in Naperville, was amazing--a kind, caring man who always took the time to listen, answer, and explain. I won't settle for anything less.
On top of the rudeness and her unwillingness to consider other diagnoses (how could the Zoloft still be effecting me, since I took it for a 3 weeks only, 3 months ago?), she gave me the WRONG paperwork. I had someone else's health information to take to the lab. It's a good thing that I checked through it before I left...
Not looking forward to tomorrow. The chances of a positive result on the diabettes and HIV are very, very slim...but there's still a chance, and THAT is terrifying.
*****
Things are still tense at home. Mom's in Florida on a business trip...she's been there since Monday, and will be there through Friday night. It's a relief. I hate to admit it...but it's a big relief that she isn't here. Still...Dad and I rarely see each other (perhaps 3-4 hours every night, while we watch the Olympics together). It's quite when we are together...but the silence, though awkward, isn't the sugar-coated bile of tense silences when Mom and I are not getting along.
My doctor mentioned that I could have IBS...which is triggered by stress. It sounds about right (certainly more likely than the Zoloft reexaction she keeps pushing)...my sympothems are an exact match, and they get worse whenever I'm home. Much worse. I wake up most mornings, some times in the middle of the night...fighting the urge to throw it. It's not even fighting bulimia...but the physical reactions of my stomach to stress. It's that feeling you have right before you get on stage--you're tense, nervous, with "butterflies" in your stomach. Except that it's constant for me. On top of that, I'm incredibly bloated (not related to pms), exhausted, and oddly irregular (odd, because this never occured even when I was in the worst of the anorexia, or the COE--and I'm not quite at either extreme right now). I hope that the bloodwork will bring some things to light...otherwise, I'll have to talk to my doctors at ND. *sighs* I have less than absolute faith in the ND health services...but I won't have much of a choice.
Maybe being at ND will help allievate the stress. No schoolwork (for 3 weeks), no parents...
I kept getting the oddest looks--some curious, some offend, some, outright angry. I couldn't figure it out. Did I hit someone's car? Do I have ice cream on my nose?
Then I looked down, and it clicked.
I was wearing my emerald-green, "Here Comes the Irish" shirt--the emblem of Notre Dame football. UIUC starts in about a week (same as ND)...that's why I was getting such looks. *slight smile* It's like a bear walking into the lion's den. It might be only searching for honey, but it's still in the heart of enemy territory.
It made me smile, even though I've yet to attend a football game (compared to 99% of the student population who buy season tickets).
Speaking of school pride, the girl who won the Olympic gold in fencing (Marciel, I think?) is starting at ND in the FALL!!! I'm not surprised (past the inital shock--"oh my God, she's going to my school!!!")...we have one of the top fencing teams in the nation. A girl I know (from the ED recovery group at our school, actually) is a fencer. Despite injuries, we did quite well last year. Not sure if we won the NCAA championship, but we must have come pretty damn close...and we were the favorite going into the finals. We'll be never better next year, with her on the team...
*****
I'm going in for bloodwork tomorrow. My doctor ordered a diabetes test (one of my glucose tests came up high, and this could explain the reoccuring infections)...an HIV test (*wince*--last Easter is still haunting me), and a tyroid test (how else to explain gaining 10 lbs in 6 weeks...exercising off more cals than I eat, even if I had zero metabolism?), and a complete profile count.
This doctor, who is new to us (we're still shopping around, after moving) drove me nuts. For starters, she refused to listen to me. I couldn't tell her that I'm not on the Zoloft anymore (parents only agreed to pay for it recently, and the doc's samples ran out a long time ago)...because it's on my records...but I kept insisting that the stomach problems I've been experiencing can't possibly be because of it. She cut me off almost every single time, was curt to the point of rudeness...and made a few comments about my weight gain that is utterly unprofessional. I'll deal with her for now, because I won't be here long...but I'm definitely going to keep on looking for a new doctor. My last one, in Naperville, was amazing--a kind, caring man who always took the time to listen, answer, and explain. I won't settle for anything less.
On top of the rudeness and her unwillingness to consider other diagnoses (how could the Zoloft still be effecting me, since I took it for a 3 weeks only, 3 months ago?), she gave me the WRONG paperwork. I had someone else's health information to take to the lab. It's a good thing that I checked through it before I left...
Not looking forward to tomorrow. The chances of a positive result on the diabettes and HIV are very, very slim...but there's still a chance, and THAT is terrifying.
*****
Things are still tense at home. Mom's in Florida on a business trip...she's been there since Monday, and will be there through Friday night. It's a relief. I hate to admit it...but it's a big relief that she isn't here. Still...Dad and I rarely see each other (perhaps 3-4 hours every night, while we watch the Olympics together). It's quite when we are together...but the silence, though awkward, isn't the sugar-coated bile of tense silences when Mom and I are not getting along.
My doctor mentioned that I could have IBS...which is triggered by stress. It sounds about right (certainly more likely than the Zoloft reexaction she keeps pushing)...my sympothems are an exact match, and they get worse whenever I'm home. Much worse. I wake up most mornings, some times in the middle of the night...fighting the urge to throw it. It's not even fighting bulimia...but the physical reactions of my stomach to stress. It's that feeling you have right before you get on stage--you're tense, nervous, with "butterflies" in your stomach. Except that it's constant for me. On top of that, I'm incredibly bloated (not related to pms), exhausted, and oddly irregular (odd, because this never occured even when I was in the worst of the anorexia, or the COE--and I'm not quite at either extreme right now). I hope that the bloodwork will bring some things to light...otherwise, I'll have to talk to my doctors at ND. *sighs* I have less than absolute faith in the ND health services...but I won't have much of a choice.
Maybe being at ND will help allievate the stress. No schoolwork (for 3 weeks), no parents...